Female bodied people who wears men clothes, share your shopping experiences

[BlueNinja]

I decided I'd add my two cents worth to this. I'm a small female, but I wear mens clothes. When it comes to jeans, I like to get them a bit baggy and longer than probably a lot of people would enjoy, so a size 28 fits me well. They're fairly easy to find; I got my first pair in Target in 2012 and have never looked back. When it comes to t-shirts, I'm an XXS, which is a bit harder to find, but if I go to those annoying teenager type shops or mens boutiques, I can normally get decent prints for a good price (providing they're on sale).

I used to be quite anxious about buying mens clothes, considering I'm a female and all, but after a few years it's kind of become second nature because it's what I'm comfortable in, not what I should be wearing.

[Isa]

Small-ish and slender female here too who likes to wear men's clothes. o/ Women's clothes are pretty looking but most of them are very uncomfortable and unpractical. Especially finding shoes is a pain, cuz most of women's shoes have high heels, and men's shoes would be otherwise perfect but they're all too big for me. Pants are another headache. Shirts are the easiest ones to find. I rather dress in more or less baggy clothes than the ones that are so tight they mess with blood circulation if you sit in certain position and your buttcrack is showing if you bend over or sit down, or make your feet hurt etc.

I don't shop in cloth stores usually, though. I rather use second-hand stores and online stores. Thus there hasn't been any annoying situations with staff. c:

[Flying Ace]

I wear unisex clothing most of the time, and buy most of my stuff online, because of all those things you mentioned :P

When I browse online, I can avoid annoying questions, (or staff who say "can I help you" and get me all awkward).
I do wear female shirts because I just know I will get stared at more if I wear men's, and that's one thing I'd rather avoid.

Winters are easier because I can just bulk up on jackets and sweaters, and nobody notices a thing.
I did find a rather cool site online recently where I can buy cool loose briefs as well :P

[SkyWorld]

I want to go the men's section, but I'm afraid of what people would think and I think it's a shame. It's just clothes and it's really not that big of a deal. I really shouldn't care what other people think of me... but I do... I try to find some gender neutral clothing in the women's section, but they're really really hard to find. Most of the clothes are too thin, tight, and low cut. What was accepted of me was to look at the hoodies in the mens section and I wear a large hoodie almost everyday. Rarely would I wear something else. Whenever I get clothes from the women's section, I always leave with not much stuff. I want to shop in the mens section... but I also don't want to get judged for it. I mean, that'd be nice.

[DigitalBookDust]

Re: women's shoes. Have you checked out Doc Martins? They are awesome shoes and boots and don't look girly. You just have to be careful to get the right size, b/c they're sized in UK sizes. For example, I wear a size 5 in the US but a size 2.5 in the UK. Also, pay attention to what colour laces you wear in your Docs, as different colour laces signify different group affiliation, some of which are definitely undesirable (like white supremacist skinheads).

[daveb]

SkyWorld, and anyone else who wants to shop in a different department -

I know how daunting it is! Believe me, I spent way too many years too afraid to do it. Then, little by little, I made steps towards doing it. And now I do it whenever I want and enjoy it. Some things to think about: 1. You have every right to be there. 2. Money doesn't have a gender (in spite of whose face might be on it). 3. People shop in the "wrong" department all the time, whether it's to buy something for someone else or for themself. 4. Most salespeople either don't care or are happy to help. 5. Other shoppers either won't notice, won't care, or will think it's cool. 6. If anyone who has a problem with it that's their problem. Salespeople will lose a sale; you can take your money elsewhere. If strangers don't like it it doesn't really matter, you probably won't see them again.

Honestly, since I've been going out and shopping (I tried a few times early on in male mode; either buying some stuff along with other items so it looked like I was buying gifts or something, or actually admitting it was for me and getting help from the SAs, who seemed happy to help.) I've had mostly great experiences (the worst experiences haven't been bad at all, just so so, like being ignored or finding the place too busy with long lines for dressing rooms, Yes, it can be daunting, but it can get easier the more you do it.

I would encourage anyone who wants to shop "across the aisle" to go for it. "Own it", as they say. And have fun! :)

[Dodecahedron314]

Re: women's shoes. Have you checked out Doc Martins? They are awesome shoes and boots and don't look girly. You just have to be careful to get the right size, b/c they're sized in UK sizes. For example, I wear a size 5 in the US but a size 2.5 in the UK. Also, pay attention to what colour laces you wear in your Docs, as different colour laces signify different group affiliation, some of which are definitely undesirable (like white supremacist skinheads).

100% this. I own two pairs of Docs (paradox, hehe), one black and one a sort of battered off-purple, both older than me, and I've worn them almost every single day (sans marching season, because no way can you march in them--believe me, I've tried) since I was about 13. Both were $3 at the thrift store. And they most definitely do not look girly. Just beware of the knockoffs they're selling in a lot of retail stores nowadays--they're most likely made in China and not the real deal. Sadly, even some genuine Docs are made in China now, and nothing against the Chinese, but I've heard these new ones don't last nearly as long as the old ones, which can take pretty much everything you throw at them for years and years. If at all possible, get the British-made ones, those are the ones that will last through years of daily wear.

I never knew about the thing with the color of the laces, though...I don't suppose there's a handy list anywhere so I don't inadvertently make people think I'm in a racist cult or anything?

[Amoeba-Proteus]

Doc Martins are pretty great. Those things last forever. ^_^
The boots are the worst thing to break in, but once they're broken in, they're super comfy.

[thegreatwolf]

I managed to find a small list it isn't much but gives some info I'd share but I can't put links in just type in doc martins colored lace meanings and you can find some results (ex. white means white supremacist, red communist or racist ect) but for the most part it doesn't mean anything in some parts anymore so its a case of depending on where you live also on getting them make sure your foot shape will fit I tried to find some for myself but I couldn't get my foot into them due to the shape.

[Kazu]

I'm not a fan of buying clothes either or well... let me rephrase that, I like buying clothes but the clothes I like aren't available in my area or don't fit me well. I also tend to dress fairly gender neutral (lots of sweaters, jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, and button-ups) and trying to find gender neutral clothing in the junior's section that don't feel odd is really hard! (why is everything so tight???? and short?????? I mean some things are cute but even if it fits right it's most likely not my taste,,,) I'm not out to my family so I'm weary to even suggest looking in the guys's section since I worry it could end badly. Once I can, I want to shop online since majority of the clothes I like are all available online but I'll need to actually try things on to figure out what size I am. (and I'm too worried about being confronted if I went to an actual store) I'm on the small side (I'm a 5'4" twig) and when I got my approximate measurements I was just barely too small for the men's XS for thing I was looking at. (there's hope for me assuming I'll be able to shrink the things in the wash \o/). As for the shoe thing, I'm surprised some people have been saying women's shoes are uncomfortable. I haven't tried men's shoes so I can't compare them but I haven't found them to be particularly bad. Then again, I only wear tennis shoes or running shoes with the exception of boots during the winter months. I wish I could wear converse but my feet are so awkwardly proportioned they hurt a ton!

Man, after reading this it makes me wonder if there are any clothing companies out there that actually make gender neutral clothing designed for gender nonconforming, trans, and/or nonbinary folks. I'm sure one exists somewhere. I wonder what their sizing chart is like

[Ruqiah]

Honestly, I've gotten more confusion coming from servers or customers at my work than at a clothing store. At the clothing store, fella will take a glance at me, then maybe a double take, but that's about it. I've never gotten comments. The lady at Subway today, on the other hand, was having a real hard time telling if I was a male or not. She called me sir a few times, ma'am once, then back to sir again. xD I am cisfemale, but it does feel nice to be called sir (I'm not really sure why I prefer sir over ma'am, though).

But as other posters have said, I don't think it really matters anymore what section you shop in. No one's ever had a complaint anyways, maybe bat a few eyelids but they certainty had nothing to say to me.

Kazu, I know the feels. Female clothes just aren't practical. Too thin and see through-y. Apparently it's fashionable to wear layers to make one shirt, but that's more hassle to me. And a waste, really. Also, for me personally, I have wide feet. Even women's wide shoes are still too narrow for me. I used to wear knockoff converse a lot, the ones Journeys would sell, or male skater shoes. Those were way more comfortable and fit right in all areas. That's my particular problem, though. Other people may not like the styles that are available for women (heels, clogs, sandles, flats, etc). To them, those may be physically or aesthetically uncomfortable (they are for me, but then again, I have really wide feet so it's borderline painful).

I did notice something that somewhat disturbed me. It is regarding cargo pants. I love them. Particularly the brown, greys, and blacks. I have not been able to find any long cargo pants in the female sections for years, though. They still sell them for men, but for women, it's only capris, which I don't really like. I'd love to wear the mens ones, but there's too much room in certain parts. If anyone in USA knows a chain store that sells em for women, please let me know. ~Or if there's men ones that aren't so roomy in the crotch, I'd like that too.

[Amoeba-Proteus]

I normally shop in the men's section, but a few days ago, I had to do the unfortunate bra shop. As much as I love wearing my binder, I don't want to wear the thing every day, so I still need something.
Anyways, I came across the sport bra I normally wear. Mine are getting a little stretched out, which becomes a major issue when they don't flatten as nicely as I want them to (I like them tight fitting so they kind of bind on their own to an extent.) I couldn't remember which size I wear, so I had to try one on. So I bring this thing over to request a change room.

Well it just so turns out, this was one of the days I went out as a guy. So the woman at the change rooms gave me a hell of an eyebrow raise when I held up the bra, and gave me a full up-down-up again look, followed by a "Uh... sure. Just... pick one."

I thought that was pretty rich. :P

[VicFury]

PREACH.

I'm a cis female myself, and like to wear men's shirts because they are SO much more comfortable and you don't have to have a waist the width of a needle to fit into them. Also I generally prefer the sizes and like to have room to breathe in my clothes. I'm sick of being judged for this, we have a right to wear whatever the hell we like thank you very much.

The other day I walked into a shop and picked up an X-Men shirt (I'm a big Marvel fan) and when I plainly asked a shop assistant if they had any in a small or medium she gave me a look of pure horror and walked away. Other comments I have received include "those are not for girls", "oh so you're a lesbian then?" (for the love of all that is holy, tell me how buying a man's hoodie in any way indicates my sexuality!!!) and "can't you fit into females' clothes? There is a plus size section you know" (that's just plain rude. I'm not especially fat and I'll have you know that when I do wear women's clothes I am a comfortable size 10)

I've started shopping online more and might just do this all the time now to save myself from having to bite my tongue to resist the urge to cuss angrily at the incompetent staff and customers in clothing stores.

[Busrider]

I had a girlfriend who unfortunately came in pedestrian garb and took her to a 2nd hand biker clothes shop, no comments at all.

[AwkwardAntelope]

I've never had comments when shopping in the dudes section. It helps that if I'm buying clothes, I only shop in department stores cos I'm not concerned about brand etc. This usually means that there's no staff around and I've found that most dudes don't shop for themselves anyway - seems to always be their wives shopping for them. I've been told by several people that I tend to give off a "don't eff with me" vibe 99% of the time so this could be a contributing factor to the lack of harassment in the mens section.

[scarletlatitude]

I like to dress gender neutral, but I usually have to stick to the women's section because I am so petite. Really even petite sizes are too big for me. I have to look for the special short section. <_< I just found jeans that I really like, but since they are petite, they are 6 inches too long. From what I've seen men's pants don't exist in my length. They get their pants tailored.

I don't get why women wear shoes that are so uncomfortable. I have one pair of Toms, another pair of flat shoes from Easy Spirit, my running shoes, and that's it. Really why would you even bother with heels? They make me hurt and I look like a baby giraffe trying to walk for the first time.

I have a problem with shirts, especially female cut shirts. My waist is a size 6. My chest is a size 14. I still don't know what to do about that. If it has buttons, I generally leave it alone.

While we are here, what is with the obsession with women and bags? Why do you need 84 different kinds of purse? And can we talk about the lack of pockets in women's clothes!! Maybe I want to carry stuff too! (sorry kinda got off topic)

[DigitalBookDust]

Original Tomboy makes wonderful t-shirts with pockets that look way cool! I'm planning on ordering the camo top-it has two pockets! They also make a beanie with a pocket!

[daveb]

As a guy who shops in the women's department (usually dressed en femme) I'll let you in on a little secret. A lot of it is about attitude. If they give you any, give it right back! :)

Seriously though, confidence is a big factor. If you don't have it try to fake it if you can. Hopefully it will self-reinforce with time and practice and you will gain real confidence. It did for me.

[DigitalBookDust]

Confidence is definitely a factor! That's why I dress strictly to please myself, no-one else! If the world doesn't like what I wear, f^ck it! As long as I'm not unhygienic, it's no-one's business what I wear! I always make sure I'm neat and smartly dressed when I go to work. But it doesn't matter what dept the clothes came from. And my gender identity and expression thereof is up to me, not to be decided by society.

[kiaroskuro]

I like to dress gender neutral, but I usually have to stick to the women's section because I am so petite. Really even petite sizes are too big for me. I have to look for the special short section. <_< I just found jeans that I really like, but since they are petite, they are 6 inches too long. From what I've seen men's pants don't exist in my length. They get their pants tailored.

I don't get why women wear shoes that are so uncomfortable. I have one pair of Toms, another pair of flat shoes from Easy Spirit, my running shoes, and that's it. Really why would you even bother with heels? They make me hurt and I look like a baby giraffe trying to walk for the first time.

I have a problem with shirts, especially female cut shirts. My waist is a size 6. My chest is a size 14. I still don't know what to do about that. If it has buttons, I generally leave it alone.

While we are here, what is with the obsession with women and bags? Why do you need 84 different kinds of purse? And can we talk about the lack of pockets in women's clothes!! Maybe I want to carry stuff too! (sorry kinda got off topic)

Yep, I'll never understand this thing about women and their bag and shoe obsession. Why women wear high heels of their own free will is a mystery to me.

Question to all of you: What kind of shoes do you guys wear in the summer? Ballerinas or pumps are absolutely out of the question, but I hate wearing sandals too ... are there any alternatives at all? I'd love to wear my sneakers all year round, but I can't stand sweaty feet (well, no one does). Ah summer, you better be short this year.

[Kanenas]

I found the first pair of men's jeans this week that was not outrageously huge and got it tailored. Usually they're tents for me. Guys, my wallet fits in the front pocket. The tears!

Anyways, I came across the sport bra I normally wear. Mine are getting a little stretched out, which becomes a major issue when they don't flatten as nicely as I want them to (I like them tight fitting so they kind of bind on their own to an extent.)

Ugh, the dread! I throw my sports bras into the machine and wash them just a little too hot, that helps for the longest time. And I also find that throwing them in the dryer will tighten them again to their fullest potential. I cannot physically afford to wear a binder (don't want to make my chronic pain even worse) and so that is very important to me.

Question to all of you: What kind of shoes do you guys wear in the summer? Ballerinas or pumps are absolutely out of the question, but I hate wearing sandals too ... are there any alternatives at all? I'd love to wear my sneakers all year round, but I can't stand sweaty feet (well, no one does). Ah summer, you better be short this year.

I wear skate shoes exclusively (then again, I spend my life skating exclusively :lol: ) and had sweaty feet maybe one single day last summer. By that I mean brands, though. Cheapo skate shoes are unfortunately junk. All other items are always no-name for me, no brands. But in shoes, you really see a difference in comfort and durability. Etnies, Emerica, Vans, C1RCA, DVS, DC, éS, Fallen, Lakai, Osiris, Adio, Supra, etc... Even those slave drivers Nike and Adidas have put out quality skate shoes recently. The upside is that they all come in tons of colors and materials, shapes and thicknesses, are very durable and allow your feet to breathe. The downside is that they are more expensive.

I would recommend you Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars, I used to wear those for years, but... Of course I know you're vegan, too. Those past two or three years their glue has been of mysterious origin, Converse was not able to say whether it's of animal origin or not.

[Amoeba-Proteus]

I wear skate shoes all-year-round. ^_^
Summer? Skate shoes. Snow? Skate shoes. I have wide feet, and they're often the only footwear that's comfortable for me.

I do have silver sequin high-tops, black/silver wingtips, and a pair of space boots I'll wear once in a while though... Whenever I feel like looking a little "fabulous". :P

Edit: Purses and high heels. I don't get it.
I can't stand shoes with even a slight heel on them. And I don't own anything I feel needs to be carried with me 24/7 that requires a whole bag to be carried. The only thing is textbooks/notebooks in a backpack. Anything else that's important can fit in my pocket.

[Ziggy_G]

Its really interesting to me that some of you have had weird comments and such, I've never had any problems shopping in the guys section, although I don't really do it that often and sometimes I with guys. I'm kinda small so guys stuff is usually a baggy fit look, though I like a bit of that in my wardrobe.

I've actually found myself going shopping with genderqueer & mtf transgendered friends in the female section and thats always weird for ppl.

On a related note, anyone else been told that they look feminine even when wearing mens cloths, I'm not like going for a masculine look or anything, but being told I dont even have that of an options feels mean, and yet they act like its the greatest compliment. >eyeroll<

[Purnkin Spurce]

I've never had those issues, but I'm definitely afraid to go to the dressing room and them judging me because I'm carrying in men's shirts and pants.

[AstralFist]

The only female clothes I own are bra's.

Lol it's not my fault the men section has every thing I like.

I have yet to run into any store clerics who care about what I am buying though.

But then again I do look like a guy 90% of the time so...

[kiaroskuro]

I wear skate shoes exclusively (then again, I spend my life skating exclusively :lol: ) and had sweaty feet maybe one single day last summer. By that I mean brands, though. Cheapo skate shoes are unfortunately junk. All other items are always no-name for me, no brands. But in shoes, you really see a difference in comfort and durability. Etnies, Emerica, Vans, C1RCA, DVS, DC, éS, Fallen, Lakai, Osiris, Adio, Supra, etc... Even those slave drivers Nike and Adidas have put out quality skate shoes recently. The upside is that they all come in tons of colors and materials, shapes and thicknesses, are very durable and allow your feet to breathe. The downside is that they are more expensive.

I would recommend you Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars, I used to wear those for years, but... Of course I know you're vegan, too. Those past two or three years their glue has been of mysterious origin, Converse was not able to say whether it's of animal origin or not.

Well I don't skate, but why not try skate shoes? Sounds like a good idea! It just never crossed my mind that they might be a good option for the summer. Thanks for naming all those brands, I'll be sure to check them out.

As for my beloved Chucks (a little too chunky for me during the summer months) ... please don't tell me they use animal glue!? This can't be true. Ah, there are some things you'd rather not know ... but blissful ignorance ain't the way, either.

On a related note, anyone else been told that they look feminine even when wearing mens cloths, I'm not like going for a masculine look or anything, but being told I dont even have that of an options feels mean, and yet they act like its the greatest compliment. >eyeroll<

Hm, nobody explicitly told me I looked feminine, but yep, I know where you're coming from. Gotta hate it.

[AwkwardAntelope]

I've never had those issues, but I'm definitely afraid to go to the dressing room and them judging me because I'm carrying in men's shirts and pants.

Back when I first started shopping in the dudes section, I was also a little apprehensive of it. I'd get through it by taking in some womens garments as well - putting the dudes stuff in the middle of the pile to disguise it. Whether they realised that or not, it doesn't matter because in the end it made me feel better about it.

[HomeBirdJen]

Cis-gender female with gender neutral expression here.

Okay, gonna add my two 'pennorth/cents about women's clothing:

Pockets: Either make them practical or not at all! I mean I own clothes that have pockets SEWN ON but they're sewn SHUT! WHY?!?!?!

Heels: I just don't get it. WHY would you do that to your feet/legs/back?

Bags: Just a total inconveniece. And then we're back to the pockets issue...

As far as shopping goes, I am happy to look in either department for stuff. I do most of my shopping online, and feel that since I started dressing more gender neutrally, that choices have actually opened up for me as I enjoy browsing both sections for basic clothing items. I still feel awkward about going into menswear departments in stores though. I am pretty minimalist, so I stick to basic items like hoodies, tees and joggers and I wear a uniform at work so that dress code is decided for me which helps.

[DigitalBookDust]

Back with some more shoe suggestions: Clarks makes some unstructured brogues that look unisex, as does Josef Seibel. I highly recommend Josef Seibel shoes for comfort, plus they're hand-sewn and will last forever. You can find them more cheaply at the Josef Seibel website than at online stores. Warning for US people-the prices are in Euros, so you'll have to do some mental calculating.

[House of Chimeras]

We’ve been wanting to dress and express ourselves in a more non-binary way for ages but hate going shopping, especially for more formal or dress casual wear. What really is stressful though is that we’re still not sure how our mother feels about us being transgender. She knows, but seems to not really react like she knows, making us shy to try to buy anything more masculine-looking.