nicknack12 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 So, has anyone ever noticed how some people wear their personality, their character, their values, right on their sleeves? I wouldn't go so far as to call it LOVE at first sight, but I feel like you could get pretty close. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I tend to think that love at first sight probably doesn't exist. You might be able to guess a little bit about the person from looking at them, but until you actually get to know them, it's pretty hard to tell anything for sure. I might be able to agree with love at first conversation, or something more along those lines, but love at first sight is beyond comprehension for me. (Of course, this is just my opinion; I might be wrong) Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Although I never experienced it, I believe in attraction at first sight, including intense and obsessive attraction, but love at first sight, no, I don't. Attraction at first sight is "love" of a body, but deep and genuine love requires to know the other person in depth. The thing is a lot of people take attraction for love, because their feelings are very intense, especially when they're very young. But IMO, attraction is the seed and love is the tree that develops from it if you manage to make the seed grow well. Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Yeah! I've never been in love with anyone, even after knowing them for a long time, but when I see someone like that for the first time it's like Intense Interest At First Sight, and I know I want to find out more about them. Edit: Also, no, I don't think love at first sight is real but I think infatuation and attraction are and that they can be easily exaggerated into "love". Link to post Share on other sites
Ronny Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 "Love" has always seemed too strong a word, to me. Love, romantic or otherwise, is such a conditional affair, full of loopholes and little clauses, and can so easily degenerate to outright hatred. I don't believe I've ever loved anyone, perhaps not even family. I'm very fond of many people, I can enjoy their company, but love is a strong word, very easily said and just as easily retracted. I truly feel that simple affection is the best one can hope for. Cooler emotions have a way of keeping all parties in control of themselves, and leave none disappointed. Link to post Share on other sites
Manic Pixie Dream Nerd Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I thought this was going to be a rant on how "love at first sight" doesn't exist. XD This is much more interesting though. I'm pretty sure I had "Woah, that guy's cool!" at first sight with a guy in my chemistry class, kind of like Liebelit said. Like, he seemed really interesting and I wanted to get to know him. He ended up being my lab partner for second quarter (FIST PUMPPP) and we're friends now. But "love at first sight" or attraction-at-first-sight is something I don't experience, nor take very seriously. (But hey that's just me) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 The most I've personally experience is aesthetic attraction at first sight. I might see a dude and just really appreciate how he looks, in my mind be like "oh, he's so cuteeeee, I like his hair". I've fallen in love with people's personalities almost immediately, once in a while. This is usually platonic, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Love at first sight.. I fail to see how it would work. You don't know their personality, their values, their wishes, their dreams, their interests... so how can you love them? Link to post Share on other sites
Beyourownspotlight Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I don't think love at first sight is a thing, at least for me. I can certainly appreciate the way someone looks, or behaves, or carries themselves, and sort of think to myself 'damn this person is rad' or something along those lines. I generally form squishes on 'first impressions'. Like, you can (depending on the context) sometimes tell a lot about someone when you first meet. Like, take me for example. I generally (if I am walking my dog, or am on public transport) listening to my ipod thought headphones/earphones -- therefore you can safely assume I enjoy listening to music. I have a FOB tattoo on my right forearm, another safe assumption to make is that I very much enjoy FOB's music, and I will likely be wearing a band shirt too (say for example Green Day), so you can safely assume I like that band too. I may or may not have badges on my bag--- all of which are something I like (Harry Potter, FOB, Greenday, Sherlock blah blah blah). I think I went off on a tangent and honestly forgot what my original point was. I think it was, for me personally if someone is like me, and wears parts of their personality/things they enjoy on their sleeves, then I'll feel comfortable approaching them to strike up a conversation, or feel comfortable talking to them if they approach me about something they've recognised that I'm wearing. Then I want to be their friend. So it's more like a squish on first impressions. But I've never hat that lighting bolt of 'wow yes, this is the person I love forever more' just by seeing someone for the first time. And I doubt I ever would/will. Link to post Share on other sites
Daemien Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I might be able to agree with love at first conversation, or something more along those lines, but love at first sight is beyond comprehension for me. I can pretty much confirm this one. 3 years ago I met this girl when i was throwing a small party for me and my close friends. For the first 2 hours we just exchanged names and a few other basic thing (schools, age etc.). She is pretty cute, but it didn't really matter to me. I had to go rest for a bit in my room because i had a shoulder surgery 2 weeks before that, and she came in to check on me. We talked for 3 hours and I fell in love, my god how amazing it felt. And now 3 years later with every conversation I'm in love more and more. Too bad she doesn't feel the same way. Anyway the point was: I'm sure LOVE at first sight doesn't exist, attraction does (just not for me), but love at first conversation is a definite yes for me PS. does anyone have a cure for that stupid love thingy? Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 PS. does anyone have a cure for that stupid love thingy? It's not easy. Not seeing the person and doing your own stuff helps. But I don't think you would want that. Maybe you can "just enjoy" the feeling while it lasts? Link to post Share on other sites
AveSatanas Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I definitely believe in infatuation and obsession at first sight, because when I was not on the right meds I had this experience all the time. I think that any feelings that occur so suddenly are suspect as likely to be more about one's projections onto another than actual insight into the other person's character. We see what we want to see. My former best friend fell in love very suddenly and she used him and manipulated him and strung him along and he never did see it. It was always my fault that things didn't work out. But Hey! If you have a love at first sight story that ends happily go with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Romance at first sight certainly exists. Speaking from a lot of experience here. It's not really to do anything with real factors of personality etc., it's just projection running wild. In fact, the better I know a person, the less of a chance there will be I could develop romantic feelings for them (I was kinda the opposite of demiromantic, before SSRI made me effectivley aro completely). Love at first sight exists, too... but in a very different way than that phrase commonly gets used. A spiritual thing, that has nothing at all to do with actual relationship compatibility, just with unconditional acceptance/respect as a fellow human being. Loving someone at first sight doesn't mean you'll ever see them again after that first sight, and it won't be a big problem if you don't. ^_^ Obviously, neither of these two has anything to do with the establishment of healthy relationships. It's my conviction that these neccessarily require friendship as a basis, and friendship absolutely needs time to develop. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I believe there can be sth as 'love at first sight' but it's hard to understand for aces, especially demi ones. As we fall in love if we know sth more on the person. Eh, I can't fall in love in anyone unless I don't know anything on him. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I believe there can be sth as 'love at first sight' but it's hard to understand for aces, especially demi ones. As we fall in love if we know sth more on the person. Eh, I can't fall in love in anyone unless I don't know anything on him. Right! I feel that way too. So I'm always confused when somebody starts flirting with me BEFORE getting to know me. I can't take those people seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
cdrdash Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 So, has anyone ever noticed how some people wear their personality, their character, their values, right on their sleeves? I wouldn't go so far as to call it LOVE at first sight, but I feel like you could get pretty close. Thoughts? What if "Sight" in that sentence is really a metaphor for "First meeting" and not literally Sight. In that case I might buy into that I might fall in love with someone on the first meeting. I can imagine that everything they say and do on our first meeting resonates with me and I interpret that feeling as love. If we continue to see one another and form a loving relationship I can see myself saying to folks "It was love at first sight." I wonder ... has anyone experienced "Hate at First Sight"? Cathy Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 So, has anyone ever noticed how some people wear their personality, their character, their values, right on their sleeves? I wouldn't go so far as to call it LOVE at first sight, but I feel like you could get pretty close. Thoughts? What if "Sight" in that sentence is really a metaphor for "First meeting" and not literally Sight. In that case I might buy into that I might fall in love with someone on the first meeting. I can imagine that everything they say and do on our first meeting resonates with me and I interpret that feeling as love. If we continue to see one another and form a loving relationship I can see myself saying to folks "It was love at first sight." I wonder ... has anyone experienced "Hate at First Sight"? Cathy Most people I know who use "love at first sight" mean it as "I fell in love with her from across the room, I knew we were meant to be!" sort of thing. Before talking. At first meeting? Sure, you could get into a really deep, meaningful conversation and just click. But, just SEEING them with no interaction? That one I can't get! Link to post Share on other sites
TheKindredSoul Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I am not sure if these views come from the fact that I am aromantic, so I may be kind of biased. I do not believe in "love at first sight". Love is something that takes time and effort; it is not something that just comes instantly. The phenomenon that people wrongfully label as "love at first sight" is known as "infatuation". You know absolutely nothing about the person, but something in you is propelling you to find out more about them. This is what people call "romantic love", because it is mysterious and rose-tinted. Once you learn more about the person, the infatuation may turn into lust (but not always), which is what causes people to have sex with each other (unless you are asexual, then in that case you just get the desire for sensual intimacy). If a person and their lover is meant to be together, and they marry (or just live together...not all deep relationships are in marriage), true love may develop (but not always). When you take the time to know someone, care about them a lot, support them whenever they need you, and just love them whole heartedly as they are....I suppose you could call that "true love". Link to post Share on other sites
Daemien Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 PS. does anyone have a cure for that stupid love thingy? It's not easy. Not seeing the person and doing your own stuff helps. But I don't think you would want that. Maybe you can "just enjoy" the feeling while it lasts? Tried it for 7 month, didn't really work, but thanks for the advice :) Guess I'll just enjoy it. I am not sure if these views come from the fact that I am aromantic, so I may be kind of biased. I do not believe in "love at first sight". Love is something that takes time and effort; it is not something that just comes instantly. The phenomenon that people wrongfully label as "love at first sight" is known as "infatuation". You know absolutely nothing about the person, but something in you is propelling you to find out more about them. This is what people call "romantic love", because it is mysterious and rose-tinted. Once you learn more about the person, the infatuation may turn into lust (but not always), which is what causes people to have sex with each other (unless you are asexual, then in that case you just get the desire for sensual intimacy). If a person and their lover is meant to be together, and they marry (or just live together...not all deep relationships are in marriage), true love may develop (but not always). When you take the time to know someone, care about them a lot, support them whenever they need you, and just love them whole heartedly as they are....I suppose you could call that "true love". What you said here makes sense and I agree with most of it, but in my personal opinion: Lust isn't something that comes after infatuation, but rather something that comes along with it. Lust as a desire of the body doesn't require any amount of time nor does it require any other emotion to follow along with it. Infatuation leads to love. Infatuation would be you being in love with personality traits that you project on that person, while love would be realizing that those were only your projections and loving that exact person, not your own projection. Also love isn't something you really work on, a relationship is. I think that stronger love and stronger connection comes from a good relationship, and not the other way around. Just a disclaimer: not trying to be rude or condescending, just stating my personal opinions and thing i learned in my psych classes Link to post Share on other sites
A lone Tyranid Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 It's scientifically impossible as love requires a chemical reaction in the brain that cannot occur without immense stimuli. The whole "Love" thing is just an evolutionary mechanism that determines that this person has ideal DNA that would create strong children that will ensure the survival of the species. So, Love at first sight is impossible and stupid from an evolutionary perspective. The term itself is originally from "Romeo and Juliet", and even in that context it was only intended by Shakespear that the notion was an unavoidable product of destiny/fate-which is another stupid notion-and that it was not "real" love, as was mentioned by several characters throughout the story. But anyway, my point is made. Also, I am not trying to be offensive if anyone actually believes in it, I'm just saying it's not possible, or, even if it is, what you are experiencing is not "Love at first sight". Link to post Share on other sites
Relz Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 I have experienced interest at first sight--I think "Ooh, I want to get to know this person. Maybe we could be friends." Love at first sight doesn't make sense to me. The only people I love are my parents and my brother (who's like my best friend). I care so deeply for them I don't even have words to describe it. I would die for them. I highly doubt anyone would do that for a stranger just because they look pretty or they tell cool stories. :O Some allosexual and/or romantic people probably experience infatuation or lust at first sight, but love... nah. I'm sure the infatuation can turn into love once a connection has been made though. Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 I can definitely tell if I dislike someone at first sight. Okay... it may be after the first few minutes, but close enough. Usually I can spot someone I don't like really quickly. :P As for love... I don't know about that. I think you can be attracted at first sight. I guess it really depends on your definition of "love". The way all of the aces think of love, that probably doesn't happen. The way the media and most of society think of "love" (you know what I mean)... well yeah that kind probably happens all the time. Personally I think you really have to know someone to know if you love them or not. It doesn't just happen in an instant. Link to post Share on other sites
TheKindredSoul Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 PS. does anyone have a cure for that stupid love thingy? It's not easy. Not seeing the person and doing your own stuff helps. But I don't think you would want that. Maybe you can "just enjoy" the feeling while it lasts? Tried it for 7 month, didn't really work, but thanks for the advice :) Guess I'll just enjoy it. I am not sure if these views come from the fact that I am aromantic, so I may be kind of biased. I do not believe in "love at first sight". Love is something that takes time and effort; it is not something that just comes instantly. The phenomenon that people wrongfully label as "love at first sight" is known as "infatuation". You know absolutely nothing about the person, but something in you is propelling you to find out more about them. This is what people call "romantic love", because it is mysterious and rose-tinted. Once you learn more about the person, the infatuation may turn into lust (but not always), which is what causes people to have sex with each other (unless you are asexual, then in that case you just get the desire for sensual intimacy). If a person and their lover is meant to be together, and they marry (or just live together...not all deep relationships are in marriage), true love may develop (but not always). When you take the time to know someone, care about them a lot, support them whenever they need you, and just love them whole heartedly as they are....I suppose you could call that "true love". What you said here makes sense and I agree with most of it, but in my personal opinion: Lust isn't something that comes after infatuation, but rather something that comes along with it. Lust as a desire of the body doesn't require any amount of time nor does it require any other emotion to follow along with it. Infatuation leads to love. Infatuation would be you being in love with personality traits that you project on that person, while love would be realizing that those were only your projections and loving that exact person, not your own projection. Also love isn't something you really work on, a relationship is. I think that stronger love and stronger connection comes from a good relationship, and not the other way around. Just a disclaimer: not trying to be rude or condescending, just stating my personal opinions and thing i learned in my psych classes Thanks for correcting me on that! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Yona Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 I think love at first sight devalues the meaning of the word love. To me, it's a much stronger, deeper emotion that I would hope takes more than 1 second to arrive at. Attraction or lust at first sight--now this I definitely believe. I've never experienced it, though. I always crush on people after a few weeks or months of knowing them and talking every single day. Link to post Share on other sites
BusTotem Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 If you feel interest at first sight, and start talking, and then all the other sorts of attraction start coming online on that person as you get to know them better, in your memory it is going to be recorded as "at first sight" because of the limitations of your ability to record emotional state and time accurately in memory. So it's completely reasonable to have love at first sight in hindsight. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Yona Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 If you feel interest at first sight, and start talking, and then all the other sorts of attraction start coming online on that person as you get to know them better, in your memory it is going to be recorded as "at first sight" because of the limitations of your ability to record emotional state and time accurately in memory. So it's completely reasonable to have love at first sight in hindsight. ^_^ Hmmm... So in hindsight, you could claim that every interaction with that person eventually lead to the development of love. But by that theory, wouldn't everyone who has ever fallen in love be able to claim "love at first sight"? Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Love at first sight hasn't happened to me, but love at first eye-contact literally has. I don't even know how to put it. The "feeling" is that our souls connected then, but maybe that's a bit superstitous. But I can definitely say that the thing that is now the foundation of my relationship was sparked when we first looked into each other's eyes, and hasn't changed since then. Link to post Share on other sites
BusTotem Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 No, because most people don't start interacting with someone uninterrupted from their first encounter. If you see someone and go "They're interesting", but then don't follow up on it for a couple days, it won't be remembered in that way. Link to post Share on other sites
DexM Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 It happened with me. It isn't the same love as it later turns out to be, that takes time to nurture and grow, but it is something far different than you have ever experienced, and that makes you more aware of what is happening. It goes beyond interest, though interest is what brought you to the table, and you realise there is more than just the butterfly sensation in your stomach. Link to post Share on other sites
Mulan Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 ... but "love is blind", ain't it? ;) I'm not sure if it's LOVE at first sight... but it could be attraction. Love is a whole lot of things, imo. Link to post Share on other sites
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