Princess of Ruin Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I find it hard to understand how romantic love works. If you have spent years with somebody, it is normal to care about them and love them , but how can one "fall in love" with someone they barely know? When you meet someone and you talk about "love at first sight" isn't it more about the lust you feel rather than actual love? Is romance just mating tool ? ~Edit~: I just noticed that there is a similar thread here. You can delete this one if you want to .^^ Link to post Share on other sites
jimerman Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 i have no idea. call me a downer but i believe that people get caught up in the moment and want to believe that it is something more. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneMoon Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I think it might feel less complicate if people didn't separate love as romantic or platonic etc. but just refered to love as love (as an equal basis of all deep relationships) and attraction as attraction (which makes the relationship romantic/platonic/sexual etc.). Of course, the "love at first sight" saying comes from the fact that most people have a hard time making the difference between love and attraction... (Mostly with romantic attraction, because limerence can feel so powerful and it's enforced by culture...) : P But basically I would say that it is attraction (may be romantic or platonic or intellectual or anything) that is instant. Of course, there may be love that is in fact instant, like a parents love for a child even when they first see them, but... mostly when people talk about "love at first sight" they speak about romantic attraction, not actually love. So, yeah, basically I argue that there is no romantic love separate from platonic or any other kind of love. There's just love, and then there's attractions that colour love differently (or exist without love too). You could see romance as a mating tool, just like you could see any other type of attraction as a mating tool. I think we form attractions when what we percieve from a person clicks with our fantasies (of any kind). Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm guessing it's either lust, limerence or infatuation at first sight. Loving someone (doesn't matter what kind) includes getting to know the person and emotional bonding over time. At least that's how I experience love. Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 It is a emotional response that feels like love. It can be intoxicating and all you desire is the person you love. You want them to belong to you and you to belong to them. It is very magical. I felt it once. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 ^^What Perseus said.^^ Romantic love is not a rational creature. The best explanation I can give is you'll know it when you feel it (even if it's your first time), unless of course you happen to be one of those people who doesn't have the capacity to love others. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Incognito Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I don't know that I've ever experienced "love at first sight" since that might be more visual based attraction than romantic, but I understand feeling a connection to someone you don't know well... yet. I think part of romantic attraction is wanting to learn more about them and share experiences. Mating may or may not be a part of those experiences. I like to think that there are things in this world that go beyond rational explanations. If you think about it, do we ever really know anyone else completely? We can't hear their thoughts or feel what they feel, but that doesn't stop us from loving them romantically or otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I'm very romantic but I don't think I fall in love with people I don't know well. It's more infatuation, having those feelings and maybe asking them out on a date. Lust to me is more sexual, which is something I don't feel a lot, but I do understand limerence. Link to post Share on other sites
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