What am I? O.o

[TumblrIsLife]

Hello, mates. I'm kinda confused about my sexuality.

Okay, so since I knew of myself, I knew that I was gay. Girls really never interested me, and I think guys are much muuuch hotter. You know how people discover that they are gay? Well, I always knew that I am gay. But I guess what I discovered was that I am asexual.

So I get aroused when I see hot guys, but I never actually want to have sex with them. I'm turned on, but nevertheless I don't want to have sex. The whole act of sex is just very, hmh, disgusting(?) to me. I mean, not really disgusting, but just weird. I don't think I would ever be comfortable being naked in front of someone, let alone have the actual sexual act with someone. It would just be very uncomfortable to me.

I did masturbate before, but it kinda become boring with time. It was kinda excitingy when I first discovered the whole thing, but it's just not anymore.

At first I thought I am just abstaining or in a celibate - but when I went to research about abstaining and asexuality, I found out that being abstinent means that you refuse or don't want to have sex even if you're into the whole sex thing. Whilst I find the whole act just not something that I would enjoy.

So what am I? I think that I am homoerotic, but asexual. Could that be it?

Thank you in advance. :)

[RK800]

One of my rules is that I prefer to not tell people what or who they are; just a little moral I have.

But here are some definitions that might help you:

Asexual: A person who does not feel sexual attraction or (a less common definition) a person who does not desire sex. This doesn't mean the person never gets aroused they just don't experience sexual attraction.

Gray-asexual/graysexual: A person who experiences sexual attraction rarely or a person who experiences sexual attraction but not strong enough to act on it.

Sensual attraction: A feeling of wanting to do something sensual with an individual. i.e. hugging, cuddling, kissing, etc.

Romantic attraction: A feeling of wanting to be in a relationship with an individual. i.e. dating, marriage, etc.

Aesthetic attraction: A feeling of visual admiration, seeing a person as beautiful the same way you might see a painting as beautiful.

A person can be hetero-romantic, homosensual, aromantic, etc. just like with sexual orientations.

[Froggles]

It's entirely up to you as to whether or not you think you should identify as asexual. It sounds like you have a lot of different feelings going on, and not all of them are necessarily related. Finding the idea of having sex uncomfortable or weird is something I think most people feel at some point, even people that are not asexual. For some people this goes away with time and experience, and for others it never really goes away.

This feeling is not always tied to sexual attraction or desire, either. Using myself as an example, I find intimacy uncomfortable and weird, but I have grown more comfortable with it as I've gotten older and had more intimate experiences with others. The desire for sex, though, has just never occurred for me, and that seems to only be reinforced by intimate experiences with others.

In my opinion, the real take away is to figure out what makes you happy and pursue that. Don't stress over the labels, but figure out the best way to describe your situation to those you need to describe it to - whether it's on this forum, to a romantic partner, to family, or otherwise. Past that, all that really matters is that you continue to search for an understanding of yourself and don't let anyone tell you what you are or aren't!

Good luck, and welcome to AVEN!

[jimerman]

i would say that you are more of a window shopper. you wan to look but you don't want to slip it on. i'm in an odd state where i want to try a gay relationship but i don't want to have sex.

[Perseus]

Welcome to AVEN. It sounds like you could be asexual and homo-aesthetic or maybe you are Demi-homosexual. I get where you are coming from with being aroused by guys but not having sexual attracted to them. That arousal could just be your libido/ sex drive. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.