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Steph Ace

Asexual Men Musings

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tarutaru

I enjoy a good sex joke here and there. But I really don't get why if some everyday word has been co-opted as sexual terminology how it's instantly funny if I use the word in its normal context. It's like allosexual can't help themselves and have to make the joke or giggle.

When I was younger I thought other guys were just being immature, but I now realise adults do it all the time too. Super annoying.

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Sleighcaptain

I have pre-pubertal onset androgen deficiency, the physical stigmata of which are all too apparent. This is why it took me a long time to consider asexuality. I always thought that I had hang-ups due to the above. It has certainly been socially debilitating, I gave up rugby and football because I could not bring myself to share a communal shower.

Whilst Ace I have an extremely smutty sense of humour and love a blue gag.

My view on females is this. Nicely attired and presented they are eye-catching. In a bikini they are so-so. Naked, they are a threat. I once made the mistake of attending a gentleman's smoking evening, and a stark naked female wrapping certain parts around my ears did absolutely nothing for me. The friend I was with actually commented as to why I just sat there, but I just felt uncomfortable and thought "what am I doing here "?

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IBendTheLine

"My view on females is this. Nicely attired and presented they are eye-catching. In a bikini they are so-so. Naked, they are a threat."

Agreed.

Something that I've run into involves the fact that asexuals can still find things anasthetic....acetonic....aesthetifc. whatever you know the word--pleasing, mainly people. I bring it up because some people who know that I consider myself asexual assumed that I was literally all about the personality in terms of dating. This was implied with "More hot ones for us" as a remark from one of them. Another had said that if I was asexual, why do I seem to take all the pretty ones for myself?

I just found these encounters strange yet somehow funny (can one find amusement and insult from the same comment at the same time?), and thought I'd share them.

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Steph Ace

"My view on females is this. Nicely attired and presented they are eye-catching. In a bikini they are so-so. Naked, they are a threat."

Agreed.

Something that I've run into involves the fact that asexuals can still find things anasthetic....acetonic....aesthetifc. whatever you know the word--pleasing, mainly people. I bring it up because some people who know that I consider myself asexual assumed that I was literally all about the personality in terms of dating. This was implied with "More hot ones for us" as a remark from one of them. Another had said that if I was asexual, why do I seem to take all the pretty ones for myself?

I just found these encounters strange yet somehow funny (can one find amusement and insult from the same comment at the same time?), and thought I'd share them.

The word is aesthetic. Also...

Hi Ren!

Love,

Ren

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Hobbes!

"My view on females is this. Nicely attired and presented they are eye-catching. In a bikini they are so-so. Naked, they are a threat."

Agreed.

Something that I've run into involves the fact that asexuals can still find things anasthetic....acetonic....aesthetifc. whatever you know the word--pleasing, mainly people. I bring it up because some people who know that I consider myself asexual assumed that I was literally all about the personality in terms of dating. This was implied with "More hot ones for us" as a remark from one of them. Another had said that if I was asexual, why do I seem to take all the pretty ones for myself?

I just found these encounters strange yet somehow funny (can one find amusement and insult from the same comment at the same time?), and thought I'd share them.

Well, for my part the more I like someone, the more things I find to like about their appearance. I've never had chance to test it, but I assume this would eventually extend to the sexy bits

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marki

Man club!!!!!!!!

Yay!!!!!! So...anyone else finally feel comfortable farting again? Around all these ladies I've been having to hold it in and it really was starting to hurt!

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Nevyn

I've never *not* felt comfortable farting.

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Alphaprocess

Are there less asexual men than women? I guess I always assumed the asexual community was half women half men.

Based upon the 2014 AVEN Survey (page 6). The statistics are as follows for Aces:

Woman/Female: 62%

Other: 26.1%

Man/Male: 11.9%

EDIT: Arghh! Diamond with the lightning reflexes!

That's a remarkable stat. The only other place I've heard of where Other outnumber Male is AO3 (Archive Of Our Own, a fan fiction community website) and I am at a total loss to explain why that would be. Considering I started writing in my teens by writing fanfic based around TV shows I liked.

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Dennis Bergkamp

I enjoy a good sex joke here and there. But I really don't get why if some everyday word has been co-opted as sexual terminology how it's instantly funny if I use the word in its normal context. It's like allosexual can't help themselves and have to make the joke or giggle.

When I was younger I thought other guys were just being immature, but I now realise adults do it all the time too. Super annoying.

This. Exactly. Couldn't put it better.

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Dennis Bergkamp

It's ludicrous that the world is so backward on this subject. Among men, whenever I express dissent when the conversation turns to females, their immediate response is to think I'm purposefully being rebellious.

I mean, I gel well with males for the most part, but when they get sexual, so to say, and start to comment on women, it's hard to endure. No class. No respect. And when I don't participate in the conversation, suddenly I'm gay, because that's the closest they've come to understanding the concept.

I've tried to let a couple of people know that I was a "nothing" (I didn't know the "asexual" term, this was pre-AVEN). And I don't exaggerate when I say they didn't believe me at all. Like, the concept was entirely alien to them. It just can't exist.

I'm not ashamed of who I am - in fact I'm really glad with the way I turned out, but the only reason keeping me from declaring my orientation is that no one would take me seriously.

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SMW22792

So to get things started I'd like to find out if other make asexuals find it difficult to be among other men who are sexual.

The sexual nature itself doesn't affect me, it's when the topic of sex comes up, or what they'd consider "hot" in someone. Then I feel completely out of place. Usually I end up spacing out until the topic changes to something I can relate to.

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RobPal

So to get things started I'd like to find out if other male asexuals find it difficult to be among other men who are sexual.

The sexual nature itself doesn't affect me, it's when the topic of sex comes up, or what they'd consider "hot" in someone. Then I feel completely out of place. Usually I end up spacing out until the topic changes to something I can relate to.

Yep, me too although I'm starting to be more obvious in my disregard for thinking sexually when other guys are talking that way about women. I think that my asexuality has enabled me to see things more objectively where sexual equality is concerned, so I have to bite my lips sometimes in order to not cause a fuss and have to come out to friends and explain it all to them with the loooong conversation that's inevitable. I'm hoping that by being more obvious in my disinterest of anything sexual, that they will eventually figure it out themselves and come to terms with it before asking me out right. Until then I will just continue being subtly asexual with my friends.

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Cali_Guy

Why are people scared to be males? I believe males are misunderstood. Which is a part of the reason that some people are scared. A a socalled male.. I would not fit in with other males. Other then playing chess. I avoid males.

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Nevyn

Why are people scared to be males? I believe males are misunderstood. Which is a part of the reason that some people are scared. A a socalled male.. I would not fit in with other males. Other then playing chess. I avoid males.

I don't think I've ever been afraid to be male, but I understand why some are hesitant to identify as male in some social circles. On one hand, we have pressure from other males to behave and act in a certain way that meets their expectations and on the other hand we have social pressure from other circles in society to behave an entirely different way that meets their expectations. It all ends up feeling like I'm walking on glass. Eventually I've just developed an IDGAF attitude when it comes to meeting others expectations about what *I* should act like. And that seems to piss off everybody.

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Hobbes!

Why are people scared to be males? I believe males are misunderstood. Which is a part of the reason that some people are scared. A a socalled male.. I would not fit in with other males. Other then playing chess. I avoid males.

I don't think I've ever been afraid to be male, but I understand why some are hesitant to identify as male in some social circles. On one hand, we have pressure from other males to behave and act in a certain way that meets their expectations and on the other hand we have social pressure from other circles in society to behave an entirely different way that meets their expectations. It all ends up feeling like I'm walking on glass. Eventually I've just developed an IDGAF attitude when it comes to meeting others expectations about what *I* should act like. And that seems to piss off everybody.

Yeah ... sometimes I have to stop myself from apologising for men who are jerks and stop myself getting defensive over being cis-male all at the same time. Add to that the pressure of pretending to be straight as well and sometimes it's just too much. Fortunately I can more or less stay away from "walking on eggshells" situations.

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Sleighcaptain

Why does it take females sooo long to visit the bathroom?

Been stood here waiting for my cousin for about 15 minutes

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Nevyn

Because they have couches in there for taking naps.

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DiEvAl

Because they have couches in there for taking naps.

Really? I should go there and take a nap on one of the couches! But I'm not sure if I should move the couch into men's bathroom first. What's more frowned upon: sleeping in opposite gender bathroom, or stealing furniture? :D

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Rwkropf

Because they have couches in there for taking naps.

Really? I should go there and take a nap on one of the couches! But I'm not sure if I should move the couch into men's bathroom first. What's more frowned upon: sleeping in opposite gender bathroom, or stealing furniture? :D

I'd say the former would be more frowned upon. Besides, you could make it easier on the rest of us if you bring a couch to us.

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AsexuallyME

Try bleeding nonstop from your vagina 5 days a month EVERY month for the VAST MAJORITY of your ENTIRE LIFE and THEN and ONLY THEN do you get to make ANY comments about "how long it takes us to go to the bathroom."... #JustSayin'...

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RoninA

Why are people scared to be males? I believe males are misunderstood. Which is a part of the reason that some people are scared. A a socalled male.. I would not fit in with other males. Other then playing chess. I avoid males.

I don't think I've ever been afraid to be male, but I understand why some are hesitant to identify as male in some social circles. On one hand, we have pressure from other males to behave and act in a certain way that meets their expectations and on the other hand we have social pressure from other circles in society to behave an entirely different way that meets their expectations. It all ends up feeling like I'm walking on glass. Eventually I've just developed an IDGAF attitude when it comes to meeting others expectations about what *I* should act like. And that seems to piss off everybody.

I can relate to this. Maybe it's age, but I don't feel peer pressure, and I don't give any ground about how 'male' I am. Even before I knew I was ace, and was taking shit of sorts for being a 30-something virgin, I never caved. The numbers don't make them right...

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marki

Try bleeding nonstop from your vagina 5 days a month EVERY month for the VAST MAJORITY of your ENTIRE LIFE and THEN and ONLY THEN do you get to make ANY comments about "how long it takes us to go to the bathroom."... #JustSayin'...

Wait......so girls having periods is the reason why all of them are standing in the line for the bathroom? I'm glad I don't have girl parts, I'd not be able to deal with that. You should try having to deal with a stupid tube that has a mind of its own and likes to just get hard for no reason. Nothing is more fun than random hard ons!

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Hobbes!

Try bleeding nonstop from your vagina 5 days a month EVERY month for the VAST MAJORITY of your ENTIRE LIFE and THEN and ONLY THEN do you get to make ANY comments about "how long it takes us to go to the bathroom."... #JustSayin'...

Wait......so girls having periods is the reason why all of them are standing in the line for the bathroom? I'm glad I don't have girl parts, I'd not be able to deal with that. You should try having to deal with a stupid tube that has a mind of its own and likes to just get hard for no reason. Nothing is more fun than random hard ons!

For some reason I've experienced that less and less since I started identifying as asexual

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marki

Well...yeah...I stopped having them once I no longer was in school......anyone else always amazed that the moment you pop one was when you'd be called to write something on the board?

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Steph Ace

While I giggled at the couches in the washroom jokes, lets avoid this thread turning into a 'battle of the sexes' thread ("Who has it worse" scenario).

Please continue the discussion but be more conscious of the word choice.

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marki

I'll say what I want.

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Rwkropf
You should try having to deal with a stupid tube that has a mind of its own and likes to just get hard for no reason. Nothing is more fun than random hard ons!

Especially on long road trips with bumpy roads.

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nerdperson777

Try bleeding nonstop from your vagina 5 days a month EVERY month for the VAST MAJORITY of your ENTIRE LIFE and THEN and ONLY THEN do you get to make ANY comments about "how long it takes us to go to the bathroom."... #JustSayin'...

Wait......so girls having periods is the reason why all of them are standing in the line for the bathroom? I'm glad I don't have girl parts, I'd not be able to deal with that. You should try having to deal with a stupid tube that has a mind of its own and likes to just get hard for no reason. Nothing is more fun than random hard ons!

I don't believe that to be the reason. It might be more on the having to wait for a stall and having to wipe sort of it. The only time I take a long time is that my bladder is too strong and doesn't know when to release. And a possible TMI portion:

When I was very young, there was an incident where I was feeling uncomfortable and my parents didn't know why. I was told that I then later peed for like 2 minutes straight. So I naturally hold very well. Sometimes I have to sit there for a couple minutes and tell my bladder, okay let go..

Also I think it's really inconvenient to have to use the bathroom when I could be doing other things more productive. Sometimes I forget to use the bathroom when I intended 8 hours before.

I have records for longest time without number 1 and number 2 that I keep track of in my head.

I took a challenge two years ago in which I took a midterm on a full bladder. Survived, and then the closest bathroom was closed.

But now I take pride in using gender neutral bathrooms. I like how they never have a line. :P

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EMPrise

I have records for longest time without number 1 and number 2 that I keep track of in my head.

(TMI continued)

Haha, mine is 2 days less 1 h 15 min for #1, I don't keep track of #2 but I think the record was easily over 2-3 weeks for it.

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marki

I've never used an airplane bathroom.....and I've gone back and forth to Europe twice!

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