Boudikka Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 First I'd like to share a bit of my backstory. I started identifying as asexual&aromantic a bit short of a year ago, so I'm still trying to figure certain things out. I had no knowledge of asexuality before this, but when I found out about it, I immediately knew I was definitely aro/ace, as I had neither any romantic nor sexual thoughts towards anyone pretty much my entire life. I was actually quite dumbfounded when a friend told me it's normal for them to look at someone and think 'Wow, I'd like to get with that person.' and I still don't get how romantic attraction even works. Nevertheless, while I myself don't experience these sorts of attractions, I've noticed I tend to want people to be attracted to me. It's happened especially with people that I'd like to keep around - that is, people with personalities that are pleasant to me, that I can have a conversation with about things that interest me etc. and I'm just not sure why that is. I've mulled over the possibility that it's not actually linked to my sexuality and it's just something psychological; perhaps I just want people to give me attention? I feel quite secure with the aro/ace label, but this has still been bothering me.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I feel similar. I like being seen as sort of attractive however I tend not to notice others' advances and I'm not a fan of attention. I like to look decent, smell nice, etc. I'd say for me it's a fair bit about not wanting to be seen as 'slobbish'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Oh sure, there are plenty of different attractions other than romantic and sexual. I think it's pretty normal if someone want someone else to be attracted to them or some kind of attention. I'd say don't let it bother you too much, it's completely fine to feel like that. I do too sometimes. Not too much with my appearance, but with my personality. Though, I do tell myself to smile more instead of looking bored or unimpressed all the time. :lol: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
novis Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Wanting to feel desired/desirable is pretty common for me. Like I don't want to be hit on and I tend to avoid eye contact with people. But I also do my hair and make up most mornings and enjoy compliments. (That aren't meant to be anything else, I mean.) If like you say, it is about attention, it's not like there is anything wrong with that. *shrug* You exist in the world and you want people acknowledge you and find value in you. I think it's pretty common for people of any sexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I think there's a difference between wanting attention and wanting sexual activities. It depends on how you define "attraction". Wanting people to be attracted to you as a person is not bad at all. That's part of being a social animal. ;) I like people to like me. I don't want to attract enemies. But I kinda get freaked out when people hit on me to be honest. I'd prefer the more mature and subtle kind of romance. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Boudikka Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 Thank you all for your input. It has helped immensely. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nizzy01 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I think it's just quite flattering when you know that people find you attractive, so it makes sense that it's something you'd want Quote Link to post Share on other sites
That asexual guy Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I think everyone wants to be liked. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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