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Allo to Asexual


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Ok, complex question here, sex never interested me. I was never sexually attracted to anyone until I turned 18, or rather right before I turned 18. For a long time I thought I was straight because I was only intrested in men, but there were a few girls I was romantically interested in growing up, but never a sexual attraction to them spesfically. I have experenced asethic attraction, and I believe everyone experiences asethic attraction, correct? The men I was sexually attracted to growing up were all gay, and I was born female. (I ended up having a male identiy on the internet to solve this problem, now I think I am adrogynous or possibly trans, though I am not 100% sure about my gender identiy but I was born with a female sex.) If I had a crush or dated a straight male, it was only asethic and romantic attraction. If there was any way I thought they could be gay, (for example them wanting me to touch their butt or something I thought was 'gay' in my head.) then I could be sexually attracted to that person, this has only happened in two cases. As I got older, I thought that I was pansexual, since I was attracted to females romantically. I had no idea that romantic attraction could be seperate until this week. (Yay aro people!) So now I know I am biromantic. I never expereinced any sexual attraction for any spesfic person until I was almost 18. I thought I was doing sex wrong. (I had lost my virginity to an older male when I was 13 and was sexual active growing up, though I didn't feel any of the 'good feelings.') So that all being said, I have experienced sexual attraction, and I am aware that asexuals do not experience sexual attraction. I had a strong emotional bond with the 2 I had sexual feelings for, so I figured I was demisexual. As of the last few days. I have experienced zero sexual attraction. I am in a long term, (I might even say hes my soul mate) relationship and he is one of the 2 that I have experienced sexual attraction for. The other one, still talks to me but I no longer feel an emotional connection with him since it is so infrequent and though I can say "oh you're pretty," I am not sexually attracted to him anymore. (again making me think I am demisexual.) My boyfriend is grey-asexual and he is how I've learned about asexuality and thats been within the last year and a half. I've been told I have a disease by past boyfriends, saying that my lady parts don't work right because they haven't had issues in the past turning on a girl. I am very confused with my sexuality. I don't want my sex drive back. I like things better this way. I have no desire to be aroused and I've tried looking at things that have made me aroused in the past including my boyfriend and I feel nothing, its kind of like a 'what are you even doing..." type of thing for me now. I have experienced sexual attraction though, which is the oppisite of asexual, but now I feel like I'm back to feeling no attraction to any spesfic person. I know sexuality is not a choice. But can someone go from allosexual to asexual? Would I be considered demisexual? What do I classify myself as?

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duct_tape_ninja

Sexuality is fluid (or so I've heard) which means it can definitely change. If you were allo before and you're ace now, then that's the way it is. You can classify yourself the way you feel best represents you, no one can really tell you what your sexuality is except yourself.

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You could possibly be demisexual, but I know the term grey-asexual is used to describe someone who is somewhere on the asexuality spectrum but doesn't consider themselves to be "just asexual" (for example, they may experience sexual attraction extremely rarely, or under specific circumstances). Use whatever label that you think fits though, because it's 100% your decision. :) Hope this helps!

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crazypimpernelfan

There's a possibility to go from allosexual to asexual! I feel like I've made that shift (except vice versa) and I do think it's possible to shift at any point in your life! In fact, any of us can shift sexuality even multiple times in our life--or shift sexuality the day we turn 40 (which happens more often than we think!). If you think you're asexual now, then you're asexual!

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