Did you ever have the "sex talk"? How did you take it?

[Larkaloke]

I never had any real talk about such things with my parents, at least not directly, as far as I can recall -- if they ever tried to hint at it, I didn't notice. They did give me several books about growing up, puberty, and that sort of thing around when I was eight, probably because they caught on quickly to my absorbing information better from reading in general. I read them, wondered somewhat why they'd decided I should, and then shrugged and went on.

Since I've been reading whatever was lying around near me since I was very young, I'd already encountered plenty of references to sex and romance and such by that time. I didn't really put 2 and 2 together, though; I just thought of the books as an interesting biology lesson, which I suppose is more or less the truth.

Now that I think about it, I remember a few times where they hinted that I could always talk to them about that specifically if I wanted to, but it didn't stand out to me as anything other than a reenforcement of the (to me obvious) fact that I could talk to them about anything.

[MissLunarWolf]

I never had a talk, I was such a sheltered kid! When other kids in school made sexual jokes or references, I was just thinking WTF does that mean? I eventually figured out that it was about sex, but I felt stupid that didn't know what stuff meant (cuz everyone else did) so I didn't really ask. I pretty much just knew whatever they told us in sex-ed. I used to wonder if that may have contributed to my asexuality (which lead to questioning if I really was asexual, or maybe just sheltered), but my siblings are perfectly normal so I realized that it was just me.

I was wondering the same question, that's why I made this thread. But it seems regardless of whether or not one grew up in a household where sex was openly discussed, or hidden from youth; asexuals had there own opinions about sex before they were exposed to sexuality.

But, this all makes me wonder how sexuals (or even homosexuals!) reacted when they were first introduced to sexuality. Would they initially be grossed out?

[iamaoife]

I never had 'the talk', although my father tried asking me if I "knew everything" one time when I was about 12 but I immediately shut him off :lol: I already did know "everything" btw because I live in Sweden and we get sex ed from fourth grade... I actually found this sex ed quiz from around that time the other day in which we were supposed to answer what sex is and why people have it, I literally wrote "It's like kissing but worse" "People can have "sex" when they love each other so much they want to have babies"

I guess my parents being very 'hush hush' about it made it almost unexisting for me, which probably postponed me finding out about my asexuality quite a bit (like it wasn't something I really thought about/realised until last year, I'd only felt a bit left out since middle school)

[MoistCat]

Never had the talk, but my parents did give it to my brother. I was never really exposed to it by 'peers' until about a year or so ago but then again I've never really had friends nor a social life to being with.

[Agape]

Never did. I think a lot of kids get it when they start showing some sort of curiosity in sex. Never really had that curiosity, never got the talk...

[Vala]

Our parents read to my sister and me that one children's book (Where Did I Come From? I think it was) back in fourth or fifth grade. I remember us being really amused by it. Other than a few other books on puberty that they gave us, my parents never really talked to us about sex. In school we had the puberty talk in 5th grade, human growth in 6th, and then human health in 8th grade. I know for 8th grade we had some assignments where we had to talk to our parents about sexual topics, but it wasn't much in-depth. I wasn't curious about it, and I wasn't dating, so I guess they didn't see much of a reason to discuss it further. (I do remember my mom asking me to ask my 6th grade teacher when we'd start the Human Growth and Development unit, so I wonder if she was relieved the school was teaching stuff).

I did remember one thing while reading this thread. It seems like when I first started middle school (6th grade), all the girls had gotten boy crazy over the summer. There was this couple that would get into heavy makeout sessions right before school started, in front of the doors, where all the rest of us were hanging out and waiting for the doors to open. I mentioned this to my mom, and she rolled her eyes and scoffed, and said kids our age "couldn't have those types of feelings yet." Looking back, I wonder if I may have internalized that a little.

[Skycaptain]

I'm from a generation older than most posters here. Sex education did not exist at school. I never really had "the talk" with anyone, but like many others here, there was no need for it.

Self-stimulation was something I discovered myself in the privacy of my own bedroom. There was no need to discuss homosexuality, as a family member was openly gay, so we were all aware of non-hetero relationships. Even intersex was a concept I was well aware of prior to adolescence. The only sexual theme that I was unaware of by my teenage years was, unfortunately, asexuality. Even amongst my peers at school and university sex was a taboo topi, certainly around me. I can only surmise that I radiated asexuality back then

[Schattenschatz]

I remember when I was young, I forget how old exactly, my mother asked me if I knew what sex was. At that point I did as I had figured it out myself from books and movies and television, but I felt from the way she said it that I shouldn't know, so I said no. She then asked me if I was curious, and I said something along the lines of "I guess so" because I just wanted her to tell me and get it out of the way. So she did, and I reacted with a sort of 'ew, I don't want to do that' response, which was honest enough.

I remember her laughing about it to someone, how I had insisted I wouldn't want to have sex, even when I grew up. Joke's on you mom. 8)

[AnActualAngel]

I didn't have the talk, not really, my family is very uptight about this and any mention about sex was mostly frowned upon. But when I turned 16, my mom kept slipping me condoms and telling me to be careful while looking at me weirdly, so that was quite awkward and uncomfortable :'D but i didn't really need the talk as I was quite skilled as doing my own research :) it didn't help me in finding out about my asexuality, because I thought I was too young and I'd be interested later :)

[WakingDreamer]

My parents had a video that they'd saved from when my sister was in high school that explained all about puberty, sex, etc. etc. for both boys and girls. I sat down and watched it a few times, fascinated, then I guess I figured it didn't really apply to me (beyond the puberty information) and ignored it.

Lo and behold, we watched that very video when I reached high school myself. lol

[allrightalready]

4th through 6th grade they had sex ed at school (highly heteronormative and shaming and not all that useful or interesting to me) in 7th and 8th they offered it and i begged my parents to refuse to sign the permission slip (i got bonus time in the library but it only led to even more teasing)

my partner and i talked to our children and used grays anatomy, they grew up pretty open about things (we were always in trouble after they were put in public school)

[Lord Jade Cross]

Parents tried once, I knew what it was, but it freaked me out.

[TeddyMiller]

I had sex ed in school, but the closest I came from a parent is my Mom telling me it wasn't like in "Catcher in the Rye". As I wasn't the one who'd been reading "Catcher in the Rye", that didn't tell me much.

[RK800]

No.

My Mom's idea of 'the talk' was tossing a very pink, rather disturbingly explicit 'learn about your body' book at me.

I figured things out on my own as I'd rather discuss things like relgion and gardening with her.

[blacktea]

I never got the talk either and I was not interested in perusing the subject on my own. My sister who is just a little younger than I asked my mom why we never got the talk and my mothers answer was pretty funny. "We live on a farm and breed goats I thought you would get the idea." When we were young teens though there was a pretty big emphasis on no fornication, no problem for me there.