PhantomAvenger Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 So the only person I've come out to is my sister-in-law a few days ago Well today her, myself, and two of my close friends went out and at the restrant we went to I made a comment about the really cute server dude and she tried to push me into giving him my number. I like to look but no interest in touching. Not my thing. Then later today we were all talking and I commented on a guy friend coming to stay the weekend since everyone else is going out of town and I don't drive nor do I like to be home alone for days. She kept like giving me this look asking what we get up to while everyone is gone and I told her we chill and watch movies. So she starts asking "oh is that all you do?" And when I insisted yes she just kept ask "Really? Reeeeally?" How do I get her to understand that yes I'm not at all interested in sex? And that no this doesnt mean I can't enjoy looking? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CNGB Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Explain asexuality as a whole to her, rather than just saying you "like to look, but not to touch." Have you done that yet? It might help. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PhantomAvenger Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 Explain asexuality as a whole to her, rather than just saying you "like to look, but not to touch." Have you done that yet? It might help. She knows what it is, we had a long talk about it when I came out to her Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Educate them on the terminology and use how you feel as evidence. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zapstileon Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 You can't get her to understand. If explaining it doesn't do the trick, then only time and her open mind will tell. You can't force it. Goodness knows I've tried. In order to understand something you have never experienced, never imagined existed, you have to teach your brain to see things very differently, and that's no easy thing to do. Give your sister time. I'm not saying give up, just put yourself in her position for a moment. She probably never knew there was such a thing as asexual. Now she has to re-program her own way of thinking. It's not going to happen over a few days. Stand your ground and be patient. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CNGB Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I have to go with MoonWish on this. If you've already had a discussion about this--and a lengthy one at that--then the rest is all up to her, and not you. I suggest trying to be patient. Do your best to not snap at her about her lack of understanding, and always remind her about things. Eventually she might get it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 To most sexuals (maybe all sexuals), indicating that you think someone's cute/goodlooking causes them to think you're sexually interested in that person, and she's probably puzzled about how asexuals can be aesthetically attracted but not sexually attracted. Probably a good idea would be to either not make those remarks in her presence, or just explain the aesthetic-not-sexual thing. But if she doesn't understand, leave her alone, as CNGB says -- it's up to her. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
frog_snog Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I'm new to this, just found out I'm not alone and was so excited to find a community of likeminded people. Anyway, I came out to my friends last night and this was their response: "But why do you feel the need to label yourself? I know a lot of people who don't feel like having sex and they don't use a label." Anyone have good constructive responses to this kind of stuff? Like I said, I'm new to this and am not able to articulate how I feel as well as I'd like yet. Doing some more research and hopefully that will help, but in the meantime...help! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CNGB Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I'm new to this, just found out I'm not alone and was so excited to find a community of likeminded people. Anyway, I came out to my friends last night and this was their response: "But why do you feel the need to label yourself? I know a lot of people who don't feel like having sex and they don't use a label." Anyone have good constructive responses to this kind of stuff? Like I said, I'm new to this and am not able to articulate how I feel as well as I'd like yet. Doing some more research and hopefully that will help, but in the meantime...help! "Because there is a difference between not liking sex all the time and not feeling sexual attraction, period." Then introduce your friends to AVEN. It's not the same thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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