Asexual who has no choice to avoid sex in future despite of never desiring it

[Radhika ritwik]

Hello friends!I am 20 years old indian girl.I came to know about asexuality via internet because I our country we are supposed to never think about sex and till now I thought everyone like me is samei.e never think about sex.But now knowing that thinking about sex is involuntary and people experience sexual attraction,I am quite conflicted inwardly.My problem is I never think about sex nor desire it but I get genital arousals due to both non sexual and sexual stimuli I.e whenever I get frightened due to something or if i encounter something sexual on movies even cuddling but i never get mentally aroused.My genital arousal is sometimes sudden unalarmed due to which I think I am sufferer of persistence genital arousal disorder.I just hate this genital arousal and want to eliminate it via meditation which is helpful for me but then my mind says if I don't entertain this arousal I will not be able to get aroused physically during sex after marriage & I can't avoid marriage because marriage is compulsory here.So,is there any asexual women who never think about sex nor desire it but respond normally during sex either to please their partner or for emotional reasons.I am romantic asexual,just hate the idea of sex

[Prisma]

There was a thread, either here or in the musing and ranting section, about "libido dysphoria". There are quit a lot of people there, including women, who are asexual but get physically aroused (and aren't really happy about it, to say the least). I suggest you take a look and see if their experiences can help you, and perhaps share your story there to get suggestions.

[Radhika ritwik]

Thanks!!!

[Mike D]

"I can't avoid marriage because marriage is compulsory here."

It's an extreme solution, but have you considered leaving India? If your culture is going to doom you to a lifetime of probably unhappy marriage, why subject yourself to it? Try living in Europe or America instead...there are plenty of places where you can be single forever and people won't think all that much of it.

[Radhika ritwik]

Ya!I can but that would be a totally different thing.I will need to adapt with new people having almost everything from language,culture,food to religion different from me and then living alone in a new place will be more vulnerable.I just hope I may get asexual partner in my own country...By d way thanks! 4 ur genuine suggestion.

[Mike D]

It's not an easy task, leaving one's homeland. But if it's that or a lifetime of unhappiness in a marriage to a man who wants what you can't give him, well...it's a choice to consider.

I work for a college in America and I know many Indian students. The Indian women I know are strong, independent people and tremendous scholars. They date whomever they want. If they can adjust, you probably can as well, if it comes to that! But perhaps you can indeed find a good partner in India. Either way, good luck to you.

[Radhika ritwik]

Thanks!! for your well wishes and giving me strength to stand for myself...

[Mike D]

Good luck out there! By the by, someone started an "asexual in India" thread that might interest you.

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/103270-being-asexual-in-india/

[Ashutosh Singh]

Ya!I can but that would be a totally different thing.I will need to adapt with new people having almost everything from language,culture,food to religion different from me and then living alone in a new place will be more vulnerable.I just hope I may get asexual partner in my own country...By d way thanks! 4 ur genuine suggestion.

Hey i m 19 from mumbai and a romantic asexual...!!!

[Member 92789]

Hello friends!I am 20 years old indian girl.I came to know about asexuality via internet because I our country we are supposed to never think about sex and till now I thought everyone like me is samei.e never think about sex.But now knowing that thinking about sex is involuntary and people experience sexual attraction,I am quite conflicted inwardly.My problem is I never think about sex nor desire it but I get genital arousals due to both non sexual and sexual stimuli I.e whenever I get frightened due to something or if i encounter something sexual on movies even cuddling but i never get mentally aroused.My genital arousal is sometimes sudden unalarmed due to which I think I am sufferer of persistence genital arousal disorder.I just hate this genital arousal and want to eliminate it via meditation which is helpful for me but then my mind says if I don't entertain this arousal I will not be able to get aroused physically during sex after marriage & I can't avoid marriage because marriage is compulsory here.So,is there any asexual women who never think about sex nor desire it but respond normally during sex either to please their partner or for emotional reasons.I am romantic asexual,just hate the idea of sex

Wow, I can relate to this! Im still not sure if im asexual yet..I think I might be. But I experience genital arousal sometimes as well. Like with watching a kissing scene in a movie, etc. Or If I see a really attractive guy. But The idea of sex scares me. Im not sure if I'd wanna do it..I get uncomfortable talking about it. But I do experience attraction towards guys want and to have a romantic relationship with them. But if they mention sex..I feel a repulsion and get uncomfortable.