BIROMANTIC MARIO Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 The overview states that asexual individuals do not have an attraction this is completely untrue further down on the homepage it states the following: Attraction Many asexual people experience attraction, but we feel no need to act out that attraction sexually. Instead we feel a desire to get to know someone, to get close to them in whatever way works best for us. Asexual people who experience attraction will often be attracted to a particular gender, and will identify as lesbian, gay, bi, or straight. I am male and I am attracted to females I am attracted to other males I do not practice sexual relations with either and I am In a same sex marriage with a person that I have been having a relationship with for 14 years. Straight people, gay people, and just about everyone under the sun will look at my situation as if I'm from another planet. I find this amazing as most of these people from either preference for the most part are not able to maintain a safe and healthy relationship. The reactions I receive are usually of disapproval disbelief and just plain in awe. I am completely sexually healthy and when the desire comes I will seek self-satisfaction as I see this as a biological need which is satisfied in a matter of minutes. The healthy relationship iswhat requires from me nurturing learning adapting and working together which is way beyond a simple orgasm. It would be nice to hear your perspectives and beliefs on what I have just described. Mature responses are appreciated not childish thoughtless remarks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Froggles Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I do think your situation is interesting, but I don't see how this contradicts the asexuality overview here on AVEN. Can you expand on why you feel there is a contradiction? The overview simply claims asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, but it is very clear to explain that asexuals may experience many other types of attraction and engage in a wide variety of relationships. That seems to be inclusive of your situation, to me, no? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 The definition says that asexuals don't experience sexual attraction,not that they don't experience attraction at all. There are several types of attraction and sexual attraction is only one of them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BIROMANTIC MARIO Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Faerie fate: thank you for the information I was not aware of this it certainly does seem to come pretty close to me. I am 48 years old and this has been going on my entire life and to this day I still find it quite confusing. Bi-romantic is a term used in the asexual community to describe romantic attraction to more than one gender, despite the lack of sexual attraction. The above definition comes pretty close except for the fact that there is sexual attraction is well and that I simply choosing not to act on the sexual part of it. So there is attraction towards a romantic perspective as well as a sexual component, just not willing to apply sexual physical component of it. This is my first time posting on this website as I've had trouble getting on to it. I just checked out the chat room and I checked out quite quickly as it seemed like a bunch of children speaking in junior high school which is not The purpose why I joined this group. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Froggles Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 This is my first time posting on this website as I've had trouble getting on to it. I just checked out the chat room and I checked out quite quickly as it seemed like a bunch of children speaking in junior high school which is not The purpose why I joined this group. In my brief experience using the chat room, it's more about people relaxing and having fun. I've seen people ask serious questions there, and it seems that the room is generally fairly receptive to it, but the general vibe is more of a hangout than a Q&A session, which I think is what most people are looking for out of it. The forums, as I'm sure you've seen so far, are much better if you have specific questions or discussion topics you'd like to have serious dialogue about. BTW, welcome to AVEN! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I don't believe you can be asexual and bisexual. Maybe you are asexual with a bi-aesthetic attraction and bi-romantic. You can see both men and women aesthetically attracted, their bodies could even arouse you, but arousal is not sexual attraction, and even though you may be aroused by them, you can still not be sexually drawn towards them. I post this link that displays a model that I think holds true and can help fix any confusion. http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Primary_vs._secondary_sexual_attraction_model Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jimerman Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 i find it amazing how sexual people are. people try to hide it but one of the cool advantages of being ace is that we can see through the facade. i have been looking for a new partner and every time i tell them i am ace they are stunned or they say "is that really a thing". being in college everyone is so sex positive so i feel out of the loop. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 They need to change that overview to include the fact that asexual means no sexual attraction to anyone or little to no interest in sexual activity. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Eva Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 The overview states that asexual individuals do not have an attraction this is completely untrue You're overstating the matter. Mature responses are appreciated not childish thoughtless remarks. LOL. My response and/or remark is that you relax. You'll appreciate this site better if you do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MoraDollie Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Bi-romantic is a term used in the asexual community to describe romantic attraction to more than one gender, despite the lack of sexual attraction. The above definition comes pretty close except for the fact that there is sexual attraction is well and that I simply choosing not to act on the sexual part of it. So there is attraction towards a romantic perspective as well as a sexual component, just not willing to apply sexual physical component of it This is just a linguistic pet peeve of mine, but bi means "2", poly means "many" (but not all) and pan/omni means "all" (one prefix is greek, the other is latin). Asexuality is different from cellibacy and abstinence. Celibacy and abstinence is a conscious choice to not indulge in sex or sex-like activities (often for religious reasons, just not feeling it, etc). Asexuals, this "chose to refrain from whatever" isn't there to begin with. You can't chose to not have something, if that something isn't there to begin with. Here's a good analogy because those always seem to work great: a celibate or abstinent person (in the context of food) could chose to refrain from chocolate, because they're on a diet. An asexual person (in the context of food) just doesn't have any desire for the chocolate, period. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Faerie fate: thank you for the information I was not aware of this it certainly does seem to come pretty close to me. I am 48 years old and this has been going on my entire life and to this day I still find it quite confusing. Bi-romantic is a term used in the asexual community to describe romantic attraction to more than one gender, despite the lack of sexual attraction. The above definition comes pretty close except for the fact that there is sexual attraction is well and that I simply choosing not to act on the sexual part of it. So there is attraction towards a romantic perspective as well as a sexual component, just not willing to apply sexual physical component of it. This is my first time posting on this website as I've had trouble getting on to it. I just checked out the chat room and I checked out quite quickly as it seemed like a bunch of children speaking in junior high school which is not The purpose why I joined this group. Chat varies quite a bit. It goes from philosophy, to music, to random ramblings about cake in a blink of an eye. You can usually get a conversation on any topic you like started, which leads to the random nature of it. It's not uncommon to have 1-2 serious conversations going on along 2-3 silly ones in there. And yes, there are MANY types of attraction. Aesthetic, romantic and sensual attraction are things you will probably see mentioned often here. There are also "desirists" which go by a "asexual means no innate desire for partnered sexual activity" instead of attraction. The asexual community is rather varied even in how it defines itself. But, AVEN just means no SEXUAL attraction, which... definition is in the wiki for what AVEN means with that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BIROMANTIC MARIO Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 I do truly appreciate all your feedback it is very helpful and I believe warrants continues interaction. Not feeling well lately but do intend on continuing for now I feel I am in the right place for all of us to share our feelings, concerns and the drive to help others. I must admit the chat area made me feel as if I had made a mistake but your responses have reversed that. Does anyone know how to receive email when your post is responded to? After this 1st brief communication with you all I have already updated my profile name to "Biromantic Mario". Bless you all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I am not sure if you can set it to notify you if your post is responded to. The best thing I can think of is to just check your "topic" when you log in. You can find them in your profile. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I hope that helped. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Prairie Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 As far as I can tell, to get an email when a particular thread is replied to: Scroll to top of page. Near top-right: Follow this topic. Then in your username at top of page -> My settings -> Notification Options -> Notification method to use for replies to followed topics -> Email (you should only have to set this once). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I learned something new here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RoninA Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Or just click the 'follow this topic' button, top right next to the thread title - that should email you all responses in the topic. Works for me... :-) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 There are also "desirists" which go by a "asexual means no innate desire for partnered sexual activity" instead of attraction. Ha, 'desirist', that's a great term - I'll keep it in mind for future debates! :P Welcome to AVEN, Mario! Hope you'll like it here. I can relate to some of the things you've written - I also felt like someone from another planet for a very long time. I didn't even know that so many other biromantic asexuals existed, I felt so strange with my (I thought!) non-existent orientation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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