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Broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago because I might be asexual


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alicered1878

I'm new at this because I've never really put much thought into my sexuality since the middle of high school where I thought I would try dating a girl (spoiler alert: it didn't work). I agonized over this for months, possibly being asexual that is, and I went over the my past relationships. I could say a guy was attractive, but to me it felt more like how the Birth of Venus can be an attractive to a perfectly straight woman. I've had sex before but it never really seemed all that important to me. A roommate I had in my first year in college was too interested in my sex life and didn't understand that I was uninterested in it, though she perceived it as I'm too prudish for her tastes. I didn't have sex in high school because i didn't see the point in it. I still don't. There are too many things that people over look when it comes to sex such as emotional/psychological responses, awkward moments, etc. Sometimes it does seem gross to me because you get all sweaty and bodily fluids go every where. 9 out of 10 times I find it disturbing how everybody is obsessed with sex. If we're not debating about it, we're over analyzing the sexuality of fictional characters.

Speaking of which, it gets more confusing for me because I find myself attracted to certain kinds of male characters. You see, I watch a lot of anime, not hentai, just plain anime. There are at least half a dozen characters that I'm more attracted to than real life men. Does that make me less of an asexual, or is it that because they're not real men it doesn't count?

Obviously, who I am in terms of my sexuality is up to me and nobody else. Still, I would like to get a little bit of feed back before I go out into the world and proclaim myself as an asexual.

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WünderBâhr

When you say "attracted to" the characters, in what way do you mean? A romantic attraction?

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alicered1878

I should have worded it better because for obvious reasons there is no relationship on account of them being fictional and all. Real people don't fascinate me as much as the characters I enjoy, both by how they look and their personalities. I think one could categorize it as something more along the lines of paintings/sculptures in that they have their own beauty but they have no feelings because they're not real. I'm horrible at this. I'm sorry for the confusion.

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So when you say you're attracted to someone, you mean that you think that person is pleasant to look at? Like looking at a painting? It sounds like you might be experiencing aesthetic attraction (admiring someone's appearance) but not sexual attraction (wanting to have sex with someone). You can be aesthetically attracted to people without being sexually attracted to them.

You might be aesthetically attracted to the fictional characters. Also, you can enjoy the idea of sex with someone (fictional or otherwise) and still be ace if you don't actually want to have sex in real life.

Welcome to AVEN by the way! :cake::cake::cake:

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