madfreddi Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Hi, My name is Fred and I have spent a majority of my life living as a homosexual. Recently, (in the past 4 or 5 years) I have had no sexual attraction whatsoever. I cannot get an erection over another man (or woman) and I'm wondering if you guys think a person's sexuality can change over time... It would be nice if one day I had sexual attraction towards men again, so I could be in a commited relationship, but I sort-of doubt that may ever happen... What do you think? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Archon Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Hey Fred, welcome to AVEN! Yes, sexuality is fluid. People can naturally change from any sexual orientation to any other sexual orientation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vega91 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Welcome to AVEN! Second, sexuality can definitely change over a person's lifetime. That being said, someone's libido or sexual desire suddenly changing can also be due to underlying medical issues, and if your lack of attraction is bothering you, then maybe talking to a LGBT+-friendly doctor could be useful. That's not to say you're not asexual of course, after all only you have the right to decide your orientation. Also, another note, aces can and do have meaningful, committed relationships. Relationships with sexual people do take more work, but are possible. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FoxEars Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Yes, some people have fluid sexualities, others don't. Something to keep in mind, though: I've never experienced any change of sexuality personally, so I suppose I don't really know, but to me -- purely from a linguistic perspective -- 'fluidity' indicates that one's sexuality oscillates between two or more sexual identities, and / or perhaps may sometimes inhabit a sort of 'middle ground' between them, incorporating aspects from them without settling on a clearly-defined one. To me, 'fluidity' indicates that a transition in sexuality occurs relatively frequently, or that one's sexuality is perpetually in a state of flux. So if your sexuality has only changed once in your life, and changed from one clearly-defined sexuality to another, that's not necessarily the same thing as having a 'fluid' sexuality. Of course I'm not saying you don't have a fluid sexuality; no-one but you knows enough about you to make that call. I'm just putting it out there that 'static' and 'fluid' aren't the only two options that exist. ^ FoxEars ^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Someone on this forum, can't remember exactly who, but their profile said that they were heterosexual for about a decade and became ace about 5 years ago. So always possible. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Someone on this forum, can't remember exactly who, but their profile said that they were heterosexual for about a decade and became ace about 5 years ago. So always possible. Here I am. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Hey Fred, welcome to AVEN! Yes, sexuality is fluid. People can naturally change from any sexual orientation to any other sexual orientation. that's your opinion, not necessarily fact. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LostWasteland Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I believe it is. I've gone from only being attracted to females, to only being attracted to males, to being attracted to anyone, to not being attracted to anyone at all. It's fluid for me, I think....Or my romanticism (is that what it's called? Lol) is fluid, at least....I don't recall ever having a desire/strong desire to have sex with people. I was even told, when I was younger (15 or 16, after I came out as bisexual), "You're not sexual. You're just not a sexual person.", and I didn't get what that meant at the time. I just knew I was in love with someone the same sex as me.... Though, it wasn't their place to tell me that. I think sexuality can be fluid. It depends on the person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenaLy Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Some people report having experienced fluid sexual orientations, so it does happen for some people. I think it also may possible for people to have natural changes in libido occur as they age (but I'm no doctor, so take my opinion with a grain of salt). That, to me, would be a natural process of aging rather than a change in one's sexual orientation. I would prefer avoiding the generalization that all sexual orientations are fluid though. In my life, I've encountered this view from a lot of heterosexual people - as a hopeful and misguided view of my romantic/sexual orientation. It's the "You're just a late bloomer, someday you'll meet someone and change your mind" approach to my orientation. I'm now in my 30's and have never once experienced romantic or sexual attraction. I accepted my orientation a long time ago and I think it's safe to say it's not going to change. Moreover, presenting all (minority) sexual orientations as being naturally fluid makes it easier for people who don't accept those sexual orientations to believe it's something people are in control of. If sexuality/orientation is fluid, I'd interpret that as an exception rather than a rule. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mostly Peaceful Ryan Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Yes for some it is for others it isn't really depends on the person. Remember all blanket statements are bad...... always....... every of the times.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I'd say sexuality can be fluid... but in the majority of cases, it isn't and stays solid for years and decades of lifetime. Doesn't make the minority of cases where it does fluidly change over time any less real, though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Busrider Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I believe sexuality is fluid. - I am a similar case like you, although I was hetero. Maybe some folks grow out of the sexual phase the same way we lose interest in childhood toys? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I believe sexuality is fluid, yeah, but I don't believe (for example) those people that say "I used to be straight, and now I'm gay" or whatever. I think your sexuality either has the capacity to be fluid within your own unique confines, or not. People just manage to convince themselves that they are one thing or another (I am certainly guilty of this) before later realising that they had that potential to be attracted (or not) to x, y or z all along. I don't believe people actually up and change from one extreme to the other, they just need something to make them realise that capacity was always there. Pfft. That probably doesn't make sense in the slightest to anyone outside of my brain bubble. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Makes perfect sense to me, disolved IMO life is pretty fluid but that's a different use of the word. Fluid sexuality does exist,but most people it isn't their sexuality that is fluid at all but rather their environment or their self-view. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Yes, some people have fluid sexualities, others don't. Something to keep in mind, though: I've never experienced any change of sexuality personally, so I suppose I don't really know, but to me -- purely from a linguistic perspective -- 'fluidity' indicates that one's sexuality oscillates between two or more sexual identities, and / or perhaps may sometimes inhabit a sort of 'middle ground' between them, incorporating aspects from them without settling on a clearly-defined one. To me, 'fluidity' indicates that a transition in sexuality occurs relatively frequently, or that one's sexuality is perpetually in a state of flux. So if your sexuality has only changed once in your life, and changed from one clearly-defined sexuality to another, that's not necessarily the same thing as having a 'fluid' sexuality. Of course I'm not saying you don't have a fluid sexuality; no-one but you knows enough about you to make that call. I'm just putting it out there that 'static' and 'fluid' aren't the only two options that exist. ^ FoxEars ^ Fluid sexuality as foxy describes it is what I'd expect of fluid sexuality. When we talk about fluid gender, it is describing someone in flux, not someone who was once one way and now another. I'm not saying it can't happen that way, but it would be more likely that one's understanding of themself changes or that they discovered something they had no reason to know before. And there is no shame in that, I can definitely imagine someone who always felt one way and then found they were "wrong" would feel shame. But growth of the self is an expected experience in our life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 It's for some people but not for most people from what I've seen. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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