lobsterapples Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Hi I am a new comer to AVEN, and although being aware of asexuality for some time I have only recently been considering it seriously as my own orientation. So I'll try and keep things concise and to the point (but I can't make promises). I know that orientation is an individuals decision and is often more for communication than anything else but I want to make sure my experience lines up with at least some people before I start flaunting fancy vocabulary... I think I'm heteroromantic (possibly bi due to lack of experience) demisexual. Does anyone else feel similar to the following??? To start I'm only 16 and have always been uncomfortable when sex is brought up socially. For the past few years I've been strongly convinced that this has got to be because I've been repressing my desires. In my head sex seems interesting, I sometimes fantasize but usually consciously or when trying to gauge my own reactions. I used to masturbate daily or more but have cut down to weekly and thinking of trying even less to channel that energy to be more productive. I used to obsess about hooking up, but looking back it was always in the context of getting it over with, to seem socially normal. This year I had three actual sexual encounters (my first all with girls) but we didn't go past oral/digital (3rd base) and in none of them could I actually orgasm let alone become fully hard, again I'm still unsure if this is because of emotional withdrawal or actually having no interest. I only remember feeling quite uncomfortable once they started reaching for my penis (I reworded this many times btw). Now despite not personally enjoying hooking up, I really liked pleasing my partner (once there were two) and it was nice to see them be pleased. Conclusion: Trying to have sex seems like too much work despite a deep seated often elusive desire. I like the idea of pleasing attractive and intimate friends seems satisfying but I would never initiate. I understand the possible offensiveness of sexual repression in the ace community but does this sound like I am just to withdrawn to handle intimate contact or am I somewhere under the umbrella of Acedom???? Thanks in advance hope this made sense. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cheerful Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Are you somewhere under the umbrella of Acedom? With what you've written, I would say you most definitely are. Welcome. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lobsterapples Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 Thanks Cheerful, re-reading I guess its obvious but I guess Im still just curious and confused and wanting to know more about how all this works for other ppl. But I read the 'I have a high sex drive..." topic and its starting to come into focus. The problem now is that if my mind wants/is interested in sex but the rest of myself sees no use then should I start telling ppl I Ace because that could wreck possibilites.... Ones that I don't even know if I want yets (Oh and thanks for the welcome too ^_^) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NudistOnStrike Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I would say that you fit into our wide spectrum and umbrella! Welcome, glad to have you with us. The more the merrier Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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