WorldHero Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 This behavior in men is a story I've heard from countless women. :/ It seems this is the way guys just misbehave on okc. Its sad, because if they took a second to just RUN A SEARCH they could search for women looking for sex! It's so simple, but instead, for some reason, they seem to harass women for sex, completely at random. Ugh. The thing is, I don't feel harassed...Just incredibly annoyed. <_< I know my profile page looks like a full-length novel (I'm a writer...which comes with the habit of writing essays almost everywhere), but it wouldn't hurt to just read the first paragraph, where I briefly explain asexuality. That way, they get the hint that sex is not really my thing right now...And if they just don't give a shit anyway, well...Then I guess they're not worth talking to. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 The thing is, I don't feel harassed...Just incredibly annoyed. That's how internet trolls tend to operate. The ones that outright harass tend to get reported and banned too quickly for them to have their fun. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 The thing is, I don't feel harassed...Just incredibly annoyed. That's how internet trolls tend to operate. The ones that outright harass tend to get reported and banned too quickly for them to have their fun. He may have been a troll...But if he really was trolling me, then he would've kept responding to me even after I told him off. And he's not banned yet either. Being a bit of a troll myself every now and then (mainly when someone is downright rude and vicious for no reason), trolls love it when people keep responding to them. If their victim keeps feeding them attention, trolls keep bugging them. Yet, he stopped responding to me the first time, so I don't think he was trolling me... Link to post Share on other sites
Bronte Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 There are creeps everywhere on the internet, does anyone really have the time to answer 400 questions just to find a date, I'd seriously consider devoting your energies on something more worthwhile. Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysBeKorra Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I'm trying it out! Serious lack of aces in my area, though. Lots of random dudes with a 40% or less match and looking for casual sex messaging me too, ugh. (Read the profile, dudes.) But I'm going to keep trying it for a while. Got the same problems ;) I made a profile a week ago, and I've had nada asexual guys messaging me. Only a few offensive messages, though, guess that's a good thing. And many who just haven't read my profile. Come oooon, guys, are you really that shallow? But... yeah. But I also have guys messaging me who states they're "straight" but when I go through their sex questions they're clearly not that interested in it. It's kind of interesting if these guys are actually asexual or somewhere on the spectrum but don't know it yet/can't state that on their profile because of the stigma placed on males who don't experience sexual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 There are creeps everywhere on the internet, does anyone really have the time to answer 400 questions just to find a date, I'd seriously consider devoting your energies on something more worthwhile. Who said I wasn't? Please don't jump to conclusions by assuming I have too much free-time on my hands to devote a lot of energy to something this trivial. The whole point of this was to 1) do a small, fun social experiment to see how people react to my being asexual, and 2) to try to occasionally talk to some new people in my area without having to ever leave my schoolwork alone. Thanks to my senior thesis, I don't have the luxury to actually go out and date people right now. It's difficult to do that when you're locked into a stressful production-schedule. Hell, I spent most of my spring break this week chained to a desk at school. I barely spent my time on the dating-site; I even got messages from people who were too impatient to hear responses from me or because I suddenly logged off and disappeared for several hours/days. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Welp, guess who's the first one who gets to be blocked/hidden by me for being an absolute rude ignoramus? c: I certainly wasn't expecting to get that type of ignorant hate from OKC... Looking at their profile...It seems like its a couple sharing an account, looking for a 3-some. Under the "Self-Summary," they listed stats about two people. Funny thing is, they're both American in a polygamous relationship and they moved to NZ because they hate the US government and somewhere, they mention "not to be so quick to judge them." And yet...They were quick to judge me as some "dumb hick" for still living in the US. Classic pot-calling-the-kettle-black....I love it. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysBeKorra Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 ...and there it was! I was wondering if I would get messaged by very traditional and/or religious people who still believe that the woman is supposed to be "pure" and not having a sex drive before marriage, and afterwards suddenly have one. Got my first one today, and being somewhat of a feminist it makes me angry to think some men are still like that. He said that my description of asexuality seemed a lot like how women was more "love driven" than "sex driven" before society turned that upside-down! Argh!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Chemic Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 So I got my first message asking about asexuality, as they were confusing it with celibacy in that it was a choice, so I tried to explain as best I could about sexual and romantic attractions. Link to post Share on other sites
Tyto_alba Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 My profile lists my as asexual, demisexual, and looking for friends. Recently, I had a guy ask me to explain asexuality and demisexuality. I did so, and explained that I still hadn't figured out which term exactly fit me. He proceeded to explain asexuality back at me and hinted that I might not be ace. I told him I wasn't interested in the conversation anymore. He responded with further explanation of asexuality. Told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He responded with "Wow. As if I said anything bad." So I explained to him that I didn't appreciate him explaining my own sexual orientation to me. I probably shouldn't have responded, but I wanted to know why he was bothering me. I know me way better than he ever will. He hasn't responded yet. I hope he never does. People like that grate on my nerves. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 My profile lists my as asexual, demisexual, and looking for friends. Recently, I had a guy ask me to explain asexuality and demisexuality. I did so, and explained that I still hadn't figured out which term exactly fit me. He proceeded to explain asexuality back at me and hinted that I might not be ace. I told him I wasn't interested in the conversation anymore. He responded with further explanation of asexuality. Told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He responded with "Wow. As if I said anything bad." So I explained to him that I didn't appreciate him explaining my own sexual orientation to me. I probably shouldn't have responded, but I wanted to know why he was bothering me. I know me way better than he ever will. He hasn't responded yet. I hope he never does. People like that grate on my nerves. ...That sounds almost like what my mom did to me when I came out. She acted like she knew exactly what it was when she clearly didn't and wouldn't even let me explain it to her. I absolutely hate it when people act like know-it-alls when they really don't have any idea what they're talking about. <_< Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 "People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who actually do" Link to post Share on other sites
Gallantrv2427 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 My profile lists my as asexual, demisexual, and looking for friends. Recently, I had a guy ask me to explain asexuality and demisexuality. I did so, and explained that I still hadn't figured out which term exactly fit me. He proceeded to explain asexuality back at me and hinted that I might not be ace. I told him I wasn't interested in the conversation anymore. He responded with further explanation of asexuality. Told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He responded with "Wow. As if I said anything bad." So I explained to him that I didn't appreciate him explaining my own sexual orientation to me. I probably shouldn't have responded, but I wanted to know why he was bothering me. I know me way better than he ever will. He hasn't responded yet. I hope he never does. People like that grate on my nerves. Wow what a turd! When I was straightedge I had people act like that towards me all the time. Glad you stood up for yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 Jesus christ...Why do some guys not understand the concept of "no"? If I said I was too busy to go out anywhere at all, what the hell makes you think I won't be busy enough to go out for just sex? >:T If someone says "no" about anything for whatever reason, that doesn't mean to keep begging anyway. No means no. And he claimed he was asexual too...I'm starting suspect that was probably a lie. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 but zomg asexuals can totally crave sex it just means they aren't attracted blah blah blah Yeah, I wouldn't call him ace either. Nor someone particularly intelligent. Link to post Share on other sites
Tyto_alba Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 This is by far the most hilarious message I've gotten so far on OKC. I told this guy no to maybe a dozen requests to hangout, hookup, or go on a date. I even submitted this on to Hell is Okcupid. It's just pure gold. It doesn't even make sense. For the record, this is not the same guy as mentioned before. He stopped messaging me, thankfully. "i have a feeling you could carry a conversation over this forever. More power to Ya. But I'm kinda lookinb for the girl that makes my heart race when I see her and every morning I look at her even when she at her worst shes the best in my eye. No other girl would ever come close to how I view her. Sex would only share the feelings between use. Our body seek out smells and defects in personality and size. We know a good mate when we see them. It how were made. It's how were programmed. A person that is atractive is atractive because it's the DNA you want in you off spring. The isn't anyway around it. Best of luck to you. I would say good look on you search but you seek something that I don't think even exist. Make baby's and grow the human race. It is why you are here right now. I'm bitter and stubborn because I'm a man. I'm a natural born leader I can help it. There's leaders and followers everywhere you look. Why is that person incharge. My to the other turkeys follow that one. When do the geese fly south and some stay. The one that stay die when there is a harsh winter. Why do diseases come about and natural disasters happen to good people. Why was this planet warming up now she's cooling down why are we experiencing higher than average sun radiation levels. Why do we dump garbage into the ocean when there is plenty of space on land to put it. This dirt ball is going to hell. I just want to go out happy with someone I love that is closely related. We are all brother and sisters if you wanna think gross about it. Modern day living allows the lazy and mentally I'll to live when in nature the die off. We human are being our own demise, I'm just trying to do my part in preventing it. Good night pretty girl. I offered you more friendship than you could ever comprehend. You turned it down. You are young with slot of living to do. I maybe a few years older but I can tell you this world is a complicated ass hole that will shit on you every chance she gets. :) im happy tho because I have hope. She is out there!!!!!! So is a h1 Huey under a hundred grand! Later" Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 but zomg asexuals can totally crave sex it just means they aren't attracted blah blah blah Yeah, I wouldn't call him ace either. Nor someone particularly intelligent. His profile said he was straight, but in our messages, he said he was asexual...But I've never met any asexual who was that desperate to get laid and didn't understand what "no" meant. I mean, I do have a libido and it seems to turn on at random times, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to have sex every time it turns on. And I actually told him before I deleted our conversation and blocked/hid him that if a kid can understand the concept of "no," then he should too. The next time he tries asking a girl out for sex, if they say "no" don't keep begging. All I got was "ok sorry beautiful" and "ok sorry it was a mistake forget it"...I don't care how many times he says sorry, I'm not going to talk to someone (nor will I go out with them) who does not understand "no means no." Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 This is by far the most hilarious message I've gotten so far on OKC. I told this guy no to maybe a dozen requests to hangout, hookup, or go on a date. I even submitted this on to Hell is Okcupid. It's just pure gold. It doesn't even make sense. For the record, this is not the same guy as mentioned before. He stopped messaging me, thankfully. "i have a feeling you could carry a conversation over this forever. More power to Ya. But I'm kinda lookinb for the girl that makes my heart race when I see her and every morning I look at her even when she at her worst shes the best in my eye. No other girl would ever come close to how I view her. Sex would only share the feelings between use. Our body seek out smells and defects in personality and size. We know a good mate when we see them. It how were made. It's how were programmed. A person that is atractive is atractive because it's the DNA you want in you off spring. The isn't anyway around it. Best of luck to you. I would say good look on you search but you seek something that I don't think even exist. Make baby's and grow the human race. It is why you are here right now. I'm bitter and stubborn because I'm a man. I'm a natural born leader I can help it. There's leaders and followers everywhere you look. Why is that person incharge. My to the other turkeys follow that one. When do the geese fly south and some stay. The one that stay die when there is a harsh winter. Why do diseases come about and natural disasters happen to good people. Why was this planet warming up now she's cooling down why are we experiencing higher than average sun radiation levels. Why do we dump garbage into the ocean when there is plenty of space on land to put it. This dirt ball is going to hell. I just want to go out happy with someone I love that is closely related. We are all brother and sisters if you wanna think gross about it. Modern day living allows the lazy and mentally I'll to live when in nature the die off. We human are being our own demise, I'm just trying to do my part in preventing it. Good night pretty girl. I offered you more friendship than you could ever comprehend. You turned it down. You are young with slot of living to do. I maybe a few years older but I can tell you this world is a complicated ass hole that will shit on you every chance she gets. :) im happy tho because I have hope. She is out there!!!!!! So is a h1 Huey under a hundred grand! Later" That was a pain to read because it was nothing but rambling with no logic, but that was definitely amusing. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I would definitely classify that as Insane Troll Logic. Link to post Share on other sites
thatmusicdork Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I just deleted my account. It was more to see how the responses to demisexual/asexual would work out and although I did get a few good conversations out of it, I think that I'm still in the point of my life where I'm done with online dating. I have plans to work on myself and try to meet people in real life. It was a fun experiment and I hope that you all (whoever is doing online dating in this forum) finds happiness :D Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 I just deleted my account. It was more to see how the responses to demisexual/asexual would work out and although I did get a few good conversations out of it, I think that I'm still in the point of my life where I'm done with online dating. I have plans to work on myself and try to meet people in real life. It was a fun experiment and I hope that you all (whoever is doing online dating in this forum) finds happiness :D I might delete mine later too...So far, the experiment has shown okay results, with nothing too rude, but I feel like maybe another dating site would be a bit more...mature, I guess? I feel like OKC has more immature people or too many desperate guys looking to have sex with anyone they meet on there. :/ It's definitely more of a hook-up site, and I'm not really interested in hooking up with anyone right now because of school. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 27, 2015 Author Share Posted March 27, 2015 UPDATE: Changed my settings to "I don't want to see or be seen by straight people." Now let's see how many messages I get and if I can find more asexual people (hopefully guys). Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 No, I want to keep talking to you. But the reason why meeting anybody is up in the air right now is because…I’m going to be extremely busy this summer, once I graduate. My parents are already nagging me to do job-hunting anywhere, which means I’m going to have to be willing to move to another state or even another country, depending on where I get hired. Then there’s San Diego Comic-Con International this summer…The biggest entertainment/animation convention on the whole damn planet. I would have to be an absolute idiot to pass up on the portfolio-reviews, job-hunting, and passing out my cards to any studio or animation-related business there. Which means, I have a giant portfolio that really needs some beefing up before then. And then there’s the issue of housing and finding a place to live, also depending on where I get hired. …I’m sorry, bro. You’re fun to talk to and I’m still willing to keep talking to you. But all of that comes first and foremost before I get into any new relationship. Those are all the reasons why I really don’t know when I’ll be able to meet and go out with a new guy. Right now, the best I can do is just to try to make some new connections. That’s all. Link to post Share on other sites
Annie Moose Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 All your experiences are very interesting to read. I have a friend who is on OK Cupid simply for laughs and the occasional fun date. She keeps telling me to sign up and just ignore the creepers and people interested in hookups. I'm thinking about it but it seems like such a crap shoot and I don't know if I want to weed through all the spam messages. Maybe I'd do the turn off straight people thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 ^ Yeah, facing so many uninteresting (if not annoying) daily is a tough (though learned and useful) skill. I'd need to exercise it at work (e.g. be a sales agent, a call boy, you name it) to be able to hang out at dating sites without being damaged mentally :D The trick of blocking messages from straight people is genial, but yeah, we, aces, need to be inventive to get what we want :D Good luck, OP! Link to post Share on other sites
Sirily Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I tried this thing with a cake as my profile photo. So far two guys started to chat with me. One of them seems nice and we have been talking about cakes and about the weather (lol). The other one wants me to give him my facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 UPDATE: ...A whole lot of nothing. Not even messages that didn't pass my filters. :T Wasn't sure if this was supposed to be an April Fool's thing for OKC, but I was at least expecting 1 message from someone... Link to post Share on other sites
DeletedAccount00 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I made an account on OK Cupid out of curiosity, and so far I've had a pretty pleasant experience. I've received many more likes than I anticipated! The majority of messages I've received so far have either been a slightly patronising (but also rather kind) "Sex isn't everything, you know?" type of thing, or a direct reference to my appearance. I do understand that sometimes people don't have time to put effort into these messages, but I'd really appreciate it if some of them chose to properly read my profile and start a conversation with something interesting, like I ask them to in one of the sections of my bio. I only say this because I'm ridiculously awkward and terrible at starting conversations if they have anything to do with romance (I astound myself with my awkwardness sometimes). Oh well. Hoping to meet some nice people through it though! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 The majority of messages I've received so far have either been a slightly patronising (but also rather kind) "Sex isn't everything, you know?" type of thing, or a direct reference to my appearance. I do understand that sometimes people don't have time to put effort into these messages, but I'd really appreciate it if some of them chose to properly read my profile and start a conversation with something interesting, like I ask them to in one of the sections of my bio. I feel for you... If I were on dating sites, I'd write an AutoHotKey autofill script beforehand so that I could choose between a ton of message templates for each hair/eye colour, each favourite musci style and each attitude to having children etc. without spending too much time on each. Take my word, if you're going to ask people out in mass, you absolutely need a thought-out ergonomic setup, preferably a gaming mouse with 20 buttons like mine, to maximise your success rate per hour while spending 10 sec on each personal profile. It's April Fool's today, of course :) But my mouse does have 20 buttons in fact, and I indeed can write AHK scripts, at least very basic ones :) And I don't like to write one-line responses, so rest assured that they'll be all thought-out! Link to post Share on other sites
DiEvAl Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 This behavior in men is a story I've heard from countless women. :/ It seems this is the way guys just misbehave on okc. Its sad, because if they took a second to just RUN A SEARCH they could search for women looking for sex! It's so simple, but instead, for some reason, they seem to harass women for sex, completely at random. Ugh. Why are you assuming they are guys? In fact, why are you assuming they are humans? I think it looks more like not-very-well-written bots. I mean, humans can't be that stupid, can they? Link to post Share on other sites
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