My Sex Drive Plummeted

[NoodlePan]

Okay, so I am a pansexual and have considered myself sexual and as having a below-average sex drive. Something has been going on for at least a week where i have totally stopped desiring or thinking about sex or even being sexually attracted to other people, including people that I know that I have been sexually attracted to. I will go see a doctor to see what's up if this persists, but I have some interesting observations from my experience.

First I would like to discuss the changes in my experience in dealing with people I know that I am sexually attracted to. How these interactions gain some sexual nature on my part is first with aesthetic attraction then I would figure out if they are enjoyable which is when I would gain some romantic and sexual attraction to them. Since realizing my (temporary?) loss of sexual attraction, I begin to notice how little change in my total interest in them had been effected in its absence. My interests in them had no sudden drops and remains on a steady increase. What was once part-sexual has been transferred to a more romantic-heavy sensation. However, I still seem to still express myself as if I were still experiencing a "firing" sex drive.

As I had continued to be conscious of this phenomenon, I have began to feel depressed as I desire to have sexual desire. It is a pleasuring experience to have an active sex drive and I have had one for quite some time. I have high aesthetic attraction to people and I am used to accompanying that with my sex drive. It feels like I'm missing an experience I have highly valued and I am sort of out of place in my mind. At this point I have just gotten over it and acknowledge that this sucks.

Now I will talk about sexual messages from other people. I prefer to use a specific example of this as it seems to be both iconic and representative of my other experiences of this kind. I was out at a gathering at some people's apartment when the internet went down. I nominated to fix it and so one of the people took me to the modem/router which happened to be between their bed and a wall. I wasn't conscious of it at the time, but they seemed to be acting somewhat playful on their bed as they observed me tending to their internet. Afterwards, after thinking about what they were doing and using my previous experience in having an active sex drive, I realized they were trying to see how I responded to determine pursuing their sexual interest in me. I realized I had messed up because I would've liked to send that message yet didn't notice the opportunity. I tried to recover this by (slightly) romanticizing the way I saw them off as they went to bed, but the opportunity I missed is kind of determinant.

And now I'll talk about masturbation. Before, masturbation was some sort of task I did to satisfy my sex drive 4-5 times a week. It was inconvenient then but it was somewhat nice. I "forced" an arousal so I could masturbate and it was a totally empty and (in not annoying) indifferent experience. This is the only time I've tried to masturbate since the fall of my sex drive and I am not so sure I will be trying again until my sex drive is going off again. I thought it might be able to "boot-up" my sex drive but it only reaffirmed that it has plummeted.

This is the weirdest thing. Discuss, ask questions, dance, it's all cool.

[Angeliss]

That is... incredibly interesting. I've experienced sexual attraction twice in my life. I still don't count myself as a gray ace, because it lasted all of three seconds, but I do have the unique perspective of knowing what is feels like, when many aces don't. And because it's something a lot of us don't experience, we wonder what we're missing out on.

I hope all is well with you, and it's an easy fix.