Questions with Demisexuality

[thatmusicdork]

This experience happened 2 months ago but now that I know about the AVEN community, I'm curious to what you guys would have to say about it. I posted it on my tumblr and a couple of my followers could relate and would like some general answers.

Being someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction without emotional attachment is hard in many social situations. For example let me tell you a story of last night:

My friend/coworker and I went to the bar after closing up the frozen yogurt shop we work at. Everything was fine for the majority of the night (besides these two creeper guys). She ends up dancing with this guy and the next thing we know that at the end of the night we’re driving to his place to hang out. I meet a couple of his roommates and although one of them is very handsome, I knew nothing was going to happen. He was too busy getting high and we just sat on the couch talking about music before he started to fall asleep. My friend in the meantime is in the other guy’s room doing whatever. She’s the one who told me that she had to wake up early and it’s almost 4 in the morning by the time I’m able to tell her that we should leave.

I have no problem being left alone like that since I’m not going to do casual hookups. It’s just hard because 90% of the time that’s what is expected to happen but when it doesn’t like in my case, I’m just sitting there bored. The other guy I was with wasn’t making a move or anything which is good because I would have rejected him anyway but he was too high/tired to really have a conversation. I basically had to entertain myself by watching some weird movie while the tv was on mute.

Obviously I wouldn’t let my friends go to a guy’s house by themselves unless I was asked to go which my friend asked me. So what is a girl like me to do? I like going out to dance and be around people but when you’re with friends who want to be in a sexual situation and you’re playing the role of wingwoman, what are you supposed to do?

Sidenote: How the heck do you date when:
1. You’ve never been on a date or in a relationship
2. You don’t want to have your vagina consumed by some dude’s dick just for the heck of it but because he’s your boyfriend and you’re emotionally attached to him?

[chromanebula]

You may want to look for guys who share your same feelings. I know of one at my school that I really like, but I'm too scared to act on it.

[Rising Sun]

One-night stands aren't something that most sexual people like to do. Some students do them only because of competition with others or because they want to do something viewed as "cool" by others (same thing with drugs and alcohol too).

Don't worry, a lot of boys are actually more romantic and less sexual than what they would say in public.

The best way to date a compatible person is still to make friends first. Whatever some people say,there is nothing wrong with this.

[thatmusicdork]

Yea I'm definitely a "friends first" kind of person or at least that's what I feel like would be more beneficial for me. It's hard to say what you like/what you don't like when you have yet to experience it first. But if you're friends with someone who is sexual and she wants you to go with her to some guy's house (expecting you to probably hook up with his friend/roommate) but you don't want to, what do you do? I don't know if I'll be put in that situation again but since I have no interest in one night stands, how do you deal with the situation especially since you still want your friend to be safe (hence why you go with her if she asks).