Basic Gray / Aro-Ace Education

[dio]

The trend, as it seems to me, is that most of the info about Asexuality and Aromanticism is just cut and pasted into a new font with a graphic added or something of the like. It's already hard to figure yourself out if you're Double Grey like me, but then those non-Ace friends and family are like "I don't get it...that's stupid." I really have to sort through a ton of sites to rectify if my romantic side is really Gray Aro or full on Aromantic, like I am right now. What I'm arriving at is "Be your own advocate !" "Be a good ambassador!" if it is better treatment you're after. I've posted many times in my own words to educate friends and the like, and haven't let myself become invisible (as much work as that is). I urge as many people out there who read this to post and make graphics of your own about Asexuality Awareness whenever possible and whenever the pre-made media isn't enough ! Thank you for your time -Dio

[Archon]

Good for you for making yourself visible. It's hard for a lot of people on the ace and aro spectrum to do that because they're not out and they don't feel safe making themselves visible, and of course those people should do what makes them feel comfortable. But it's definitely a great thing when aces and aros make themselves visible and others can see that ace and aro spectrum people really exist.

I'd never heard "double grey" to refer to someone who is grey-ace and grey-aro before (that is what it means, right?). I think that's an awesome term. :)

[Star Bit]

Do you mean we need a more specific definition of Gray-romantic or Gray in general?

[dio]

Archon Thank you, I've had the pieces together now of myself orientaion identity wise for about 5 months now. I couldn't take all of my friends trolling and lusting me on my social networking site and got kinda fed up causing me to come out on the social site. My pride friends were the first to recognise it and backed me up. Everyone else either remained oblivious or assumed the black or white world to themselves. I came out to my Mom around then and she was accepting and had intelligent and good questions. She is supportive. Most of the rest of my family is hard headed and they would walk right by the invisible orientation. I mostly wanted family and friends to know of my gray ace/aro orientation so that I could breath a little bit and not have to answer all of the same questions repeatedly. Star Bit The gray spectrum is tricky to understand in general. Sometimes I trick myself out and wonder if I am gray on the romo side or full aro. I always find myself back at square one. Yep, definitely grey on both sexual and romantic orientations. It's interesting how Ace's often find themselves having a deeper understanding of their orientation than one who should be secure by default. This post was intended to refer to contributing to Ace education in the way of a different point of view, in different words, adding info to media that was left out, journal of a personal account on Asexuality, as well as contributions to graphic art and visual aid, including photography and Ace related bio info. Ex: If you are a confident Asexual musician making waves and the info is relevant to the story, get it out there! Someone holding that magazine that might be Ace could benefit big time! Archon Here is the thread where I adopted the term Double Grey from ! :) /http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/116140-i-identify-as-gray-asexual-grayromantic-is-there-1-or-more-shorter-ways-to-say-that/

Archon Yes it is, Double Grey = Gray Ace & Gray Aro :)

[dio]

Re: Asexual Advocacy

I just wrote and posted this to my facebook page minutes ago ...

I feel sorry for all the people that have seen me pass by that don't know that I don't experience romantic attraction, and that I don't experience sexual attraction. It's not that I don't care, it just doesn't have a hold on me and I don't have the instinct to pursue it. I had to be told to start dating (true fact) I have all of the libido function and then some, I'm just pretty much indifferent to the world of romance, dating, and human trophies.Functioning outside of the punch drunk majority, I see the world through sober eyes and it's like "no thanks.." That said, being Gray Asexual & Gray Aromantic is not a choice. Asexuality is not celibacy. Asexuals don't abstain from sex, instead they are by nature "not interested" "not attracted" Gray Ace's can still be "attracted" to another person out of nowhere. It usually doesn't last very long.(Usually not long enough to actually pursue sex/romance) Us Ace's & A-Romo's are super awesome, intelligent, lovable, and creative artists. We love our friends & we enjoy life. Asexuals can experience something similar to a crush which usually doesn't progress into asking someone out (called a squish). As part of the proverbial 1% of the population, I am happy to speak out as an advocate for the asexual community. There are all types of Asexuals out there: Heteromantic, Homoromantic, Biromantic, Aromantic, Grayromantic, etc. Some are single, some dating, some are married. Some are virgins, some are not. Some are sex repulsed, some are o.k with it, while some are touch averted (touch sensitive) Asexuals are intimate people that often prefer to have themselves to keep to themselves, Asexuals are also highly social. It seems sometimes that we're exactly the same as the majority, except for how sex rules society, and the media, and for the fact that they can be judged by family and possibly bullied. It's tough to not have an outlet for that specialized kind of communication. I have found so much information and friendship on the AVEN website www.asexuality.org (AVEN is an acronym for Asexual Visibility and Education Network) The site was designed as a place for Asexuals, their families, and allies to learn, discuss, and even joke around. It's much like facebook in it's popularity. The website is based off of forums and topics. I highly recommend this site for information on Asexuality and to study the Asexual orientation in general. Facebookers: Click the link below smile emoticon

[carmeli]

hi,

I'm also a double gray (I think so...), and i also experience this problem. do you know if there is an explanation about what it means to be a gray-a or gray-aro in AVEN?

thank you,

and sorry if I did a few mistakes in english, I don't speak english very well

[dio]

Yes, I would describe it as almost asexual and almost aromantic but not completely asexual or aromantic. It is within the "gray area" so it can vary from person to person. It is so similar that sometimes I have questioned if I was 100% Asexual or Aromantic. Take your time reading about Asexuality and when you find an identity it will mostly be to understand yourself and how you function.

P.S Your English is excellent ! Learning a 2nd language is not easy, I know this myself.. What is your first language? Do you use an online translator? They can be helpful for vocabulary that is difficult to translate.

Hope this helped ! Have a good day -Dio :)

[carmeli]

Thank you, i'm almost sure that i'm a double gray, but it is difficult to explane to pepole what it means to be almost aca or aro, and if they dp understand what it means for me, they still dont understand what it means for other grays.

[dio]

Hello, carmeli

I know what you mean, and by the way, "Double Grey" is not an official term. I adopted it from a friend here on AVEN who was offering a suggestion on a post I made about shortening the term Gray Ace / Gray Aro into 2 words. I use it amongst fellow Avenites and you are more than welcome to use it too. :) I find it a very useful way to say Gray Ace/ Gray Aro. :)

It is difficult... Just remember what it was like before you knew what it was, and look forward to the friends you will make on here! I really like this website it provides so many answers to your questions. Not everything will seen,understood, or remembered by others. Much of this is to bring comfort and peace to yourself. For example the black ring that Ace's wear is not likely to be recognized anywhere. It mainly serves as a reminder that you are not alone when you feel that you are in a bad place. It serves as a symbol that you are proud of who you are and are a happy person. P.S An Ace ring can be worn by anyone under the Ace spectrum. It is a black ring of any material (you choose) worn on the middle finger of the right hand, and if that is not possible then it is worn on the middle finger of the left hand.

Enjoy your experience on Aven and have a nice day ! :)