Jump to content

Hello! :) Anyone cares to give some advice?


Autumn Season

Recommended Posts

Autumn Season

Hello, nice people!

I'm new here, but already so glad to have found this forum. :) I am thinking that maybe I am asexual and... the more I think about it the better it sounds. :D Like I have finally found myself.

So... Not sure, if anyone cares, but I'll tell a bit - or a lot - about my (a)sexual experience now. Nothing graphic, no worries.

I am a woman in my twenties and I always had "crushes", like... in kindergarten (1), in primary and secondary school (2), and in university (2). All in all I liked five different boys, so I considered myself heterosexual. Sometimes I liked their looks, but most of the time I loved their behaviour. I found them charming.

In recent years men sometimes approached me, because they found me attractive. And I didn't dislike them either, they were all very nice people. However as soon as we started doing anything sexual, anything more than cuddling, I started feeling very bored. And that usually led to conflicting situations: At some point I just had to tell them that they better stop, and they had this desperate look on their face and I was like so sorry, but... But I have this rule for myself, that I won't do anything, that doesn't feel right. I like to try new things and experiment, but there is a limit to everything.

So I figured, maybe I haven't found the right person yet. Maybe I'm just inexperienced and only people, who already had sex before, can feel sexually attracted to other people. Maybe I should have sex anyhow. Maybe everyone felt like this as a virgin and the first time isn't supposed to feel good anyway. But it will get better. Maybe society doesn't care about what I want. I will be the weird one, if I don't have sex and thus in the future don't have a hubby and don't start a family. Maybe I should care less about what feels right or wrong to me currently and trust more in what society says is supposed to make me happy.

Which leads me to the next topic: Family. I actually think that family is important and I definitely wouldn't mind starting one. However I see it more like an option. Sometimes I talk to my mother about what I feel and want in my future and in my sex life. Yes, we are that close. No, it's not embarrassing. This is where I find that her views are quite opposite to what my friends are saying. My mum actually thinks that sex is not necessary for girls and even attraction towards the partner is not important. So far so good. However she definitely wants me to start my own family. (She even said it would be egoistic of me not to, which I don't quite understand.) So... I am supposed to have sex with my partner, even if I don't want to? I am supposed to share my life with a person whom I don't find attractive? I feel like there is something wrong with this. Or does every woman have to live this way? (Which wouldn't make it better IMO.).

My friends on the other handside question that I don't like sexual activities. They sometimes ask me if I am lesbian. There's nothing rong with being a lesbian, but I honestly don't think that I am. So it seems like my friends feel good when kissing and doing other things. So it seems to be possible. And if this is possible... shouldn't it be possible for me, too? Am I just not "used to enjoying it"?

A couple of weeks ago I started dating this guy. I found him on a dating app, recommended to me by my friends. I like him, we have fun talking, I trust and respect him, he's practically all I ever wanted as a potential partner. He also likes me back: As a human being as well as a woman. However there are two problems: 1st I don't feel attracted towards him. I like his looks, but there is no attraction. 2nd going any farther than cuddling with him bores me. And that is the biggest problems, which goes along with other problems. I want to show him, that I desire him, in order to make him happy, but that would be a lie. I don't mind petting and I actually let him touch me, since he likes it. However the more I give, the more he wants. It's like I am so worried the whole time that the moment I tell him "stop", he will have physical pain, since he didn't find any relief. Furthermore when he invites me to his place, my mood drops immediately, because I know that that's where we'll do the "boring stuff". I feel like there are so many fun things we can do together. - Why don't we do those instead. And I also feel bad about refusing. So... right now I am not sure, that we as a couple can work out.

I found youtube videos about asexuality, while I was trying to figure out, what to do with my potential boyfriend. I still don't know, how to solve all of my problems. But! I already feel a lot less social pressure and consequently I feel way happier. It's like the day I finally left school to go to university. The same kind of relieved sensation. xD Haha.

I wonder if anyone read my post until here. xD If you are such a cool and caring person, that you made it this far, I would like to ask you about your opinion. Is it likely that I am asexual? And do you have any advice for an "A"-newbie?

Lots of love from Germany!

Autumn

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Autumn, and welcome to AVEN :cake: cake is a tradition here!

No one can tell you if you are asexual or not, but there are definitely many people in this forum that can relate to how you feel :)

Have you talked to your partner about your feelings? I know it can sound scary because he may feel hurt, but communication is the key to any relationship, and the sooner this is discussed the better. Make sure you explain things carefully, and how you've never been attracted to anyone so hat he doesn't think you just don't find him and only him unattractive.

I used to feel the same when dating guys: so boring to do sexual stuff! Then I found AVEN and discovered I am asexual! Such a relief!!! And to find I was not alone, that was just as big of a relief! With time I found out I can fall in love with girls and not boys, but I'm still asexual on the physical level! This doesn't mean you're also dating the wrong gender, mind. Many many people keep feeling sex is boring even when dating the right person!

Don't let your mom tell you what to do and not do with your sexual life! You can marry if you want and who you want,mans have children how you want to: sex, IVF, adoption, fostering, etc!

I would like to welcome again, and wish you a happy journey with your discovery!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino

Welcome to AVEN!

cakeR.jpg

So I figured, maybe I haven't found the right person yet. Maybe I'm just inexperienced and only people, who already had sex before, can feel sexually attracted to other people. Maybe I should have sex anyhow. Maybe everyone felt like this as a virgin and the first time isn't supposed to feel good anyway. But it will get better.


Though it might be the case that you just didn't like your first partners and chose to have sex with them for compromise reasons (to please them because you were attracted romantically and didn't want to lose them), please bear in mind that, though the sexual orientation can be fluid in some cases, most people either feel sexual attraction before they lose virginity, or never feel it (are asexuals), or only feel it under certain circumstances (demisexuals feel it only after an emotional bond is formed, but not necessarily after sex has happened).

You don't have to make love, don't owe it to anyone. Refusing sex altogether (or, alternatively, allowing it from time to time upon agreement) is totally fine, and there are actually some people who won't require it from you even in romantic relationships, though such people are harder to find.

Maybe society doesn't care about what I want. I will be the weird one, if I don't have sex and thus in the future don't have a hubby and don't start a family. Maybe I should care less about what feels right or wrong to me currently and trust more in what society says is supposed to make me happy.


First of all, you and only you, not the society, decide what's best for you. Besides, it's possible to have a family without sex. It will require a lot of search and work on compromise with the husband (if he's not asexual; mind that some sexual / grey-sexual people are fine with celibacy if their loved one requires it), but you'll be rewarded more than enough in the end, as opposed to being alone or in an abusive marriage.

However she definitely wants me to start my own family. (She even said it would be egoistic of me not to, which I don't quite understand.) So... I am supposed to have sex with my partner, even if I don't want to? I am supposed to share my life with a person whom I don't find attractive? I feel like there is something wrong with this. Or does every woman have to live this way? (Which wouldn't make it better IMO.).


Not getting married is not selfish. It's much better than creating a family where you're both unhappy.

Whether you're supposed to have sex depends on your arrangement with the partner, but as said above, you owe it to no one unless you agree yourself.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'attractiveness' - the physical appearance is of course not the main criterion in choosing a spouse, I'd say that the most important aspect is the compatibility of the general outlook on life - but if you don't like anyone overall, you're not forced to share your life with anyone. Ditch traditions, be yourself.

My friends on the other handside question that I don't like sexual activities. They sometimes ask me if I am lesbian. There's nothing rong with being a lesbian, but I honestly don't think that I am.


Many people still think that the sexual orientation can only be hetero, homo or bi. So when you tell them that you're not attracted to guys, they assume that you're attracted to girls because they don't know about other options. Please forgive them and educate them on asexuality.

So it seems like my friends feel good when kissing and doing other things. So it seems to be possible. And if this is possible... shouldn't it be possible for me, too? Am I just not "used to enjoying it"?


It's quite possible that you don't enjoy it; it's also possible that you can enjoy it but no one has been able to please you; you know yourself better than we do.

It's like I am so worried the whole time that the moment I tell him "stop", he will have physical pain, since he didn't find any relief.


Don't worry. As someone who has a (fetishist asexual) libido, I can attest that in those situations where I was forced to stop masturbating when I was about to reach the climax, I felt no pain afterwards. (It depends on the guy, but I believe that 'blue balls' are rather a myth for most guys that the reality.)

I would like to ask you about your opinion. Is it likely that I am asexual? And do you have any advice for an "A"-newbie?


You have to answer the first question yourself because you're the one who knows yourself the most. Judging by what you've written, you appear to be asexual. Mind also that there are many aspects of relationships and orientations. In particular, you should figure out whether you're romantic, grey-romantic or aromantic. The AVEN Wiki and the FAQs of subforums (this one for romantic matters) will help you.

As far as advice on your current friendship: though you don't have to 'come out' as asexual (or whatever you think your orientation is) to everyone, you should tell your potential partner(s) as soon as possible what things you're comfortable with, what things you'll never allow them to do and what activities are subject to compromise that you two will have to reach.

If you have more questions, comments, remarks for me, please feel free to send me a private message.

Kind regards,

A<>

Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to AVEN.

Honestly, discovering asexuality and how it might impact your current life, is a process.

Sometimes it is a smooth transition, sometimes it can be horrible.

I think you have the right idea though, does it feel right for you?

Only you can decide if this is something that makes sense, and that is the easiest path to live with.

I have never really felt the need to marry, or have kids. It seems like an odd concept to me, but I don't think I would be awful at it, it just seems strange to me.

I think because it doesn't feel natural to me, that I am at odds with it.

Either way I hope our stories, and the amazing people on the site, give you some ideas.

Have a beautiful day.

Link to post
Share on other sites
AnotherWeasley

Welcome to Aven! :cake: Always glad to see other people from Germany here :)

To answer your question, what you're describing sounds like asexuality to me, although, as others here have said, only you can decide if you want to call yourself ace. Most people think that sexual attraction, aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction are the same thing, mostly because many people feel all three towards the same person and have never found it necessary to differentiate between them. That doesn't really work for asexuals, which is why we use all the terms that you've no doubt come across in your research.

From what you've said, I'd say you experience aesthetic attraction and perhaps romantic attraction (I can't really tell if that's what it is, as I've never experienced it myself), but no sexual attraction. But, you know, the thing that I identified with most in your post was the sense of relief you described at finally learning about asexuality. I had the exact same experience and that feeling of relief grew stronger the more I read about it. Just like you I went through the motions of wondering, "Am I really asexual?" But in the end, the only person who can determine your sexual orientation is yourself. If you feel that you can identify with being asexual, then this is the place for you :)

I don't know if you've done this, but after I'd read the definition of asexuality here on Aven, I googled "What does sexual attraction feel like?" To me it seems like having to ask that question is something few allosexual people would have to do. Like I said, I don't know if that applies to you, I just thought I'd mention it :D

Now, I'm aromantic as well as asexual and have never dated, so I can't really give you any advice on how to deal with being in a relationship with a sexual person, other than to try to explain how you feel. And I absolutely agree with your rule: Don't do anything that doesn't feel comfortable and don't let your mother guilt you into it. You are the only person who has any right to decide what to do with your body. Some aces have sex in order to have children or to satisfy their partners, but that has to be your decision and no one else's.

I hope I was able to help a little :)

Esther

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino

Always glad to see other people from Germany here :)

From what you've said, I'd say you experience aesthetic attraction and perhaps romantic attraction

My exact thoughts ^_^ (I was born there, but don't speak German :blush:)

Link to post
Share on other sites
AnotherWeasley

Always glad to see other people from Germany here :)

From what you've said, I'd say you experience aesthetic attraction and perhaps romantic attraction

My exact thoughts ^_^ (I was born there, but don't speak German :blush:)

I don't blame you, I would never have learned German if I hadn't grown up speaking it :D I can't really deal with prepositions and all that, even though it's my native language

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hullo and welcome to AVEN! :cake: It seems like this bunch have answered your questions well and I have nothing more to add. I could definitely relate to the things you have said. I also had a bit of a fear that it may be a bit selfish of me to not get married and have no kids of my own (adoption is more likely). Though, I'm pretty sure it's not selfish because it's my body and it's my life and I don't want to spend it being miserable. I hope that everything goes well for your relationship and I also hope you enjoy being here! ^_^

Link to post
Share on other sites
Autumn Season

Thanks so much for the warm welcome and the delicious cakes! <3

@ithaca

Thanks for the advice! It makes me feel so much better, even just because you take me seriously and made the effort to reply. <3

There's actually an update to the potential partner-situation. I talked to him and told him that I don't believe we should continue with what we started...

I have been thinking about "us" for a long time already and today not only did I find out about (the possibility of) asexuality, but I also had a conversation with my mum's boyfriend (nice person btw) about the guy I'm dating. So I was able to understand myself and what I want better. I especially noticed that... even though I would love this guy as a friend and maybe as an understanding hubby (if family was my most important goal and if he still wanted me after my coming out), I did not feel romantically attracted to him. As I mentioned before, it is possible for me to at least have a crush on somebody. The truth is that I would like to experience that again... I just want to test my boundaries a little farther, before I "settle for the next best thing". This was not a "real" break-up, because we hadn't reached the stage of a relationship yet (we both agreed there), but it is still sad. He told me he thought I felt as much sexual attraction towards him as he did towards me. Well, actually, I thought similarly, until I realized what sexual attraction is or is supposed to be... Oh gosh, so complicated! And sorry, that I am talking so much.

@peanutbutter

Thank you, dear! Welcome to you, too! :cake:

@DiamondAce/ Tony

Thank you for your advice and understanding, it means a lot to me.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'attractiveness' - the physical appearance is of course not the main criterion in choosing a spouse, I'd say that the most important aspect is the compatibility of the general outlook on life - but if you don't like anyone overall, you're not forced to share your life with anyone. Ditch traditions, be yourself.

By "attractiveness" in the context of marriage I meant that as an ideal I would like to be both romantically and sexually attracted to the other party. Otherwise I'd still wish for romantic attraction. I also agree, that somebody's looks are not what determines whether or not I would like to marry him someday.

Many people still think that the sexual orientation can only be hetero, homo or bi. So when you tell them that you're not attracted to guys, they assume that you're attracted to girls because they don't know about other options. Please forgive them and educate them on asexuality.

I forgive them easily, because they are my precious friends. I know, that they only want what's best for me. ^^ About educating them: I might do that gradually. After all, like in all conversations, I don't believe in raining information on the other party. (Except if they are extremely interested.)

It's quite possible that you don't enjoy it; it's also possible that you can enjoy it but no one has been able to please you; you know yourself better than we do.

Yes, I suppose you are right. I will listen to myself and find out, if there is anything sexual that I do like. Until then I will simplify things by regarding myself as asexual. After all... it seems most probable right now.

Don't worry. As someone who has a (fetishist asexual) libido, I can attest that in those situations where I was forced to stop masturbating when I was about to reach the climax, I felt no pain afterwards. (It depends on the guy, but I believe that 'blue balls' are rather a myth for most guys that the reality.)

Oh, that's so good to hear. I'm glad that men don't have to suffer and specifically that I caused them no pain.

You have to answer the first question yourself because you're the one who knows yourself the most. Judging by what you've written, you appear to be asexual. Mind also that there are many aspects of relationships and orientations. In particular, you should figure out whether you're romantic, grey-romantic or aromantic. The AVEN Wiki and the FAQs of subforums (this one for romantic matters) will help you.

I see, so there are differences in romance, too. I would call myself rather romantic, then again it might be grey-romantic. I'll have to figure this out. ^^

As far as advice on your current friendship: though you don't have to 'come out' as asexual (or whatever you think your orientation is) to everyone, you should tell your potential partner(s) as soon as possible what things you're comfortable with, what things you'll never allow them to do and what activities are subject to compromise that you two will have to reach.

If you have more questions, comments, remarks for me, please feel free to send me a private message.

I believe you are right. After cruising through this forum I feel a bit more confident, that men can accept me for what I am. My trust in others also grew. It took only a day, but there is such an amazing feeling of gratitude in me... So I want to be more honest with potential partners from now on.

Also, thanks a lot for your offer, you are a very kind person. :)

Always glad to see other people from Germany here :)

From what you've said, I'd say you experience aesthetic attraction and perhaps romantic attraction


My exact thoughts ^_^ (I was born there, but don't speak German :blush:)

Yay, the world is a small place! Btw, are you from Russia? Because I was born there, haha.

@argar

It's always interesting to see the world from other people's points of view. Even in AVEN it seems like everyone is different and it's such a colorful community. I definitely think that the people here help me a lot.

@AnotherWeasley/ Esther

First of all "Harry Potter all the way"! xD I'm also glad to see somebody from Germany. :3 It's kind of nice to know, that even close to me there are people just like me...

I don't know if you've done this, but after I'd read the definition of asexuality here on Aven, I googled "What does sexual attraction feel like?" To me it seems like having to ask that question is something few allosexual people would have to ask. Like I said, I don't know if that applies to you, I just thought I'd mention it :D

I googled it immediately after seeing your suggestion. xD After that it took me a while to read all of the interesting posts, that I've found. Your question is really inspiring to me, because until you put it into words I just... assumed that I knew what sexual attraction feels like. But I didn't. At least not in relation to another human being. Wow, today I only ever receive eye openers!

I hope I was able to help a little :)

You did, a lot! *hugs*

@Honey-senpai

This is such a relief to know that you felt the same way! I felt so silly on my own with my "weird" emotions. But I'm glad not to be alone. PS I also like the character Honey senpai. I'm sure he's got an evil side to him, jk. ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites
AnotherWeasley

@AnotherWeasley/ Esther


First of all "Harry Potter all the way"! xD I'm also glad to see somebody from Germany. :3 It's kind of nice to know, that even close to me there are people just like me...

Always happy to meet Harry Potter fans, especially German ones xD

I don't know if you've done this, but after I'd read the definition of asexuality here on Aven, I googled "What does sexual attraction feel like?" To me it seems like having to ask that question is something few allosexual people would have to ask. Like I said, I don't know if that applies to you, I just thought I'd mention it :D

I googled it immediately after seeing your suggestion. xD After that it took me a while to read all of the interesting posts, that I've found. Your question is really inspiring to me, because until you put it into words I just... assumed that I knew what sexual attraction feels like. But I didn't. At least not in relation to another human being. Wow, today I only ever receive eye openers!

I hope I was able to help a little :)

You did, a lot! *hugs*

I'm glad I could help *hugs*

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino

Yay, the world is a small place! Btw, are you from Russia? Because I was born there, haha.

It's small indeed :D I'm a Russian citizen of Siberian origin, have no right for citizenship of any other country, so my travel ability is somewhat limited :(

There's actually an update to the potential partner-situation. I talked to him and told him that I don't believe we should continue with what we started...

I hope you remain good friends regardless!

I sometimes ask myself what would have happened if I had tried to 'convert' my thetes (episodes of aesthetic attraction) into romantic or sexual relationships. I used to regret missing my opportunities a lot, but after I discovered AVEN and learned that the attractions were most likely purely aesthetic, I was able to forgive myself. It feels good that I didn't waste time on them :)

I did not feel romantically attracted to him. As I mentioned before, it is possible for me to at least have a crush on somebody.

Please note that a person of any romantic orientation can have a squish - an episode of intense desire of friendship - that might or might not develop into a friendship or a crush.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi and welcome to AVEN! You've gotten so many awesome replies I don't think I can add much more. I really hope you love being part of this community!!! :)

pE8KPHT.jpg

Link to post
Share on other sites
Autumn Season

It's small indeed :D I'm a Russian citizen of Siberian origin, have no right for citizenship of any other country, so my travel ability is somewhat limited :(

I see. ^^ I was born in Saint Petersburg, but moved to Germany with my family, when I was five. I'm actually glad we moved, because I feel like Germans can travel practically anywhere without troubles. I could imagine that Russians have it easier to travel to socialist countries like China and Vietnam. Not sure though. I've never been to any Siberian city, but I would love to visit some. ^^

I hope you remain good friends regardless!

I sometimes ask myself what would have happened if I had tried to 'convert' my thetes (episodes of aesthetic attraction) into romantic or sexual relationships. I used to regret missing my opportunities a lot, but after I discovered AVEN and learned that the attractions were most likely purely aesthetic, I was able to forgive myself. It feels good that I didn't waste time on them :)

Thank you! I don't think we will remain friends, because from the very beginning the guy said, that he couldn't imagine being with a former girlfriend. Even though we weren't in a relaionship yet, we were still very close to one. So... yeah. But I don't feel bad about it. I'm glad I got to know him and I'm sorry it didn't work out. Still I see it as a positive experience in my life and - as you said - I'm glad that I didn't push the boundaries of our relationship to transform it into something that does not feel natural to me. Knowing AVEN definitely helps to not feel regrets.

Please note that a person of any romantic orientation can have a squish - an episode of intense desire of friendship - that might or might not develop into a friendship or a crush.

Wow, I didn't know that. I'm not quite sure, where the difference is... Maybe a squish happens, when I want to be best friends with someone? Actually, knowing about squishes really confuses me.

Hi and welcome to AVEN! You've gotten so many awesome replies I don't think I can add much more. I really hope you love being part of this community!!! :)

Thanks so much! The kitten are very adorable. ^^

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino

I'm actually glad we moved, because I feel like Germans can travel practically anywhere without troubles. I could imagine that Russians have it easier to travel to socialist countries like China and Vietnam. Not sure though.

Visa requirements for citizens of different countries can be checked on Wikipedia; Germans (and Schengen area citizens in general) do have more freedom (mind that even Russians need a visa to go to China).

I'm not quite sure, where the difference is... Maybe a squish happens, when I want to be best friends with someone? Actually, knowing about squishes really confuses me.

I think you have the right idea of what a squish is. I've actually thought about the difference since yesterday and came to the conclusion that, because my fantasies never involve kissing or cuddling (feature only activities that 'just roommates' can do), they're platonic and not romantic, i.e. I can (and often do) get squishes, but not crushes.

It's commonly thought that even monoamorous people can be squishing on many people at once (and have many best friends at once, of course), as witnessed by the AVEN squish confession thread, where almost every young regular poster claims to have squished on almost all other at some point :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
Autumn Season

Visa requirements for citizens of different countries can be checked on Wikipedia; Germans (and Schengen area citizens in general) do have more freedom (mind that even Russians need a visa to go to China).

Oh, I see. It seems like Russians don't need visas for south American countries and south-east Asian countries. I think it's a bit weird, that Russians need a visa in Europe, considering that it is (partially) European, at least geographically speaking.

I think you have the right idea of what a squish is. I've actually thought about the difference since yesterday and came to the conclusion that, because my fantasies never involve kissing or cuddling (feature only activities that 'just roommates' can do), they're platonic and not romantic, i.e. I can (and often do) get squishes, but not crushes.

It's commonly thought that even monoamorous people can be squishing on many people at once (and have many best friends at once, of course), as witnessed by the AVEN squish confession thread, where almost every young regular poster claims to have squished on almost all other at some point :D

Oh, wow, I love the confession thread! xD It's so honest, I've never heard of anything similar IRL. ^^ Now that I think about it, some of my crushes might have been squishes. Do I still have a squish on someone, if I feel at least a sensual attraction towards them? Just wondering.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino

Do I still have a squish on someone, if I feel at least a sensual attraction towards them? Just wondering.

An episode of sensual attraction is a distinct event that has been coined a 'plish' on Tumblr (this term is hardly popular, though). It's often accompanied by a squish (desire for close friendship) or a crush, but sometimes isn't.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Autumn Season

Do I still have a squish on someone, if I feel at least a sensual attraction towards them? Just wondering.

An episode of sensual attraction is a distinct event that has been coined a 'plish' on Tumblr (this term is hardly popular, though). It's often accompanied by a squish (desire for close friendship) or a crush, but sometimes isn't.

Oh my, you know so much! And the more you're telling me, the more I'm like... I feel like I have to learn a completely new language and I have to use the dictionary the whole time just to talk about my basic feelings. xD

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino

Exactly ;) That said, I think that the lexicon FAQ of the aro forum, the AVEN Wiki and Tumblr blogs like the one I've mentioned cover the required vocabulary quite well.

Plus, a significant part of AVENites don't like it when complicated 'labels' are used and refuse to learn them. Basic terms like 'a/demi/greysexual', 'a/greyromantic', 'queerplatonic' are quite enough for your speech to be understood here. Advanced terms like 'cupioromantic' or the famously clumsy 'autochorissexual'='anegosexual' are optional, they're for nerds like me who love to convey every detail in one word.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Autumn Season

What?...Whawha.. WHAT???

Oh... So it's a... Oh, ok. So cupioromantic people want to be in a romantic relationship, even though they don't feel any romantic attraction towards people and autochorissexual/ aegosexual/ anegosexual people get turned on by sex, which they don't participate in. I guess, I'm anegosexual then. I hope I get bonus points by using your term. ;)

I think it's cool that you make new English words with your knowledge of the Greek language.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino

I guess, I'm anegosexual then. I hope I get bonus points by using your term. ;)

:blush: The term is not mine, just Mysticus Insanus (iirc) and me once got grumpy about the phonetic clumsiness of the word 'aegosexual' coined on Tumblr: when the 'a-' prefix is added to a root beginning with a vowel, it must turn into 'an-' to maintain sonority.

I wonder if the percentage of anegosexuals among all aces in Germany is higher than in other countries: I've heard that Germany makes the best porn in the world, hard not to get turned on by even if you're ace :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
Autumn Season

Weeell, if nobody used a word, until Mysticus and you introduced it to the world, then it's pretty much made by you. And I think that's cool. BTW I totally agree, that "an" sounds better, more correct and seems more practical than "a" in this case.

!!! We do??? I didn't know! In fact I'm not much of a porn watcher, because it looks so fake. Do you know any good one? I'm more into... some fanfiction or wet dreams. *cough* Non of these ever involve me in person.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino

Ah OK, I didn't know that you're not into porn; I don't watch it either, just heard it from mass media / sexuals :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd stay silent, but you have this funny conversation about porn, and I think it's myth (local to ex-USSR countries) rather, than a fact. I think that rumor began to spread in the times of late USSR, because most/almost all porn of some quality, that was brought into Russia was made in Germany. I guess it was due to fact, that Germany was much closer to western world (and, due to that much farther from Moscow) and it was relatively easy to smuggle it. In 90-s that particular 'brand' was still wildly popular and (most of all) available, I guess, so at that period (among many, many others), myth were settled in general 'folklore' - you don't need to watch porn to spread it. But today, there so many porn in internet, so people just use that myth for various jokes, without actually questioing it.

Pretty harmless stereotype, I guess. )

Not, that I think you came to AVEN to read about that, but it' too late! I'm sorry.

So... Herzlich Wilkommen auf AVEN, Autumn.

raspberry+cake.JPG

Link to post
Share on other sites
Autumn Season

x'D Thanks for the education. No, really, thanks. I'm always interested in where myths come about.

Apropos USSR and porn. *awkward sentence* I heard something funny recently about how the US army wanted to weaken the USSR mentally. They planned to drop packages of huge condoms somewhere on Russian territory. So the women would start wishing they were with Americans and the men would feel bad about their size... :'D Silly things allosexuals do. (Though who know, it just might have been effective.)

Link to post
Share on other sites

As was coined in 1987's US-Soviet Space Bridge "In USSR there is no sex.. and we're against it" - it was about commercials, but phrase itself became another myth.

Maybe, you're right, who knows... =)

Link to post
Share on other sites
Autumn Season

Aww, talking about that sex sells. ^^

Link to post
Share on other sites

Huh?

It becomes reaaaally disturbing, when they use food to sell something sex related and sex - to sell food. It's so frigging crazy...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...