If you never heard of the concept of asexuality or related position, where would you be, and how would you identify?

[Larkaloke]

I'd probably do what I did before I figured out what asexuality was, and just assume that I've got no interest in that stuff and I don't really need to justify it. I never felt the need to try having sex, because I was always rather sure I didn't want to, so I still wouldn't. I would probably still be wondering whether I simply hadn't finished growing up yet, though, despite that being a more dubious prospect every year.

There was a brief time I thought I might be bisexual because I felt the same (lack of) attraction to both men and women, but I had already come to the conclusion that wasn't the case before realised I was asexual.

[XYZ96]

I'd probably identify as straight in order not to explain myself, however if I had to explain I probable end up saying "I am uninterested in that stuff, can't see how anyone is. But you know, must be straight right? I have no interest in women so.... I mean men aren't my thing either but, if you don't identify with the minority your probable the majority, right? But maybe I am gay? No... Don't think so, but... Ehh.,, I'm nothing.., sorry, I failed at puberty! :D , maybe I'm unconsciously celibate..." That's probably what if say if I never came across asexuality....

[Truth and Lies]

Before I knew about asexuality, I already declared myself abstinent for life. At the time I had trouble grasping and remembering the definition of "celibate." So no, I would not be having sex nor have any interest in it. In fact, I would probably be more sex-repulsed than I am now, because if I didn't discover asexuality and AVEN, I wouldn't have found Laci Green and wouldn't have become more open about sex-related topics. I probably would not have put much thought to my orientation. Relationship-wise, I'd be sticking to the fact that I will likely never have one in my life. I try to be more optimistic nowadays, but it is not something I expect, because I am terribly high maintenance.

[Andiamo]

Until a year and a half ago, I said I was "heterosexual, to the best of my knowledge." Then I learned what asexuality was.

[Holy Ghost]

I used to identify as a bromancer, I never thought about sexual/romantic relationships but I love deep friendships and tv bromances. they are things I desire but I'm incapable of. If I never discovered asexuality, I'd be in my room on tumblr, wondering why I'm so odd.

[Gloomy]

I think I'd probably identify as lesbian or bisexual, but I still wouldn't be having sex.

[Elluna Hellen]

I would probably still identify as 'still uninterested for now' with a massive sense of wondering why the F I'm so late to get interested in this kind of stuff. Or assume that it would eventually happen either way. I would probably 'blend in' to a certain extent by which I just mean that I would continue on living the way I would, without ID'ing as asexual. Most likely wouldn't go and try to look for a relationship or anything if I'm not interested. I also don't think I would make myself have sex.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I was already used to being the weirdo from an early age and it never bothered me, so I'd still be thinking everyone else were the ones doing it wrong :P

[MerePeasant]

I'd continue to be straight, but ever worrying about how my relationships would work out, and so would also keep feeling 'broken'. So I would certainly keep thinking something was off.

[timewarp]

I'd continue to be straight, but ever worrying about how my relationships would work out, and so would also keep feeling 'broken'. So I would certainly keep thinking something was off.

Similar for me, but I would probably have given up on relationships, shrug it off and simply focus on other things in life.

Not that my actual life is very different from that scenario, but at least now I'm open for a relationship provided I get to eat some cake at least twice a week (though I do already eat chocolate fudge cake with vanilla ice cream once a week at the pub quiz, which drastically reduces my need for a relationship).

[Lost247365]

Before they lock this necro:

1. A completely broken heterosexual virgin.

2. And I would still be a virgin had I not found out about asexuality.

3. I didn't blend in before, and I still wouldn't.

4. I always thought something was off.

[Lightning Blue Ray]

I always thought I was straight before I knew what asexuality was. Okay, maybe not thought. It's just that I would have gone with straight because I knew I was not into girls.

[Wildflower Lovepotion]

Honestly I'd probably still just be incredibly confused. Before I learned what Asexuality was I was confused and every few weeks I would come out as a different orientation. I had a fair share of sex, both with single partners and multiple and even tried on the BDSM community for awhile. I don't like sex, I don't get it, but I figured I had to because everyone does. Eventually I settled on Pansexual until I learned about asexuality and realised I wasn't attracted to anyone, regardless of any factors. :)

[Vivaldi Ives]

Hmm...looks like I selected "heterosexual" at whatever time I took this poll previously. I've actually been thinking about this recently, and I think right now, if I didn't know about asexuality, I'd probably consider myself "questioning"/queer/fluid, while still trying to pass as heterosexual.

[Vixrotre]

I identify as demisexual because I don't find people attractive unless I knew them for a while and started developing feelings for them. Not just sexually attractive, but attractive at all- all strangers are gray to me, "meh", neither appealing or disgusting. I knew there was something wrong with me pretty much since I hit puberty, as all the girls suddenly began fangirling and lusting over actors and musicians and I didn't care in the slightest. I was incapable of it. I remember this one girl bringing a poster of some hispanic soap opera actor, he was muscular, dark skin, sparkly eyes and hair, unbuttoned shirt, flexed, laying on a rock on a beach during sunset, and she asked me "Isn't he sexy?" and I honestly thought he wasn't. I felt uncomfortable looking at this poster and I didn't know why.

I came out as bisexual to this one classmate of mine when I was 15, even though I was dating a boy at the time and I've never been attracted to a specific woman. I just knew I was capable of loving another girl. But even though I came out as bi, I wasn't sure of it. For years I was so confused about my orientation, jumping from 100% to 100% lesbian, to bi, to asexual, because I have libido, I masturbate, I was attracted to people before, but when single I was completely clueless. I'd look at men and be completely not interested in any, I'd look at girls and be completely not interested in any, I'd imagine myself kissing someone and I'd get uncomfortable and creeped out. So I was just lost.

I discovered the term "demisexual" when I was 18, so over a year ago. It was like a lightbulb in cartoons. I immediately felt like "That's it. This is who I am" and I've felt so relieved! Even though no one ever knows what "demisexuality" is, it just feels so good to know who I am myself.

[KendraPM]

I waffled a lot between heterosexual and bisexual before realizing I was asexual. Sex with either gender was equally unappealing, but at the same time my high libido and society's views kept me thinking that I'd want sex if I just had it enough. I think I would have eventually figured I didn't fit society, but mostly I didn't realize I was that different because I've seen single for so long that my lack of a sex life-or desire to have one-hardly registered (except when other people would bring it up.)

[Lixt]

I identified as bisexual with a low libido before hearing about asexuality. I heard about the difference between bi and pan at the same time, and even if they can overlap, the difference in nuances makes "pan" more accurate. So maybe I would have switched to pansexual (with low libido, don't know if I'd realised inexistent or kept a "low" semi denial) at some point.

I didn't have (consensual) sex before hearing about asexuality. I don't know if I would have sex if I didn't hear about it, but I think I wouldn't. Learning about my orientation was an important part of compromising in a mixed relationship, before that I just thought my lack of sexual attraction was a sign I wasn't (romantically) in love with a possible partner, so I would stop seeing that person.

I don't know if I'd blend in that world.

I would definitely know and feel something is off with me, since that's how I went to search about explanations in the first place.

[Maiflower]

For the first question, I picked heterosexual and pansexual (and multiple options), because I don't know what my romantic orientation is, and would probably be somewhere between those. But, didn't notice the unsure part. Then, I definitely wouldn't be having sex since I'm young, and I always thought it was just... bleh. And I picked other for blending in, since I could blend in probably, especially right now, but maybe not as much in the future. And I always thought something was off about my sexuality before knowing about asexuality. And thank you, next time I tell the story of how I realized I am asexual, I finally have a way to explain how I felt before!

[Salted Karamel]

I would have continued to identify as heterosexual, since I was and still am romantically interested in men. Actually, at my age, I did spend a good part of my life having to try to fit within the hetero label since the term asexual was unheard of for most of my life. So I've kind of been there, done that. I was happy to use my faith as an excuse, in that I was waiting for marriage (and under ideal conditions I still would have hoped for that even today, but life is far from ideal), but as the years went on and people saw me date-less for ages, I really couldn't effectively use that as a cover.

I also knew that I was different from most others, specifically I simply couldn't understand how and why people went rapidly from one romantic interest to the next, and there I was, only having interest in someone about as often as a leap year comes around. People I knew would break up or divorce, and then "boom!" they'd be right back out there hooked up with someone new. That was quite alien to me. Worse yet, what few crushes I would have seemed to be different for me than they would for other people. No one could understand my point of view and neither could I understand theirs.

I tried my best to fit in, but in certain situations I felt like I stuck out like a proverbial sore thumb being that I didn't date and never had a significant other. And being that I had crushes at all, however intermittent and rare they were, was probably even more confusing to others around me. I'm sure people wondered why I appeared to be interested in guys on occasion but I never or very rarely dated.

So I would have just gone on considering myself a "hetero-who-knows-what" I suppose; a heterosexual with some kind of inherent flaw of unknown origin.

Aaahhh I have so very much had this same experience (the bolded part). And the worst is that when you finally can't take being baffled anymore and try to ask people in different ways, they always seem to be so offended, like you're passing some kind of judgment on them.

Like, no, I legit do not understand this. But since everyone else in the world seems to understand it, they think everyone must and you're just being mean for asking!

Now that I understand that I've actually been missing a key experience that most of the human population has been experiencing and assuming I have also been experiencing (i.e., sexual attraction to strangers), I feel bad about all the people I have offended in the past. And sadly I will not get the chance to explain to most of them where our miscommunication was stemming from. It's like the invisible elephant analogy except I somehow stepped all over their invisible elephant and just had all sorts of terrible elephant manners.

I identify as demisexual because I don't find people attractive unless I knew them for a while and started developing feelings for them. Not just sexually attractive, but attractive at all- all strangers are gray to me, "meh", neither appealing or disgusting. I knew there was something wrong with me pretty much since I hit puberty, as all the girls suddenly began fangirling and lusting over actors and musicians and I didn't care in the slightest. I was incapable of it. I remember this one girl bringing a poster of some hispanic soap opera actor, he was muscular, dark skin, sparkly eyes and hair, unbuttoned shirt, flexed, laying on a rock on a beach during sunset, and she asked me "Isn't he sexy?" and I honestly thought he wasn't. I felt uncomfortable looking at this poster and I didn't know why.

I came out as bisexual to this one classmate of mine when I was 15, even though I was dating a boy at the time and I've never been attracted to a specific woman. I just knew I was capable of loving another girl. But even though I came out as bi, I wasn't sure of it. For years I was so confused about my orientation, jumping from 100% to 100% lesbian, to bi, to asexual, because I have libido, I masturbate, I was attracted to people before, but when single I was completely clueless. I'd look at men and be completely not interested in any, I'd look at girls and be completely not interested in any, I'd imagine myself kissing someone and I'd get uncomfortable and creeped out. So I was just lost.

I discovered the term "demisexual" when I was 18, so over a year ago. It was like a lightbulb in cartoons. I immediately felt like "That's it. This is who I am" and I've felt so relieved! Even though no one ever knows what "demisexuality" is, it just feels so good to know who I am myself.

This bolded part could also describe me to a T. I never found the same sort of men attractive that other girls did, or that society seemed to deem "sexy." But I thought that the aesthetic attraction that I experienced was this sexual attraction they were speaking of, and I tend to find much more clean and maybe slightly effeminate men attractive in that way. Bulging muscles, body hair, oiled skin? Honestly makes me want to gag. But a nice smile, pretty eyes, soft hair, average build, that was what I always found "attractive." (Never occurred to me that an immediate desire to have sex with such a person should be part of that attraction, aside from feeling a romantic attraction to an aesthetically attractive person and embracing or even just accepting the prospect of sex as part of such a relationship.)

I chalked that up to just concluding that I had very different standards of what I found attractive, and I was aware that what I liked wasn't as "masculine" as that muscled stud ideal I guess we're all supposed to go after. So I always wondered a bit if I was bisexual or maybe a repressed lesbian or something.

And I have been romantically attracted to girls. I've even considered how pursuing a romantic relationship with a girl might go, and if I would want to have sex with her. But I think it always comes out to be "no, not really." Or maybe I just haven't let myself fall for a girl enough to develop that demisexual attraction. I dunno. That's the problem with demisexuality; It seems by the time you know whether or not you'd ever want to have sex with someone, there's already enough going on there for there to be hurt feelings about a "no."

But to answer the original questions, I probably would have identified somewhere between heterosexual and bisexual. And if I'd never learned the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction, I'd probably have always been questioning which one of those I was. (Hetero-demisexual panromantic, it seems.)

[WinterWanderer]

This poll is so important. I almost want to show it to people when I come out as ace, just to show them that asexuality is a thing. And if the concept of asexuality doesn't exist, many of us would feel lost.

[SkyWorld]

Interesting poll.

Before finding out about asexuality, I thought that I was heterosexual by default, but even then I still questioned it. My other friends have noticed it too and often thought that I was bi or gay. Although I had thought I was heterosexual by default, I still questioned myself. One time I even downright admitted to a friend, "I cannot see myself having sex with anyone". At the time, I honestly didn't know that it was "okay" to not want sex and I had thought that it would just "happen eventually", so I may as well "accept" it.

[oldgeeza]

I guess I'd identify as heteroasexual, I am attracted to the opposite gender but would not be interested in intercourse.

I tried having intercourse, I had two partners, I still didn't enjoy it, I have never had any interest in it, over 30 years on from the last attempt, I have no sexual feelings whatsoever.

I have no feelings of anything being off with me, my asexuality is a part of the make up of who I am, sexual orientation doesn't make the person, the person makes the person

[Myssterry]

I would regard myself as a heterosexual but not a very interested one. Because women in our society are meant to want to be with a partner and to have a family, I would never fit in, and don't care one way or the other.

[Avis Nigris]

Before I knew what asexual was I simply told those who asked that "I'm just not attracted to anybody in that way" so...asexual mostly just gave a name to what I knew.

[Ficulnean]

Take a closer look at your use of the words had and having. that sincerely confused me for a moment,

[Larien]

This poll is being locked and moved to the read-only Census Archive for 2015. As part of ongoing Census Forum organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, each poll will last for one year. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to restart new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

Census Moderator