Sleeping Elf Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I hope no-one will mind if I ask this question I'm still trying to understand asexuality, the different orientations within the ace spectrum, if that's the right way to put it. I realised when I discovered asexuality and AVEN that I identified as an aromantic asexual, but before I did I thought that I was straight but different. My fantasies have always been solely for male actors although I do like watching The L Word but with music I prefer listening to the female voice rather than male. So my question is how does one know as an aromantic asexual whether you are straight or gay or would you say you are neither? One of the reasons I ask is that at work they send round a diversity form every year and I've always ticked straight automatically but last time I hesitated and wondered whether I should pick Other as there is no specific category of asexual. However, the form is not anonymous so I feel a bit of self conscious about 'coming out' to the HR Department but then again the whole point is diversity. Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I'm also an aromantic asexual, and I consider myself neither straight nor gay. I suppose some aromantic aces may be able to identify with one or the other based on aesthetic or sensual attractions, but for me I don't feel compelled to identify either way. It's really up to you how you want to identify on the form. Choose whichever option you feel most comfortable with! Link to post Share on other sites
Vega91 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 You can feel aesthetic attraction towards specific genders. And of course some people feel more comfortable with males/females/other. However, an asexual is neither straight nor gay in the sense with which they are used publicly (i.e. sexual orientation, but usage may vary with people.) Of course you don't have to come out to HR if you don't want to, is leaving the section blank an option? If not, just check whatever feels most comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Sleeping Elf Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 Thanks for your responses I'll have to see how our feel when the form comes round again :) Link to post Share on other sites
DexM Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Although you usually have to put your name on such a form, they do remain anonymous to a degree. The idea is that the company you work for/the people who ask, are supposed to submit the information in order for certain figures to be met and kept. Realistically, nobody should look a the forms other than maybe a few people, anyone in HR shouldn't really be looking in to what is written, and everything is usually sent to a main stat. keeping database. But I do understand the anxiety in knowing what to tick. I have often asked the person who has dished them out, to include/look into considering an asexual box. I educate them on what and why. If there isn't any chance of a form being altered in that way, then I usually ask them to include something that would allow Other to be ticked and then a line underneath for anyone to write in Asexual if they so please. I hope that me pestering asking them will one day get someone to make a change, and with asexual being written next to the Other box, someone will switch on to these numbers adding up. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 We don't put out names on the feedback forms - but then the results don't bear any relation to what's actually said by the employees :( Link to post Share on other sites
Sleeping Elf Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 Thx DexM, I feel awareness is so important I stumbled across the term asexuality on Wikipedia never having heard the term before which led me to AVEN and realised I fit here and I wasn't alone. Since then I've become more aware only because I'm now looking for information. If it hadn't of been for Wikipedia I'd still be ignorant as in my day to day life I still don't see references to it that's why I feel tempted to mark the form. Link to post Share on other sites
DexM Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 No worries. :) Wikipedia also led me to AVEN. When I first joined, I was terrified of who and what I was, but also hugely relieved that there were many others just like me. So many other members seemed to have had similar experiences and thoughts as I had, and that made me feel like I belonged somewhere. Reading other peoples stories and seeing how the dealt with it all, led me to be a little more open, dare I say brave, and that allowed me to bring it up with people when filling in forms. AVEN educated me, I was educating people, and that felt important. It's the little things like this, little things that are big things to the person involved, that add up to people being more aware of asexuality. I say, if Jedi can be included on our Census forms, then asexual can be included on any forms of any kind. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
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