Questions regarding kinks?

[SakuraBlossom13]

Okay, so, I'm sure things like this have been asked before but because it can be such an individual question I wanted to ask.

First, I know that those who are asexual can still experience kinks and libido. I would fall under this category. However, and I'm not sure just how graphic/explicit we can get on here (I've read the rules but I've got a terrible memory. I'm assuming because this is about sexuality that it should be okay? If not, please tell me and I can fix it!) but to help better understand where my confusion is, I want to share what I mean by kinks.

For me, I do experience libido and arousal which I do take care of through masturbation but it's really just to get rid of that feeling. The orgasm is okay, but I honestly just don't see the big hype about it to be honest. Anyways, the kinks that get me "going" never has anything to do with the opposite sex, it's more so things like... The idea of pregnancy because I want a child, not because of sex, just to name an example.

I also do writing back and forth with others in a roleplaying format. Sometimes there are things of an explicit nature and I like to write about that kind of thing... But it doesn't do anything for me. I only feel things with the example of the pregnancy idea because I want children, not because of the sexual act and if sex happens to occur in what I'm writing, I never enjoy it nor do I like reading about it in that kind of setting or even in a book.

So I guess my confusion lies with understanding how/why I could feel enjoyment from kinks and writing but not feel anything from the writing so to speak? I feel like I'm talking in circles and I deeply apologize. Hopefully this makes sense?

I half wonder if this is because I'm more interested in the romance side of things and that's why I enjoy writing it? Because in our society it's very sex driven and so reaching sex usually means reaching a deeper connection (and I use usually to fit with social "norms") so I see it as a romantic climax and not a sexual one?

I'm not sure if anyone can even answer this or not, but I'd be interested in seeing others opinions on the matter.

We just watched the (A)sexual documentary at our school today which opened up these questions to me.

Thank you!

[Guest]

I'd say it sounds like romantic fantasys. Which is a ok , also I can't believe you watched an ace video in school , cause in my highschool we had like 1million sex talks about every possible thing to do with sex , and the teachers always said that its ok for teens to want sex so don't feel ashamed , but no one ever mentioned asexuality ,!! Unfair !!

[SakuraBlossom13]

I'm in college. Haha. I'm sorry if that lessens the excitement a bit. D: Our Pride Center at my university put this on as an awareness program for a series they're doing.

I agree, though, that school's should say it either way. It would help those who are already starting to notice their lack of sexual attraction feel a lot better.

I should mention that I took a quiz (because I was bored and I'm sure many others have done so to see what they say. Haha!) that actually hit the nail on the head for me. It was talking about me being Gray-A but also more of a self sexual asexual. I'm okay with sexual feelings (libido) but I don't want anyone else to come in and help out with said "feelings". I'm totally fine doing it myself (even though sometimes it kind of feels like a chore and just going through the motions) but that literature, art, kinks, and so on, are what cause the feelings but not a specific person.

It was just an interesting thing and I was surprised it actually answered this question well.