jellyfisk Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Is there a physical sensation with sexual attraction? Like, when you fantasize, or hug them? If so, how intense, and do all sexuals feel it? and if they don't feel it, what do they feel, and how intense? Link to post Share on other sites
teagansk Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I wouldn't say it is physical nearly as much as emotional for me. There is a physical response to arousal which happens when I fantasize or have close physical contact with the person I love but that is not nearly as noticeable as the emotions that it brings forward within me. I imagine it is very different for everyone, even sexuals. An example of the physical response could be simply getting an erection but it is the emotional feeling that I enjoy. I wish I could put words to it but it is hard to describe. The only word I can find for myself is the feeling of intense love. I think the intensity varies based on the person. I am high on the romantic and sexual scales so for me it is quite intense and something I crave. It is the closest thing I think I'll ever feel to addiction because I crave the feeling of love so much. I suppose you could say almost any emotion has a physical reaction associated with it (sadness, happiness, etc) but that is even harder to describe. Link to post Share on other sites
capt_pantsless Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 For me, it IS a physical sensation of wanting to be close or doing certain acts. It's like being really hungry - if you see a big plate of food when you haven't eaten all day, there's a physical urge to walk over and eat it. Same thing with sex, if I haven't had sex or masterbated in a few days, it's one of the first things in the back of my mind. The longer it goes since the last sexual encounter, the more vivid and powerful the urge, and the fantasy that goes with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 It's like being really hungry - if you see a big plate of food when you haven't eaten all day, there's a physical urge to walk over and eat it. There's a... let's go with "sensation"... I don't know if I want to call it physical or not, because it's kind of in-between... I can't pin down a place on/in my body I feel it, but it's about my body, and somehow feels physical... (??). Anyway, I think pantsless described it very well. It's a sensation that your body is drawn to another body. It's the weirdest thing. If there's a lot of distance between me and the other person, it's particularly interesting because my body feels pulled toward theirs, even though they aren't there. It feels like I'm a magnet being held away from my counterpart magnet. There's a sense of extreme frustration, both physical and emotional, when that physical contact isn't able to be achieved. I'd be lying if I said I had a genuine physical ache, but it's sooooo close to that, that I don't know what else to call it. Link to post Share on other sites
Neurula Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I believe that for males, they get erections. Surprisingly, two males have answered this question and not mentioned that... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I believe that for males, they get erections. Surprisingly, two males have answered this question and not mentioned that... I don't think that's necessarily what we were talking about... that's arousal, which is different. Incidentally, women get erections too. Link to post Share on other sites
Neurula Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I believe that for males, they get erections. Surprisingly, two males have answered this question and not mentioned that... I don't think that's necessarily what we were talking about... that's arousal, which is different. Incidentally, women get erections too. Ah, I see...I guess the discussion is about the attraction itself and not what physical changes come with sexual attraction. And good point women can get erections, I forgot about that. Link to post Share on other sites
teagansk Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I believe that for males, they get erections. Surprisingly, two males have answered this question and not mentioned that... Not true. I mentioned this. I like Skullery's explanation better than my own though. Strike my response and go with hers. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 It's the weirdest thing. If there's a lot of distance between me and the other person, it's particularly interesting because my body feels pulled toward theirs, even though they aren't there. It feels like I'm a magnet being held away from my counterpart magnet. There's a sense of extreme frustration, both physical and emotional, when that physical contact isn't able to be achieved. I'd be lying if I said I had a genuine physical ache, but it's sooooo close to that, that I don't know what else to call it. It's sexual attraction, Skulls! :lol: *ducks and runs* Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 It's the weirdest thing. If there's a lot of distance between me and the other person, it's particularly interesting because my body feels pulled toward theirs, even though they aren't there. It feels like I'm a magnet being held away from my counterpart magnet. There's a sense of extreme frustration, both physical and emotional, when that physical contact isn't able to be achieved. I'd be lying if I said I had a genuine physical ache, but it's sooooo close to that, that I don't know what else to call it. It's sexual attraction, Skulls! :lol: *ducks and runs* LOL I'm fine with that! Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 The more I read the more I can understand why sexuals like having sex or being close with a partner so much. Thanks for all the honest responses! Link to post Share on other sites
Custos Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I was about to ask a similar question in a new topic because I wanted to know what sexuals actually thought - almost like commentary - if they saw someone sexually attractive. The "big plate of food" analogy helps, thanks! :) Link to post Share on other sites
closetPonyfan Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I wouldn't say it is physical nearly as much as emotional for me. There is a physical response to arousal which happens when I fantasize or have close physical contact with the person I love but that is not nearly as noticeable as the emotions that it brings forward within me. I imagine it is very different for everyone, even sexuals. An example of the physical response could be simply getting an erection but it is the emotional feeling that I enjoy. I wish I could put words to it but it is hard to describe. The only word I can find for myself is the feeling of intense love. I feel the same way. I've always associated the act of sex in any form to be the ultimate physical manifestation of of love between two people. The hardest thing for me about being married to an Ace is that I will never be able to share that with her. From what I gather most Sexual - Asexual relationships have some amount of compromise. "I don't actually have any interest in sex but I'll help you find release anyway." kind of thing. But what I think some Asexuals don't understand is that, well for me at least, sex is only about 10% about getting to orgasim, 20% about getting my partner to orgasim,and the remaining 70% is the emotional connection that I feel with her when we're both reveling in each others love. Though I guess I didn't actually answer the question. I've found that for me there are two things that might be classified as sexual attraction. Sometimes it's physical and sometimes it's... Idk if emotional or instinctual would be a better word. Let me give an example. You know that state when you are halfway between awake and asleep, on the walking side? Generally speaking, men have an erection during that state, and for some guys like myself it might also come from being nervous. Anyway I've found that if it lasts for "too long" there is a physical urged to "pop off a shot" sometimes this same feeling can come from seeing someone who looks good wearing a too-short shorr-skirt or from being able to see the outline of their underwear (or lack thereof) when the bend over wearing tight pants. I think that reaction is what gets most sexual men labeled pigs. The other type which I find myself more prone to, does not necessarily involve and erection or any physical response. Just sort of an instinctual drive to want to ejaculated into the person your attracted too. I kinda wonder if it's not generally caused by subconsciously seeing genetic traits in a person. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Just sort of an instinctual drive to want to ejaculated into the person your attracted too. Learn something new every day. I always thought that was a myth. I don't get that at all, unless I'm already masturbating. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 For me, sexual attraction basically feels like a tingling sensation around my genitalia and sometimes as an urge to touch the person who I am attracted to. And as it has been said, those feelings generally get stronger the more time it has been since I last masturbated. Funnily enough, I don't really get any emotional response from my attraction: it's a completely bodily sensation to me. At most I feel somewhat annoyed if those feelings come when I should be concentrating on something important (although they are pretty easy for me to ignore). Link to post Share on other sites
ObsessedWithAnime Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I wouldn't say it is physical nearly as much as emotional for me. There is a physical response to arousal which happens when I fantasize or have close physical contact with the person I love but that is not nearly as noticeable as the emotions that it brings forward within me. I imagine it is very different for everyone, even sexuals. An example of the physical response could be simply getting an erection but it is the emotional feeling that I enjoy. I wish I could put words to it but it is hard to describe. The only word I can find for myself is the feeling of intense love.I feel the same way. I've always associated the act of sex in any form to be the ultimate physical manifestation of of love between two people. The hardest thing for me about being married to an Ace is that I will never be able to share that with her. From what I gather most Sexual - Asexual relationships have some amount of compromise. "I don't actually have any interest in sex but I'll help you find release anyway." kind of thing. But what I think some Asexuals don't understand is that, well for me at least, sex is only about 10% about getting to orgasim, 20% about getting my partner to orgasim,and the remaining 70% is the emotional connection that I feel with her when we're both reveling in each others love. Concerning the percents, I has never made sense to me (Ace) why allosexuals place so much emphasis on how your partner is feeling? I always thought it was more about feeling "in the mood" and sex with a partner feels better than masturbating so why not? Does having your partner feel good heighten your own experience? How does this work? All of this is just so over my head I would really appreciate some attempt of an explanation sorry... and thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
janicecakes Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 I wouldn't say it is physical nearly as much as emotional for me. There is a physical response to arousal which happens when I fantasize or have close physical contact with the person I love but that is not nearly as noticeable as the emotions that it brings forward within me. I imagine it is very different for everyone, even sexuals. An example of the physical response could be simply getting an erection but it is the emotional feeling that I enjoy. I wish I could put words to it but it is hard to describe. The only word I can find for myself is the feeling of intense love.I feel the same way. I've always associated the act of sex in any form to be the ultimate physical manifestation of of love between two people. The hardest thing for me about being married to an Ace is that I will never be able to share that with her. From what I gather most Sexual - Asexual relationships have some amount of compromise. "I don't actually have any interest in sex but I'll help you find release anyway." kind of thing. But what I think some Asexuals don't understand is that, well for me at least, sex is only about 10% about getting to orgasim, 20% about getting my partner to orgasim,and the remaining 70% is the emotional connection that I feel with her when we're both reveling in each others love. ^Ditto this!!!! I wouldn't say it is physical nearly as much as emotional for me. There is a physical response to arousal which happens when I fantasize or have close physical contact with the person I love but that is not nearly as noticeable as the emotions that it brings forward within me. I imagine it is very different for everyone, even sexuals. An example of the physical response could be simply getting an erection but it is the emotional feeling that I enjoy. I wish I could put words to it but it is hard to describe. The only word I can find for myself is the feeling of intense love.I feel the same way. I've always associated the act of sex in any form to be the ultimate physical manifestation of of love between two people. The hardest thing for me about being married to an Ace is that I will never be able to share that with her. From what I gather most Sexual - Asexual relationships have some amount of compromise. "I don't actually have any interest in sex but I'll help you find release anyway." kind of thing. But what I think some Asexuals don't understand is that, well for me at least, sex is only about 10% about getting to orgasim, 20% about getting my partner to orgasim,and the remaining 70% is the emotional connection that I feel with her when we're both reveling in each others love. Concerning the percents, I has never made sense to me (Ace) why allosexuals place so much emphasis on how your partner is feeling? I always thought it was more about feeling "in the mood" and sex with a partner feels better than masturbating so why not? Does having your partner feel good heighten your own experience? How does this work? All of this is just so over my head I would really appreciate some attempt of an explanation sorry... and thank you. If I understand your question right... Ya know when you give someone a birthday present, something you know they wanted, you see them light up upon receiving it and that joy, you feel because they feel it? THAT. Its a feeling of giving someone you love joy and pleasure because you care about them so much you want them to feel wonderful too. Even when nothing is expected in return. It just brings makes you happy to make them happy. Link to post Share on other sites
whocaresthough Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 To me, reading about this makes me so confused! It's like a demon possesses you! And another thing I don't understand: if it's such a natural thing, why do people care if you get pregnant young, if you're a slut Who sleeps around, and so many things? Why does society praise sex when the people tell you not to do it when adults do it all of the time?? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I've never felt what I would call sexual attraction. The closest thing would be my fetish for male reproductive organs :redface: But for actual people? No, never. I define myself as sexual because I innately desire partnered sex. I have not desired it with anyone specific, however. I think this is because I have never been in a relationship, or had a crush that really went anywhere. My desire is directed on emotional grounds rather than physical ones. I do see myself as on the "less sexual" end of the sexual spectrum. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Concerning the percents, I has never made sense to me (Ace) why allosexuals place so much emphasis on how your partner is feeling? I always thought it was more about feeling "in the mood" and sex with a partner feels better than masturbating so why not? Does having your partner feel good heighten your own experience? How does this work? All of this is just so over my head I would really appreciate some attempt of an explanation sorry... and thank you. I'm not even exactly *sexual* even though I have some limited experience with sexually charged situations, but I'm still able to say that YES, you got it exactly right with the bolded part. For me, there is no "solo" experience. Whatever it is I am able to feel is intricately linked with my partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Nazgir Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 To me, reading about this makes me so confused! It's like a demon possesses you! And another thing I don't understand: if it's such a natural thing, why do people care if you get pregnant young, if you're a slut Who sleeps around, and so many things? Why does society praise sex when the people tell you not to do it when adults do it all of the time?? Because society has extremely hypocritical standards. I'm pretty much ok with all of that stuff, aside from teen pregnancy which is not an inherently bad thing but it throws around the life of the girl a lot and usually before she's ready for it, which is also negative for the kid in some cases. Of course that's not always the case, I know someone who was a teen mom and she's done just fine with the help of her friends and family, but that's not always the case. There's this image that a guy has to chase and "conquer" girls, so a guy who has sex with a lot of women is considered successful, while woman who have sex with a lot of guys are "easy" or whatever bullshit. It boils down to "guys are worth more, woman have a second place". That said, I'm not really sure how that works with non-heterosexual sexual relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
fiѕh Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Concerning the percents, I has never made sense to me (Ace) why allosexuals place so much emphasis on how your partner is feeling? I always thought it was more about feeling "in the mood" and sex with a partner feels better than masturbating so why not? Does having your partner feel good heighten your own experience? How does this work? All of this is just so over my head I would really appreciate some attempt of an explanation sorry... and thank you. Imagine you're going somewhere and your partner didn't wanna join... now it's an important event for you, so they agreed for your sake, but you notice (or, know) all along they really don't wanna be there and also will never understand what it means for you. Isn't gonna feel so great, right? If it was just an urge like eating that you act on and then you're satisfied, ok. But I guess for most people, it's a part of a relationship that they wanna share with their partner like anything not sexual you'd wanna experience as a couple. When it's such an "I really wanna eat chocolate now..." kinda urge, I for my part could really "handle" it myself lol. The part of it that's happening in your head is the problem, it's not like sex is just touching the right spots. Now, that's one thing that I'm just guessing is what most allo's would bother. What I personally would really not be okay with is that it's such an intimate thing and I wouldn't wanna get so close to someone who doesn't want it. Idk if that's understandable, but I'd feel like I'm invading them in some way. I'm aware that asexual doesn't equal sex repulsed and many might be perfectly fine with it, but that's a thing I personally am sorta difficult about so idk how others would see that. It would be awkward and not enjoyable at all for me with someone who's indifferent, and if I happened to madly fall in love with someone who's sex averse, then well... night gathers, and now my watch begins. On a side note, yep it's nice in bed to do something for your partner not just for nice innocent emotional reasons lol. I for my part enjoy seeing (/etc) it, idk it's sorta the same box like personality traits you're into... it's a head thing and that's where half of the sex takes place anyway. So yeah, basically, if you can see it like "well if they're okay with it, it's still better than masturbating..." then OK... can't say anything about that since I'd prefer masturbating in that case. But in other situations you'd rather see your partner enjoying themselves with you too, right? And idk how many others are with me on the yeah it's actually kinda hot thing. Link to post Share on other sites
GSOTeacher Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I'm new, I'm a sexual... It's so hard to describe.... When you first meet someone you find attractive there is the first idea, "wow, he is HOT" which brings a warm feeling across my body. Then if you make eye contact and the feeling is mutual, then I'm warm, my skin becomes hypersensitive, and I may even start to become lubricated (I'm female). If such person were to begin talking to me, I would take note --semi consciously, of his scent, tone of voice, etc. If they are pleasing, then all the previous feelings would intensify... If his hand or leg or other body part were to lightly touch mine, it would be electric ! I would start to crave his touch and my body would unconsciously move closer to his. This is what physical desire feels like for me. It just gets BETTER from there. :) :D Link to post Share on other sites
Francoise Wang Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I'm new, I'm a sexual... It's so hard to describe.... When you first meet someone you find attractive there is the first idea, "wow, he is HOT" which brings a warm feeling across my body. Then if you make eye contact and the feeling is mutual, then I'm warm, my skin becomes hypersensitive, and I may even start to become lubricated (I'm female). If such person were to begin talking to me, I would take note --semi consciously, of his scent, tone of voice, etc. If they are pleasing, then all the previous feelings would intensify... If his hand or leg or other body part were to lightly touch mine, it would be electric ! I would start to crave his touch and my body would unconsciously move closer to his. This is what physical desire feels like for me. It just gets BETTER from there. :) :D Hmm, this makes me more confused, because I do experience almost all of these feelings (except for "becoming lubricated") when I meet an attractive person, but I still identify as asexual. Because I consider it "romantic feelings" when I feel all these feelings. But I think these feelings are not exactly what makes sexual people "sexual", because when I have the chance to have sex (not just having physical intamacy, but really to have sex) with the attractive person who makes me feel all these feelings in the right circumstances, I would become unable to have any sexual desire, and also unable to be aroused by that person. So I'm confused because I don't know what is the thing that exactly makes sexual people sexual. If this is all the things sexual people feel when they experience "sexual attraction", but I do experience all these without being able to have arousal or sexual desire (I mean to really desire partnered sex)? Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 :o wow I don't experience any of that lol Link to post Share on other sites
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