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explaining sex and chemistry


AppleOfEve

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So i put this on here because i figured those who are sexuals can best explain to me, the difference between sexual attraction and chemistry. I myself have never really felt either. The lack of sexual attraction is a given for aces but what about chemistry? Any aces ever felt chemistry with someone? I've been try to menuvor around dating scene. In some ways finding out i am asexual has help a lot in many other ways its a disadvantage. Its a popular opinion nowadays, that if you are both attracted to each othervand have chemistry then you can/should sleep together.anyway, any sexuals or asexuals with insight and tips would be greatly appreciated.

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IMO chemistry would be related to but not the same thing as sexual attraction, because you can be sexually attracted to someone you've never met (like a celebrity) or to someone who has no interest in you. But, if there's chemistry, that implies that two people have a connection with each other (and there may not even need to be sexual attraction) that can lead to romance and/or sex very easily. As for experiencing it, I might have, though I'm not 100% sure since I have such limited experience. If it is what I've experienced (chemistry), it just means that I met someone whom I relate to very easily and naturally (IMO you could probably also have chemistry in a platonic sense), as though I've known them all my life. I had that with my best friend (a platonic example) and my current boyfriend (a romantic/sexual example).

But sexual attraction is just having the desire to have sex with a certain person, and can easily be a one-way street.

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For me chemistry is very separate to sexual attraction. I can have chemistry with someone but never become attracted to them, but if I'm attracted to someone chemistry will be an aspect of it (if that makes sense).

Chemistry comes from personality, being able to banter with them, make jokes and generally have a laugh, but really has nothing to do with the way they look or anything in an aesthetic fashion.

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Touchofinsight

"Chemistry" to me is just a fancy term for saying your personalities sync an you can get a long with each other. This is multifaceted. However let me also include that does not automatically mean you are "relationship material" for one another.

Common concepts may include sense of humor, communication styles, priorities in life, ideology, sexuality, etc.

Chemistry incorporates a lot of potential facets of both parties including sex/sexuality.

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I don't know what "chemistry" is and even with the description of people here I don't understand it. I'm probably too much a person of abstract and conscious thought. When I "get along" with someone it will be for conscious reasons and conscious choices. I think the "closest" thing to chemistry for me is when I throw a difficult concept into the room in a conversation and the other person knows what I'm on about. Or when I read a research paper by a renowned scientist and they introduce concepts that I've already introduced myself separately from them. Long story short, I actually have no idea at all what chemistry is. :D

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Notte stellata

I don't understand "chemistry" either. From the way the word is normally used, I think it means mutual romantic/sexual attraction driven by an inexplicable force (as in "He's great in every way, I like him as a friend, but there's no chemistry between us" or "I felt the chemistry the moment I met her"). The "inexplicable force" part doesn't happen to me. Like Tarfeather, I'm driven by rational and conscious thought. Whether I like or don't like someone, I know exactly why. And yes, the closest thing I can get is something I call "intellectual chemistry," like immediately getting each other's ideas and repeatedly saying "that's exactly what I think!" in conversations. But usually I just say "our minds are in sync" or "we're on the same wavelength" instead of "chemistry."

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"Chemistry" the way I have always heard it said is just two people who mesh well together for whatever reason. Two people could be polar opposites, but just fit right together and mesh well. Or, for example, Mr & Mrs Smith, the chemistry between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt was so blatantly obvious. Even strangers could tell those two were falling for each other. It translated so well BEYOND their characters and it infected their characters, making the absolutely awful movie have a realism at least in that part. Which is also why so many people refuse to believe that they didn't have sex before he left his wife, since they were just so OBVIOUSLY into each other and their chemistry was amazing.

Chemistry can also mean meshes well in other than romantic ways though. Two actors who work well together can be described as having excellent chemistry on screen. Nothing romantic in that, just they mesh well and complement each other.

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Sexual attraction is like feeling horny but the source of it isn't within, its coming from someone else. It's like that deeply satisfying feeling you get from a really good cuddle (hopefully you have a sex drive or appreciate sensuality because I don't know how to explain it in any other terms) except you're just being teased by it from some other human doing something or just being awesome and sexy and you either haven't touched them yet or you have but it wasn't enough to feel satisfied about how much touching them would be fantastic.

Chemistry is like a feedback loop of that feeling, when someone else really wants you and you really want them and you have similar/synced up ways that you touch and like to be touched, so it just builds on each other all crazy. It's like when you're having a really great conversation with someone and both of you are on the same page about everything, except the conversation is physical.
This can apply to sensual chemistry or chemistry between people who are falling in love through conversation, or whatever, as well.

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Chemistry is like a feedback loop of that feeling, when someone else really wants you

Okay so that at least explains why I have no idea what you're talking about..

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I don't know what "chemistry" is and even with the description of people here I don't understand it. I'm probably too much a person of abstract and conscious thought. When I "get along" with someone it will be for conscious reasons and conscious choices. I think the "closest" thing to chemistry for me is when I throw a difficult concept into the room in a conversation and the other person knows what I'm on about. Or when I read a research paper by a renowned scientist and they introduce concepts that I've already introduced myself separately from them. Long story short, I actually have no idea at all what chemistry is. :D

You sound like a fellow INTP ^_^

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I find no interest in delving into either...'sexual attraction' or 'chemical toxins'. Both are a threat to me!



Prof [Chem] :ph34r:

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You sound like a fellow INTP ^_^

:D I'm INFP/INTP indeed depending on what test I take.

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