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Libido or sexual attraction? (possibly TMI)


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So after having to start hormones, I've gone from not having a libido to having a libido. Becuase the only person I've done anything sexual with is my boyfriend, when I get turned on, I often end up thinking of the feelings when we were doing sexual stuff, which leads me to be wanting to be doing that sort of stuff with him to feel like that (masterbation doesn't really do it for me). I assumed that I was only feeling like that due to my libido and associating that sort of thing with him, but there have been times when I've began to question whether it is, or if it's sexual attraction towards him, and I'm some sort of grey/demi asexual. But becuase I'm new to having a libido, I have no idea if this is just my libido or something more, so any thoughts would be helpful

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Idk (not really experiencing either) but it sounds more like libido to me. It's just that, because you have a partner, and because you say masturbation is unsatisfactory, he has become an outlet for said libido.

But it's going to be really hard for anyone other than you to be able to judge, not being the possessors of your brain.

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Oddball-Meo

This sounds like sexual attraction to me. In my opinion the fact that you want to do it with him means you are sexually attracted to him otherwise you wouldn't have the desire to engage in anything sexual with him (except maybe to make him happy) even if your libido is very high. Of course this is only my opinion and you will get different answers based on what people's definition for sexual attraction is.

But like Philip027 said, you are the only one that will be able to tell in the end whether this is only a libido thing or whether or not you are grey/demi.

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SorryNotSorry

From my own male POV, I can be reasonably sure that a surge in my testosterone levels has never resulted in me wanting to have sex as opposed to remaining without it... how fast my facial hair grows is a crude indicator of how much testosterone I'm producing. In my case, it doesn't affect how my brain is wired.

I don't know how HRT would work on the female libido, because the female hormonal system is more complex; but in males, everything is connected to that central testosterone level. For me, getting testosterone booster shots would be a bad idea because they'd increase my risk of developing prostate cancer.

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Hooded_Crow

I have to agree with Phil here, and I promise it's not just because he's my partner >_>

You sound a lot like me (except I've always had a libido) and I've had the same sort of questions and doubts. I still do sometimes. But I still call myself asexual. Here's why.

It's been said over and over on many many websites that asexual people can enjoy sexual touching because it feels nice. Doesn't make you grey.

It's been said on the same websites that asexual people can enjoy the feeling of closeness that comes from sharing sex with a loving partner. Doesn't make you demi.

So why would "feels nice" + "I like sharing that with my partner" suddenly equal "demi/grey"?

If you don't look at your partner in a sexual way, I believe it's fair to call yourself asexual. Then again, you can call yourself whatever you want, of course :)

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binary suns

On the one hand what you describe sounds like my experience, and I know I'm not experiencing attraction. On the other hand I'd never use the words "for him" when talking about the allure of arousal... when aroused my body just wants more of what gives me those feels, but if I think of a person its more of a... 'cause they're there feeling. It's possible that if I never experienced this until I was in a relationship, I might experience it like you...

And anyway I feel likes its on the line. I strongly feel it isn't sexual attraction for me, but it's enough like it that I could pretend that it is. It just feels wrong for me to do that, 'cause there just isn't a sense of attachment... what my body wants is the satisfied libido feeling, and the random partner is just a means to get there.

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