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What Am I?


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I'm so sorry for asking, I feel like this question comes up daily but I can't figure this out on my own.

I've considered that I'm many things from lesbian, to bisexual, to homoromantic demisexual, etc.

I have zerooo romantic history to go from. I'm 19 years old and I've never been in a relationship. Sometimes I do wish I had that special connection that those in relationships have but honestly, most of the time I don't think about it or care at all. I enjoy friendships a lot and I love platonic connections. I don't find myself desiring sex 99% of the time but sometimes I feel like I just don't know what I'm missing.

I've had crushes, not a ton but enough that it wasn't just a one-time thing. I've had crushes on girls and guys.

I went on one date with a guy and it went well until he tried to hold my hand and kiss me and... no. I wasn't feeling it.

I tried going on a date with a girl too and I was having a fun time but had no real desire to touch her or kiss her or anything.

Stuff like that makes me think "Well of course you're asexual then!" but I still get crushes soo.... what does that mean?

Any help is appreciated! Thank you!

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I'd like to direct you here: http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html#def

Take it as a starting point, and maybe look some more into the terms that strike a chord for you. If it feels right... good chance it is. :)

What I can say now though is: just because you have crushes doesn't mean you're not asexual. That's a mistake I made for a long, long time.

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I think I should also mention that the idea of sex with a woman doesn't disgust me. The idea of sex with a man is a slightly more uncomfortable thought. Neither seems an impossibility but all the mushy gushy stuff before it seems strange and unnatural to me.

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There might be a little homo-something there, or it could just be that the more familiar body type is less stressing. I think it's worthwhile for you to look into both "asexual" and "aromatic" as possibilities. I do wonder whether an aversion/disinterest in physical contact would fall more under aromantic or asensual though...

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Asexual does not mean Aromantic.

There is Asensual; its a term more useful for romantics and means no sensual attraction; any kind of non-sexual sensual contact like holding hands, kissing, etc. Some can be repulsed by the activity and some are indifferent.

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Well, no one else can tell you how you feel but just judging from your description there.

It's perfectly ordinary to wonder what something is like or whether you might be missing out on something. Particularly the way everyone talks about sex. That sounds more like curiosity than an actual desire for sex but you're the only one who can know for sure.

When you have a crush on someone, what do you want to do with them?

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I personaly don't have crushes as I'm aromantic. From what I understand, romantic attraction includes usualy wanting to be in close proximity with someone, like cuddling or holding hands. I think you said you were not into that. Could your crushes be squishes instead, that is a desire to be friends?

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