A = Ally?

[chisaki]

"GLAAD, an internationally renowned LGBT rights organization, created a campaign called “Got your back” with the tagline “A is for Allies”. At AVEN we hugely value the role that allies play in our community and in the wider LGBTQ+ movement. However, “A” stands for Asexual, Aromantic and Agender people as well as Allies."

Hi guys! It's been a while since I've been able to really have time to come on and browse the forums, yknow, school and work and life and all. But I was thinking about asexuality a lot today, and decided I should check back in on the forums and get back to interacting with everyone!

The first thing I see upon coming back to aven, however, is a post referencing the time GLAAD referred to the "A" in LGBTQA+ as allies. I remember this fiasco pretty clearly, and I know eventually they restated that it stands for asexual, aromantic, and agender.. But on the front page of aven they included it also stands for allies.........which is a bit offputting.

Like...why does it also have to be for allies? Why should allies (who I am assuming are cis, heterosexual people who support the lgbtqa+ movement and the people involved) be included under the A....this isn't their movement or their group to belong to?

It's like if the whole class of kids had an only an apple for lunch and one kid had a supreme super awesome box lunch (without an apple)...and giving the kid with the supreme box lunch an apple too just so they can feel like a part of the group. Don't allies have enough acceptance in every aspect of life....why do they need to be 'accepted' by a group of people that essentially they are oppressing? Shouldn't they just say they are allies to the movement and people and be ok with that alone? Why do they have to have their own slot in the group that isn't even theirs? Like yes their help and platform is appreciated but...that doesn't mean they need their own seat at the round table. The whole point of having a separate group is to, well, be separate in a community that (hopefully) understands the struggles faced by being lgbtqa+ and for others to help each other and discuss their experiences (much like what we do here on aven)....so....why are they saying allies are included under the A? Some factions of the lgbtqa+ community don't even get their own letter in the acronym...do allies have more claim to a spot than actual lgbtqa+ people who are only reduced to somewhere under the +?

At least, that's how I generally feel about it. What are your thoughts about this? And sorry if this subject has already been brought up, like I said it's been a while since I last logged in and I was curious as to whether anyone else thought this wording was....kind of a suck up in order to appease allies...? if I dare even say that

[JustJordan]

I don't like the A standing for allies. It was put there not only for the aces, but the aros and the agenders as well. Allies help support us, but they are not part of who the movement is for which is why they don't get a letter in the acronym

[Mycroft is Yourcroft]

EDIT: Oops :P

In response though, I'd say that allies deserve recognition too. Some of them put in hours and hours of work organising events for LGBTQ+ people, or work in conjunction with them, some write articles about Queer issues that will be seen by hundreds of thousands of people, some step up and do not tolerate Queerphobic behaviour when they see it happening.

No, they may not have been oppressed in the same way, but the LGBTQ+ should be about providing support, increasing acceptance and visibility, and forging a community. Meaning, it makes perfect sense for allies to be included and share the 'A' with asexuality, aromanticism, and agender identities.

[BusTotem]

Sure they deserve recognition. But they don't get to be in the acronym, for the same reason that feminist cis men never get the ability to say "I am a woman" and white people don't get to say "I'm a Person of Color now!" They can stop being an ally at any time and the heat will melt off of them like it was never there. We? Can't.

[Mycroft is Yourcroft]

I think the answer depends on whether you see the acronym as an exclusive club where you only get to join if you've been oppressed enough, or a positive community movement that strives for better acceptance and tolerance in society.

[BusTotem]

You can have it be the latter and still agree that cis people don't get to take ownership of the label, because that's ridiculous.

[Robin L]

I think the answer depends on whether you see the acronym as an exclusive club where you only get to join if you've been oppressed enough, or a positive community movement that strives for better acceptance and tolerance in society.

This is very much my idea of activism, which is pulling the minority up, instead of pulling the others down. To achieve this, we have to work with allies. I hope that one day, the word "ally" wouldn't even be necessary, since everyone accepts every orientation, but that day has still to come. For now, let's stick to getting more allies rather than offending them.

EDIT: I don't mind allies sharing the letter A. I only feel annoyed when allies claim it's the only meaning of the letter.

[BusTotem]

It's the implication that cis allies can become part of the minority I take offense to. Feminist men don't have any need to become women to be supportive. Allies don't need to become 'honorary minorities' to help. There isn't any reason for them to be included in the acronym. It doesn't encourage them or anything, it just erases us.

[Robin L]

How would sharing the label with allies erase us? We get erased anyway, and this is just an excuse. Heck, people could erase us by simply throwing out the letter A.

[Kisrah]

It's been bugging me since I started seeing people saying things like "A is for asexual, not for ally". I posted about this in reponse to a post on r/asexuality yesterday.

Someone made good points about why it shouldn't stand for ally, but I still feel like the phrasing is trying to push allies aside. Whether we all share the A or not, people who support MOGAI groups, and especially those who make a real effort to help, deserve appreciation for that.

Can't we just place emphasis on getting the right "A" people recognised without mentioning allies at all? The "...not for Ally" phrasing feels like people are saying to allies "You're not needed" (not the intention, I'm sure, but it comes across that way). Personally, I'm happy to share the A with those who support us. As long as all the appropriate groups are recognised, and "Ally" isn't the first thing people associate with the A.

[R_1]

The reason why A isn't always recognized as asexual is that not lgbtq heard of them, and not every asexuals wishes to be associated with them (Source:See threads related to lbgtqa and asexuality).

[Skycaptain]

"A" is just a letter. In this case it need not be a definition at all. Just let it be a catch-all letter for any individual who supports or participates in generating universal acceptance of all orientations, genders, et al.

[Dodecahedron314]

This is part of the reason it would make life a lot easier if MOGAI was the acronym used. It won't "keep getting longer", it doesn't erase anybody if you don't feel like making it longer because, well, it doesn't get longer in the first place, and there's no debate over who gets what letter because each one is a category rather than one specific group. It's even nice and pronounceable rather than having to spell the whole thing out.

[TheWheatOne]

Put a C in there for Celibacy and/or Chastity, and M for Marriageless (or maybe S for Single-at-Heart)?) and we have a deal. Until then I'll simply regard myself as an other that they don't care for, or continue to berate, as has been the case for me. There are others too, with adult consensual incest and polygamy, that are obviously not accepted, so those who do them must be kept in secret (or have their own show on TLC).

Basically, I don't put much stock in the LGBT names anymore. There's been a lot of in-fighting too, with which ones are the biggest victims, those who split party lines, and those who want alternative lifestyles vs traditional ones (some hate marriage and actually don't care to vote for it being legal). Its a huge mess, and I'd actually be afraid to see them speaking for me, given how little they understand or accept my views. They've shown a very hostile side when I browsed articles and themes about asexuality, and I don't see that changing for a long time.

[Cheerful]

I've been politically active for 50 years, but I don't expect to see my head carved into Rushmore. A = Asexual.

[Artistofnoname]

I would personally rather not the lumpped into the LGBT category. We are nothing like them. Plus they are starting to tick me off with there increasingly militaristic ways of trumping on the rights of others and hypocrisy.

We should just have our own category. They are sexual we are asexual. Big difference if you think about it.

[chisaki]

Thanks for all the responses! I'm gonna be real and say I haven't really considered some of the points for including Allies under the A, and all the points you have made do shine some light on the subject a bit more for me. I think personally I still see it as allies butting in and trying to take credit for 'helping the movement' which really when it boils down to it is just.....being a decent accepting person...and it seems kind of excessive to be patting their backs by giving them space in the acronym.

That being said I definitely never thought of just...ignoring the acronyn before? Especially because it isn't all inclusive (and really how can it be without getting excessive, unless we start using MOGAI or something similar more often). I never realized so many people just flat out reject wanting to be a part of the lgbtqa+ community, but I definitely do understand the reasoning behind it, and why fight for representation in an already huge group that's dominated by select identities (I'm mainly thinking of homosexual here because most of the only people I know irl solely think lbgt is..only about gay people lmao)...when we could just have our own group. Honestly, that sounds perfectly fine to me :0

[binary suns]

I think it is important to recognize allies but much more important to recognize the actual members of a community. An ally is an ally - when the US became allies with China no one thought that all Americans were Chinese or something... and no one needed to say "The United States of America and Allies" to remember that an alliance had been formed...