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"Friend" Attraction


Susie Applesauce

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Susie Applesauce

I have this vague but strong feeling that isn't romantic or sexual of "oh I like this person and want to spend time with them and be their friend," and it intensifies around certain masculine-identified people. Is there a word for this?

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Janus the Fox
... Friendship?... or just platonic feelings maybe
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Susie Applesauce

Yeah, but it's the "intensifies around certain masculine-identified people" part that's bugging me. Or I'm just very much not a social butterfly and unused to making friends, and it's normal to have different levels of "want to be friends"-ness around different types of people...

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Maybe a squish (a platonic version of a crush). Not quite sure what to say about it being more intense around masculine-identified people... it could just be that you prefer to be friends with masculine people vs. feminine people in general. I haven't heard of an actual label for that. if that's what you're after. Sorry if this isn't much help. :(

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almost alice

Could be a squish or as was said you might just prefer making friends with masculine-identified people. I know that I personally have an easier time being friends with guys or gender-queer individuals as opposed to those who identify as feminine. While I don't do anything to purposefully not become friends with feminine-identified people, I do know that I gravitate toward masculine-identified people because I know I have a better chance of being comfortable with them.

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i'm sure i've seen people attaching orientation prefixes to "platonic" to signify platonic attraction to a certain gender/s. so in your case, i'd humbly suggest "heteroplatonic."

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Yeah I get that. A "squish" or platonic relationship is the sound of it. People who you may or may not find visually attractive (ace-thetic ha) but you really just yearn to be in a friendship with them--in a different way than a regular friendship but in no real different ways. Its confusing. Like when some people are sort of attracted to their friend but don't ever do anything about it, only its slightly mutual and enjoyable.

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WünderBâhr

Moved to the Romantic and Aromantic Orientations forum.

Bipolar Bear

Asexual Q&A Mod

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I think I had similar feelings around my close male friend. I thought it was bordering on romantic (defs not sexual) but I discovered that its 95% just wanting to hang out with him and doing fun stuff. (I did get quite jealous when the attention shifted to his new girlfriend so idk what that is)

It's mostly just undefined though, and I don't mind :)

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