Sage Raven Domino Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Well, the fact that your ex was very sexual is very consistent with his inability to withstand an LDR :( In relationships between aces, sexual abstinence not an issue, there's one obstacle less :) Congrats on finding someone who's up for it :) Link to post Share on other sites
Burgundy Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Well, the fact that your ex was very sexual is very consistent with his inability to withstand an LDR :( In relationships between aces, sexual abstinence not an issue, there's one obstacle less :) Congrats on finding someone who's up for it :) Aww thanks! I don't know if it'll happen, but I'll bring up the topic of all that stuff if needed. We may meet up at a gig in Morecambe (him coming up North to see me) but I'm a little bit nervous about it, got to find a friend to come with me to make sure he's not a psycho! xx Link to post Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 got to find a friend to come with me to make sure he's not a psycho! xx :D Can't you try to figure his mental health out in a long Skype conversation, though? I'm a bit envious for the fact that you have a lot of locals that you can date. I'm surrounded by sexuals in my country of bears and matryoshkas, and only a VLDR can solve the problem if I'm gonna be in a relationship at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Sorry if it's inappropriate, I've mentioned your VLDR as an illustration of the point that a relationship can help people drag each other out of the abyss of issues. Could you please elaborate on how you got together? Was it pure luck or a result of deliberate search? I don't know if I can really say much else that my partner didn't cover already But I'll try to expand somewhat. She was really like a savior to me. In some ways, I got to serve that role back towards her, not only in a more general sort of way (we both suffer from existential depression, which inherently carries a sense of "Am I really the only one around here that thinks this way? Because nobody else around me seems to..." sort of loneliness... in that sense, it's actually a lot like asexuality) but also in a more immediate sort of way, because she was just about to move into what turned out to be a rather stressful situation for her, and even though we're thousands of miles away in reality, I was able to serve as a friend by her side in an environment where she didn't really have anyone else around. That's an important factor to me, because... the thing is, in my past, I had another relationship partner (my first, actually) who got me out of a really bad rut, one bad enough that I do not think I would still be alive today if it wasn't for her intervention. To this day, one of my bigger regrets is that I was not able to function in this same sort of capacity back towards her -- repaying the favor, as it were. She was already an adult, well capable of taking care of herself, whereas I was still just a kid that was just being introduced to the wonders of depression and the Real World™. I'm sure she never needed me around, even though it felt like I needed her. But since I couldn't do for her what she did for me, I have instead tried to do what she has done for others -- paying it forward. It was that which eventually led me to where I'm at now. I'm now in a relationship where I no longer feel like I'm just taking. I can give back as well. It was that first relationship I had that taught me how important it really is for me to be able to do that. Everything that's been happening has been causing me to look back at my past with a newfound appreciation, even for some of the more unfortunate events in my life, because in a sense it all led me to where I am now. I feel more at peace with myself than I ever had before, and this is coming from someone who was thoroughly convinced since high school that he'd never feel that way again. Link to post Share on other sites
Burgundy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 got to find a friend to come with me to make sure he's not a psycho! xx :D Can't you try to figure his mental health out in a long Skype conversation, though? We've skyped a fair bit lol But I'm still a bit nervous. It'd be a Professor Elemental gig (have you heard of him? Steampunk, gentleman rapper!). He kind of asked me out on Valentine's Day (I've haven't said I'm ace, just hasn't come up) and I replied saying I was interested but could we talk about it on Skype sometime... we're both cowards :') And then I suggested the gig. xx Link to post Share on other sites
The Strong Force Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 I don't have any experience which allows me to be helpful or insightful to the issues of LDRs but I just wanted to say that this is the most adorable, uplifting and inspiring threads I have ever seen. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
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