Guest Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Asexual, Aromantic, Partnerless, Child-Free… And (Yes!) Happy Author: Julie Sondra DeckerSite: Everyday FeminismDate: April 6, 2015Link: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/04/asexual-aromantic-happy/Originally published on Drunk Monkeys: http://www.drunkmonkeys.us/non-fiction/2015/1/28/asexual-aromantic-partnerless-childless-and-happy “You’ll find the one someday.”So here I am.Female. Asexual. Aromantic. Mid-thirties. Single. Child-free. Happy.And some people I know are convinced that some of those descriptors don’t belong in the same sentence – especially that last one.Gasp! You’re a mid-thirties woman with no partner and no kids, and you dare to call yourself happy? That doesn’t compute.There is, in these people’s minds, a happiness recipe for which I lack vital ingredients.They can still stomach a different version of the recipe as long as they believe I’m using appropriate substitutes; for instance, failing to have a boyfriend or husband at my age is permissible if I’m consumed by a demanding and rewarding career, or if I’m gay and that hypothetical boyfriend or husband becomes a girlfriend or wife.But I’m definitely not cooking properly if I claim to be happy without any kind of sexual or romantic partner, and they definitely won’t deign to swallow what I’m serving – or even let me eat it in peace.So instead of digesting the meal that I’ve prepared with all ingredients prominently displayed –the one I’ve subsisted on for all of my 36 years – these solicitous, confused folks instead project onto me a host of psychological, physical, and emotional problems that I must be suffering from, though sometimes it’s unclear whether they believe my suffering caused my orientation or my orientation caused my suffering.I’m totally not suffering, though, you guys.Can we just stop with the reassuring me that I’ll find a boyfriend? Could we please drop this obsession with my supposed buried distress? Might we admit that the confusion exploding all over this situation isn’t mine?“But I’m worried about your health, dear.”No. No you’re not. Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Amen! 27, partnerless, female, living alone, no children but many cats, partially romantic.... and 100% satisfied with my life (at least as far as relationships are concerned). Link to post Share on other sites
the bumbling rotifer Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Brilliant article. I may print this out and carry it around with me, so that I can present it to anyone I happen to come out to :D Link to post Share on other sites
Vega91 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 This is a great article, though I generally like that site anyway. Here's hoping in ten years I can be as happy with my aromanticism as she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Asterion Orestes Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 What a mob of fools seems to have surrounded her. Link to post Share on other sites
Katniss Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 I needed to read this tonight. It's a good article Link to post Share on other sites
LKR Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I totally relate to the idea of the asexual orientation being blamed on something. I even do it to myself. Link to post Share on other sites
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