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Okay, Now I'm Confused (Grey-aromantic/WTFromantic)


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So, I was pretty sure and somewhat confident with defining my romantic identity with grey-aromantic simply because I rarely, extremely rarely, experience romantic attraction. However, that has changed after I read this.

Gray-aromantics may: rarely experience romantic attraction, experience romantic attraction but feel repulsed by romantic relationships and never actually want to get involved in them, experience a kind of emotional attraction that cannot easily be defined as “romantic” or “nonromantic,” want queerplatonic or other gray-area relationships regardless of their attraction experience.

WTFromantic” is a term coined in the asexual community out of frustration with the whole “What is romantic attraction and how is it different from emotional attraction?” mystery. It basically describes people who can’t tell the difference between romantic attraction and nonromantic emotional attraction at all, not even enough to say “I’m definitely aromantic” as opposed to “I’m definitely romantic.” The whole concept of romantic attraction/love vs. nonromantic feelings/friendship just doesn’t compute to WTFromantic people, so they give up trying to figure it out and put themselves in an aromantic or romantic identity box.

Rarely experience romantic attraction? Check. Repulsed by romantic relationships and never actually want to get involved in them? No. I'm not repulsed by romantic relationships at all and I actually do want to be involved in one someday. I may not be seeking it out, but I'm quite sure that has nothing to do with my romantic identity. There are other factors playing a part in that: I'm a teenager who graduates next year, I should be focusing on myself and my future right now and I really don't have time for a relationship.

I could kind of relate to the description of what it says about WTFromantic. I mean, I've said several times that I have had romantic attraction once or twice in my life. I use the "or" because I was kind of confuse rather or not it was really romantic attraction I felt there. I wasn't sure if it was a romantic crush or just a squish.

Now that I think about it, was this site that I quoted even reliable for information about this? I have noticed that some sites that mention anything in the asexual/aromantic spectrum is quite flawed. Anyways, I'm asking for some more understanding between these two romantic identities and "de-confuse" me. :lol: Thanks!

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I'm probably not the greatest person to respond here because I'm pretty new to this as well. You sound like you are identifying as something simililar to myself which I am pretty sure is just 'grey romantic', and not 'grey aromantic'. From what I have read, being grey romantic means that you are:

  • Open to having a romantic relationship, but it probably wont happen.
  • Susceptible to rarely change your position on your romantic standing.

Please correct me if I am wrong, still trying to make sense of all of this myself. ^.^

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I'm probably not the greatest person to respond here because I'm pretty new to this as well. You sound like you are identifying as something simililar to myself which I am pretty sure is just 'grey romantic', and not 'grey aromantic'. From what I have read, being grey romantic means that you are:

  • Open to having a romantic relationship, but it probably wont happen.
  • Susceptible to rarely change your position on your romantic standing.

Please correct me if I am wrong, still trying to make sense of all of this myself. ^.^

I originally thought that there was some kind of greyness scale. Since I experience romantic attraction so rarely, I thought that I leaned more to being aromantic than romantic. I thought it was similar to terms such as grey-sexual and grey-asexual and I have read that they were actually the same thing. What you said makes sense though, but I'm still confused about the whole romantic orientations in general.

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"WTFromantic" is simply a subset of grey-romantic. Grey-romantics all have different experiences shown by the diversity of conditions shown in the definition. You just need one of these conditions to be grey-romantic, not all of them, and if you're WTFromantic, you're a type of grey-romantic anyway.

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I'm probably not the greatest person to respond here because I'm pretty new to this as well. You sound like you are identifying as something simililar to myself which I am pretty sure is just 'grey romantic', and not 'grey aromantic'. From what I have read, being grey romantic means that you are:

  • Open to having a romantic relationship, but it probably wont happen.
  • Susceptible to rarely change your position on your romantic standing.

Please correct me if I am wrong, still trying to make sense of all of this myself. ^.^

I originally thought that there was some kind of greyness scale. Since I experience romantic attraction so rarely, I thought that I leaned more to being aromantic than romantic. I thought it was similar to terms such as grey-sexual and grey-asexual and I have read that they were actually the same thing. What you said makes sense though, but I'm still confused about the whole romantic orientations in general.

I agree. There is not really an official definition for anything which makes things a little complicated. Oh well u.u guess we just have to try and figure it out. Research cake: :cake:

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TaminSweets

Gray-romantics may: rarely experience romantic attraction, experience romantic attraction but feel repulsed by romantic relationships and never actually want to get involved in them, experience a kind of emotional attraction that cannot easily be defined as “romantic” or “nonromantic,” want queerplatonic or other gray-area relationships regardless of their attraction experience.

WTFromantic” is a term coined in the asexual community out of frustration with the whole “What is romantic attraction and how is it different from emotional attraction?” mystery. It basically describes people who can’t tell the difference between romantic attraction and nonromantic emotional attraction at all, not even enough to say “I’m definitely aromantic” as opposed to “I’m definitely romantic.” The whole concept of romantic attraction/love vs. nonromantic feelings/friendship just doesn’t compute to WTFromantic people, so they give up trying to figure it out and put themselves in an aromantic or romantic identity box.

I was kind of confused rather or not it was really romantic attraction I felt there kind of relate to the description of what it says about WTFromantic. I wasn't sure if it was a romantic crush or just a squish.

- As what people have already pointed out, WTFromantic is sometimes considered a sub catergory in grey-romantic. That being said, Look at what I bolded in the definitions and your answers. Then go back and look at the underlined. Food for thought when you think about your orientation. you've always sounded WTFromantic to me when I hear you describe romantic orientation.....

And you could possibly be both,Though maybe I am wrong considering I recently heard the term as well. :redface: Just remember I don't know you well, and you know your feelings better. only you can decide.That being said, here is your thinking cake! :cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake:

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Gray is an umbrella term, its definition wasn't listing must haves but different types with each comma. It's anything between having the attraction and not having the attraction/having elements of both or at different times. Gray-aromantic and Gray-romantic are just used to emphasize which side of the spectrum you fall more toward. Though Gray-Asexual and Gray-Romantic are more commonly used and aren't always used to depict which side they're more on.

WTFromantic is also called Quoiromantic out of an obvious need for a name change.

It's been a while for me too; in feeling romantic attraction, and I've wondered if i did in fact have it. Memories fade and i can't really recall my emotions that well; it's been years. But atm, unless I'm proven otherwise at some point, I'm not changing my orientation.

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mywoundedknee

None of this is hard science (although professionals have attempted to study it), therefore definitions and labels are largely accepted through personal/individual agreement or general/popular consensus, so don't worry too much about it as it's best to accept yourself and your own personal feelings (for what they are, whatever they may be).

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(my romantic identity, platoniromantic, is quite similar to wtfromantic.)

first off, i tend to use greyromantic in two different ways: either as a very general blanket term for anything on the spectrum between aro and romantic, or to describe someone who occasionally feels romantic attraction. this is just my perception as a non-greyromantic person; greyromanticism (and greysexuality) is of course a lot more nuanced.

anyway, wtfromantic could be (and generally is) considered a subset of greyromanticism by the first definition, in a "square is a rectangle" sort of way. (i won't say that it's universally considered a subset of greyromanticism. i think of it as something that people decide for themselves; personally, i consider myself more aro than greyro, but that's a conversation for another time.)

the second definition, though, is definitely different from wtfromantic. wtfromantics don't experience the difference between intense platonic feelings and romantic ones- it's just a big confusing jumbly mess of emotion. however, greyromantics (under the second definition) would feel a contrast between their platonic and romantic feelings; they would know when they're feeling romantic attraction, and when they're not.

good luck with figuring this out!

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Thanks everybody for helping me out and understanding the terms a bit better. I've been doing a bit more research and have actually found some threads here on AVEN that was quite similar to what I've been questioning. Though, those threads were from like 2-3 years ago. It's quite interesting, what between how most of those in the grey-romantic area can differentiate between their romantic attractions and platonic attractions, I can say that I really feel like wtfromantic (or quoiromantic, which I admit does sound better) fits me very well. Still though, before I decide to change my romantic identity, I want to do a bit more research and think about it some more. Again, thanks everyone! :)

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