furubacase Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I'm wondering if there are other people here that are dealing with the same thing. I'm 30 years old and I have complete peace with the fact that I'll probably never find the right partner for me. Finding someone that wants the same things that I do from a relationship (i.e. platonic) is certainly possible but I'm living my life very contently and I'm nog going to wait around for it. The one thing that's missing is a child. I've wanted to become a mum for a long time but I just never gave in to the feeling because I always felt I'd have to find a man first. Since finding out I'm asexual and how much I'm okay with that, I've really started to get serious about my desire to become a mother. I'm currently taking my first steps towards realizing that dream. I've chosen the path of insemination via a clinic. I've considered adopting but I really want the experience of being pregnant at well, so at least my first child will be donor conceived. I'd love to find out if there are other people here that have the desire to become a parent but aren't doing it the 'regular' way. What are the choices you've made and why? How far along in the process are you? Hope to hear from a bunch of people! Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I wish you all the luck!There's a few of us I think. I have the same plan and I too want to be pregnant and want the child to be biologically mine. I am not as far through the planning as you seem to be, but I am younger (23). Iwant to be better at looking after myself than I am , and need to be more financially stable than I am, before I bring a baby into my life. But it is part of my long-term plan to be inseminated with doner sperm. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I can understand your wanting a child, furubacase, and also wanting to experience pregnancy. Many women successfully and happily give birth and rear a child on their own. And while the support of a partner can be a big plus, having an unsupportive partner (as many women do) is definitely a negative. Having to be the "one-and-only" parent can be very tiring and demanding, and at some time you will come up against the question of "why don't I have a dad?" That doesn't mean you can't do it - it just means that you need to be prepared and work out how you plan to handle these things. One thing you might like to consider is how you can involve some other significant adult(s) in your child's life, both for his/her sake and for yours. I hope it all works out for you, and I wish you the best of luck and happiness in your future life. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarika Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I started this topic a few weeks ago and wish I could change the title. It would be nice to have a mini suport group for the sigle parents and those wishing to do so. Autumn Sunrise, fertility clinics do help parents with how to deal with the question of 'where did I come from' that will come from kids, but as a child of a single mother myself, the easiest thing to do is just be as honest as the child's comprehension when they ask questions. Not unlike the sex talk now that I think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
furubacase Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 I have a very supportive family luckily, and a dad and stepdad who would happily be male role models for my child in absence of a dad :) I've read plenty of materials to at least prepare myself in theory. I would never have come to the decision to do this on my own if I was first fully convinced that I could do it on my own :3 I realize that it's still going to be super hard on occasions. But with the help of my family and friends I manage. And that's why I would love to have a little support group as well Sarika! I'll definitely check out your topic next! Link to post Share on other sites
RobPal Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I've thought a lot about whether I would like to be a parent, but as a man, my options are more limited. I would need to find a very generous surrogate if I was to be a biological dad, and there are huge hurdles to jump through to adopt as a single male. The financial and time limitations are also barriers to me ever being able to become a parent. I think that I might be okay to be a non-anonymous sperm donor for a friend, so that I can have a child but not be expected to raise it, yet still spend some time with it as it grows up. It's an ideal that will probably never happen but one can dream. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarika Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I haven't dug around this site nearly enough, but maybe this might be helpful: http://www.co-parentmatch.com Link to post Share on other sites
KevCo Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am 34 and that has been more or less my plan for a number of years. I'm not ready but I've done some things to help get me more ready such as mentoring, spending time at an orphanage in Mexico, and other things. I don't want little kids and am trying to eventually get things in order to do foster care or adoption. Link to post Share on other sites
ameliemaio Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Hello everyboydy, I am new to the group.My name is Victoria, I am 38.I have been single for the last few years and not really planning on finding a partner... all my ex partners were sexual which was always quite a challenge and was always an issue.... I am not aromantic, in fact I do get strong romantic emotions and attraction and get strongly bonded but then comes sex and ruins it for me :P I don't really like sex, not that I hate it, but I would rather not have it... So I guess for the last few years i just gave up the idea of a relationship. 3 years ago I started trying to become pregnant with a sperm doner in a fertility clinic but turns out I was infertile and didn't know it. I found that out after 2 years of consecutive efforts to conceive... :(A few months ago I have started the adoption process, I applied in the begining of the year. I am still in the paperwork stage. I know it is a long process that might take a few years but i hope it will be ok in the end.Thank you all for letting share, nice meeting you. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Welcome, Victoria I hope things work out for you and you are able to adopt a child. There are quite a few people on AVEN who are interested in adopting, and you could share information and experiences with them and also enjoy some mutual support. Some have posted on this thread but I have also come across others in different threads. Good luck . . . and let us know how you get on :) Link to post Share on other sites
ameliemaio Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Thanks @Autumn Sunrise for your kind repy and your warm welcoming I 'd be glad to share :) :) Link to post Share on other sites
CreativeUsername Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 It seems there are more of us than I thought! There has been another thread I've been posting in on this very topic. I have plans to become a single parent by choice. Those plans have become a bit shaky recently. I moved cross country recently so there are all the issues associated with not yet knowing anyone in my new location. I also am just really stuck on the idea of having a co-parent. It's an almost impossible task to find one of those, though would be easier, I suppose, if all of us searching for this weren't so picky. I think this summer I will reevaluate my babymaking plans and hopefully move forward. To be honest, I would have preferred to adopt. For several reasons, it wasn't possible in the last place I was living. I have been researching options where I'm currently living, though it's not looking all that bright. Link to post Share on other sites
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