plaidclash Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Hey guys! I was searching under the "non-libidoist" tag and didn't find much... I'm 100% ace and I have absolutely no sex drive at all... no "itch" as some people call it. Never masturbated or anything, either (sorry for the TMI!!!) But anyway, I was wondering, how many of you guys have a low/no sex drive? I know a lot of ace people seem to "give themselves pleasure" but don't actually desire sex with OTHER people. I dunno, I just feel kinda lonely. Link to post Share on other sites
jimerman Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 i have no desire to go after a sexual or romantic partner. Link to post Share on other sites
hatfulofhollow95 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I'm the same. No libido, no need, no interest really. Kinda averse/repulsed at the whole thing actually, sexuality. Although I wonder if I say it like that people might think I look down my nose at them for having a sex life which totally isn't the case. It's only in relation to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Vega91 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Same here. Never felt any urge to touch myself, the whole thing just seems pretty pointless to me. (Obviously not making any judgments on others, this is just how I feel when it comes to my body.) I'm not sure if I'm masturbation repulsed or indifferent, hard to say. Link to post Share on other sites
animanova Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 No sex drive for me~ I've never wanted to masturbate, never have, don't even know what arousal feels like. Good thing I'm not the only one? Link to post Share on other sites
novis Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Hmm I used masturbate but not anymore. I never want to anymore. I do experience arousal but it more annoys me and I occupy myself with other things until the physical sensations pass. I can tell you though - you definitely aren't alone! I've read a few similar experiences on here. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 While I still primarily call myself nonlibidoist, I've found that I can get into and enjoy sexual interactions with my (libidoist) partner. The reason I still call myself that is because outside of those situations, I still have no compulsions toward any sort of sexual activity, on my own or otherwise. I've had someone throw the term "demilibidoist" at me before, which *might* be a more accurate descriptor of me. The main thing that keeps me from using the term definitively is the fact that, had my partner been nonlib like me, I'm pretty sure no sexual compulsions or interactions would take place, and I would have been perfectly fine with that. Whatever I do experience, it pretty much only comes out as a result of her and our interactions. It isn't something that just happens on its own, which is how I understand libido *generally* works. Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Another nonlibidoist here! : ) You're not alone! I never ever want to try masturbating...bleh...that is something I'm repulsed by...so I'm glad that I don't have a libido to get in the way of that! I do feel arousal when reading something racy, but I have no drive or urge to do anything about it. It fades really quickly when the stimuli is gone (aka I'm done reading that part lol), which is a relief haha. :P Link to post Share on other sites
RHD95 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I'm the same way too, I don't have and never had any urges to masturbate or any kind of sexual activity. When other people say that their bodies have "needs" and that they must "rub one off" I just can't relate at all, I have no clue what having a libido feels like. I did try masturbation once and got nothing out of it, it felt like rubbing my arm, zero pleasure. Doesn't matter if some say I'm missing out on something that supposedly feels so good, it's just pointless for me, why scratch if there's no itch to begin with? I don't think I'm better than anyone else for being a nonlibidoist, but seeing as others (either libidoist aces and sexual people) often claim how annoying their sex drives can be, I can say I'm glad I don't have one. Link to post Share on other sites
Artistofnoname Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Totally without either an need for a mate nor the act of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Princess_Rhaella_Stark Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Can anyone explain what a sex drive or a libido is? I seriously doubt I have either Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpy Alien Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Hey guys! I was searching under the "non-libidoist" tag and didn't find much... I'm 100% ace and I have absolutely no sex drive at all... no "itch" as some people call it. Never masturbated or anything, either (sorry for the TMI!!!) But anyway, I was wondering, how many of you guys have a low/no sex drive? I know a lot of ace people seem to "give themselves pleasure" but don't actually desire sex with OTHER people. I dunno, I just feel kinda lonely. I identify 100% with this Link to post Share on other sites
plaidclash Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 Can anyone explain what a sex drive or a libido is? I seriously doubt I have either A libido is basically your sex-drive... your desire for sex. A libido is not always paired with sexual attraction to other people. For example, if you feel the need to masturbate or feel arousal at all, that's your libido. Hope I helped a bit! Link to post Share on other sites
Annapox Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I don't have a libido, but I'm not repulsed, so eventually I might have sex for my partner's sake, but I don't want or need to masturbate. Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 If I should have a label, it would be something like "grey-libidoist". Because I can enjoy sexual pleasure, reading or watching erotica, but I don't feel any need. It's detached enjoyment. I just enjoy when it happens but I don't seek it and don't feel any "pressure to release something". Same with partnered sex too. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 If I should have a label, it would be something like "grey-libidoist". Because I can enjoy sexual pleasure, reading or watching erotica, but I don't feel any need. It's detached enjoyment. I just enjoy when it happens but I don't seek it and don't feel any "pressure to release something". Same with partnered sex too. I'm sorta like this :D Except that as I mentioned, whatever I can experience is pretty much linked specifically to my partner (so things like erotica or porn still would range from pointless to outright repulsive) so... I wouldn't necessarily say somebody was *wrong* if they were to call me gray or demilibidoist. I just know that there is a definite difference between what I experience and what my partner does, despite the fact that we're both able to share in that sort of pleasure. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruqiah Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 /adds myself to the count of non-libidoists in this thread I am a non-libidoist. I also do not self pleasure. Never felt a "need" to and quite frankly, I have no idea what this "need" is that self pleasurers speak of. Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 If I should have a label, it would be something like "grey-libidoist". Because I can enjoy sexual pleasure, reading or watching erotica, but I don't feel any need. It's detached enjoyment. I just enjoy when it happens but I don't seek it and don't feel any "pressure to release something". Same with partnered sex too. I'm sorta like this :D Except that as I mentioned, whatever I can experience is pretty much linked specifically to my partner (so things like erotica or porn still would range from pointless to outright repulsive) so... I wouldn't necessarily say somebody was *wrong* if they were to call me gray or demilibidoist. I just know that there is a definite difference between what I experience and what my partner does, despite the fact that we're both able to share in that sort of pleasure. So my experience is still much like you, because of course I may enjoy purely physical pleasure alone, but physical pleasure + real feelings... I know I can experience both with only one person in the world ! But of course sexual desire and pure libido are two quite different things for me, and really not at the same level of enjoyment even if I'm fine with not acting on sexual desire. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I don't even get the "physical pleasure alone" part. That's something my partner is both capable of and driven to do, but I'm not driven to it and I am not even sure it's something I'm capable of. To her, that's part of what separates her (as libidoist) from me (as nonlibidoist... or whatever else it is I actually am) Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Well, at least, I can tell you that you don't miss anything important. Physical pleasure is overrated. And extremely powerful "mental orgasms" can happen with ecstatic meditation or other completely non-sexual methods. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I can experience the physical sort of pleasure, and it's nice. But it only ever happens as a result of our interactions. Even if I try to do the same sort of stuff on my own, nothing really happens. It's like my body forgets how to respond. I suppose it would be a lot like touching one's own arm. On your own, it might not do anything special. But when a loving partner does it, it can potentially feel electric. Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I also do not have a libido and never masturbated since there really wasn't any need. I don't know... it did feel like of weird feeling like I was the only one who haven't felt that "itch". It's just another one of those things that seem so foreign to me. Honestly, I am pretty repulsed, but I'm not sex negative... or sex positive and whatnot. I just say sex neutral. I don't don't look down on anybody who does it and I don't really care if anybody does it or not. Like I really don't care at all, I couldn't care less. Link to post Share on other sites
Himegami Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 When my "libido" kicks up I usually just want to kiss and cuddle a little. Don't really have an "itch", per say. Not to say I haven't tried it. But it usually goes one of two ways for me: 1. Meh 2. Ow. Nope. I don't really have that urge where I "must must clear my pipes". I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Don't feel alone about it. :D Link to post Share on other sites
subzeropanic Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 *cracks fingers and stretches* Ok so my sex drive is the most complicated little f'er I have met. It's hot then cold yes then no on and on and on it's a nightmare. Sometimes I feel like 'yeah I could go for some sex but...." and then the list of things that need to "align" in order for me to actually want sex....it's like being overly picky. However, lately I haven't been wanting sex AT ALL. Like I can't even think about it. I find it so repulsive I avoid it completely. I would love to cuddle and hug and kiss the heck out of someone but I couldn't actually do anything sexual. That kind of relationship is almost impossible to find. Because of this I then get labelled with the term "tease" because I don't "give it". Which is ridiculous because I have nothing to give? It's just a mess man. This is why I get my cuddling needs from my dogs. It makes it awesome and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Per Aspera Ad Astra Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I have a very low sex drive. I have never felt the need to masturbate, and I am very sex-repulsed. I can experience arousal, but it's rather rare, and never strong enough for me to want to do something about it. So anything even remotely sexual is a big nope for me. I do love to cuddle and hug, though, and I'm a very tactile person. But it is nothing sexual and it isn't linked to arousal. It just makes me feel safe and happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Princess_Rhaella_Stark Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Can anyone explain what a sex drive or a libido is? I seriously doubt I have either A libido is basically your sex-drive... your desire for sex. A libido is not always paired with sexual attraction to other people. For example, if you feel the need to masturbate or feel arousal at all, that's your libido. Hope I helped a bit! Thanks thecanonfangirl! That's cleared it up! I've never really felt the need to anything sexual. Does that mean I have no Libido? Link to post Share on other sites
xLiraelx Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 EDIT post deleted Link to post Share on other sites
Medium_Soup Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 So, during puberty, I had a sex drive that was off the charts. Last October, I got myself my first real partner, and for the first 2-ish months, we seemed to have a pretty normal sex life. Recently, my sexual desire and attraction have plummeted, and not even with just him. I don't find myself sexually attracted to really anyone, no matter how appealing I find them. I do masturbate, but I really only get off from a fetish and not from watching others have sex. Could this be a sexual or hormonal thing? A relationship thing?? Link to post Share on other sites
ILoveMe Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I am with you. No libido, no interest, no fantasies, no thoughts about it whatsoever. I was thinking that I was alone in the feelings until I found this community. Link to post Share on other sites
plaidclash Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 So, during puberty, I had a sex drive that was off the charts. Last October, I got myself my first real partner, and for the first 2-ish months, we seemed to have a pretty normal sex life. Recently, my sexual desire and attraction have plummeted, and not even with just him. I don't find myself sexually attracted to really anyone, no matter how appealing I find them. I do masturbate, but I really only get off from a fetish and not from watching others have sex. Could this be a sexual or hormonal thing? A relationship thing?? Hm... the fact that you used to have a higher libido and it went away so fast could have something to do with hormones. I can't really give you any valid information because I have no experience or education here... maybe you could talk to your doctor? When my "libido" kicks up I usually just want to kiss and cuddle a little. Don't really have an "itch", per say. Not to say I haven't tried it. But it usually goes one of two ways for me: 1. Meh 2. Ow. Nope. I don't really have that urge where I "must must clear my pipes". I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Don't feel alone about it. :D This is EXACTLY how I feel! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.