hamilton Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I made friends with one guy I met on OKCupid and it was mostly because we had a 99% Match. It was nuts. Our first date was to the Museum of Death here in Los Angeles and, believe it or not, was not the reason it didn't work out. (It was me. It was aaaaalll me. We're still friends on Facebook, though!) It's nice that OKC is allowing for other sexualities/genders than the basic ones, but it doesn't really weed out the creeps. Regarding gender, I identified as agender and they still made me choose if I'd rather be lumped in with the women or men. I'm agender for a reason. I understand it's the algorithm, but if you're going to offer identification as gender/sexualities other than straight/gay/bi and woman/man, you gotta update that shit. Also, the longer you're on OKC, the less messages you're going to get. I was very upfront in my profile, stating that I wasn't there for sex. I got few gross messages, a lot more genuine ones, and was still barraged by the typical straight-white-boy, "hey how r u beautiful :) lol" messages. Ergh. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Sorry for not updating this sooner...I got bogged down in schoolwork, only had a few hours of sleep one night and 1.5 hours of sleep the next night, and then I was slammed with a midterm on my film and long story, short? ...It was kind of a bust, due to technical difficulties. Damn animation software wanted to be stubborn with "Not Responding" every single time I tried to import my work. The last two nights I spent staying up late until 6 AM to get the work done before I used the software was all in vain. :evil: I was so stressed out, I ended up breaking down into tears twice that day... ...And then I took a nice, well-deserved weekend vacation down to San Diego and went out to the desert with my family for our last camping trip of the season. c: It was windy the entire time and sand was blowing everywhere, but I still had fun regardless. Natural environments always put me at ease~ ANYWHO~ I currently have 441 likes now. I'm getting fewer messages, and the asexual questions have been pretty okay so far...Nothing too rude. I had one guy recently go "How can u be this way," but I dunno if that was about my asexuality or not...And the guy I've hit it off pretty well is still texting me. c: Link to post Share on other sites
thatmusicdork Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Off topic (but relevant to your response): How did you like SD? I currently live here and I went out to Anza-Borrego two weekends ago and had a blast! Anyway, I looked into OKC again for experimental purposes (but I did fill everything out pretty much if I was taking it seriously). So far, so good. I think the fact that I put asexual, demisexual, straight as my orientation is guiding the pervs away (so far) but you never know what could happen. Since I'm moving back to PA in June, I set my location to anywhere instead of just near me because I'm up for making friends too. I'm not looking for a relationship per say but if it happens unexpectedly, I wouldn't oppose it. The most annoying thing is the lack of creativity when it comes to intro messages. Stop just saying 'hello'. A parrot could say that. If you look at my profile and want to message me, message me with something in my profile that stood out. I did that for a few guys and I've gotten responses back so far. Friendly banter but hey, it's better than nothing right? Did you answer a lot of questions? I'm not exactly sure how many I've answered yet. Also, are you paying for A-list or do you just know how many likes you have? I have 170ish but I refuse to pay for anything in terms of online dating when I have rent/bills to worry about lol Link to post Share on other sites
Barylambda Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I usually focus on who are the scam artists and what is their con? I also read that many online dating create fake profiles to get people to sign up. Even for the free sites, the more page views they get, the more in advertising money they get. So there is an incentive. I have never been on OK Cupid so can't speak for that. But, the others I have been on have many fakes and scams. Some women have given me their phone numbers which I don't call. It is possible that is bait to get your number for telemarketers. Being paranoid often pays off. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I find making actual creative messages to girls gets you nowhere.....but I'm happy I met a cool ace girl on OKC...we've hung out a bit and it is really fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Jess613 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 So in October I created an account and got the same sort of reception, lots of likes, a few creepy messages... although it did help that at the end of my profile I asked for people to tell me their favorite word in their message to make sure they had read my profile and knew I wasn't willing to meet for a while and that I wasn't interested in sex at this time in my life. This actually cut down on creepy messages and more guys and girls messaged me with things other than "hello". However, there were still enough creepy messages to make me deactivate my account, although before I did, I gave a girl I was chatting with my email address, and we've had a great email/facebook/chat friendship for almost five and a half months now. tl;dr - OKC has some pretty sleazy guys along with some really nice, friendly, and smart guys and girls. It's worth a try for anyone, especially if you put some extra things in your profile to determine who acknowledges that you're not looking for sex or a meeting or a hookup. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Off topic (but relevant to your response): How did you like SD? I currently live here and I went out to Anza-Borrego two weekends ago and had a blast! Anyway, I looked into OKC again for experimental purposes (but I did fill everything out pretty much if I was taking it seriously). So far, so good. I think the fact that I put asexual, demisexual, straight as my orientation is guiding the pervs away (so far) but you never know what could happen. Since I'm moving back to PA in June, I set my location to anywhere instead of just near me because I'm up for making friends too. I'm not looking for a relationship per say but if it happens unexpectedly, I wouldn't oppose it. The most annoying thing is the lack of creativity when it comes to intro messages. Stop just saying 'hello'. A parrot could say that. If you look at my profile and want to message me, message me with something in my profile that stood out. I did that for a few guys and I've gotten responses back so far. Friendly banter but hey, it's better than nothing right? Did you answer a lot of questions? I'm not exactly sure how many I've answered yet. Also, are you paying for A-list or do you just know how many likes you have? I have 170ish but I refuse to pay for anything in terms of online dating when I have rent/bills to worry about lol *GIANT GASP* You're from San Diego?! c8 My parents live there and that's my hometown! We always like to go camping out near Anza-Borrego/Ocotillo Wells/Superstitions/Salton Sea...and the Buttercup sanddunes for Thanksgiving. c: I've gotten 1 perv so far (if you saw the earlier post about the 41 year old), but other than that, my OKC experience has been okay so far. I actually have gotten a few creative responses, besides the usual "hello" greetings. Some guys who have actually read my profile have pointed out some parts they found interesting and started the conversation that way, which I agree is definitely more engaging for me. The ones who just say hi are usually conversations that turn a bit dull rather quickly... I think I've answered about 100 so far...Enough to really flesh out my personality section. But no, I'm not paying for that A-list thing...I feel like it's kinda pointless to pay for features on a dating site. <_< Link to post Share on other sites
awkwardfeminist Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 It's been a few days and it's going better for me. I've realized I'm terrible at making conversation in text format so I never know how to write a lot of stuff unless they are, so.. The awkwardness is around on the internet as well. The "hey girl" dudes have simmered down, maybe because I've added a big "ACE" on my very empty profile. I haven't gotten any invasive or curious questions, which is kind of nice. I've received a few message from guys saying we should disregard OKC match numbers for us, which NO. If we're a poor match you're most likely sexist, homophobic and racist. I'm in an awkward stage of lurking around the other aces profiles (a mind-boggling two in my area) and mustering up the courage to message them something along the lines of "hey lets be friends" without sounding like the needy "OMG another ace" person I am. I don't think OKC is all that big around here, though. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 UPDATE: Maybe I'm reading this guy's latest response the wrong way, but I read this one as being a bit...impatient. ...Seriously? You couldn't wait a damn day to get my response? I mean, it's great that you understand why I probably wouldn't want to respond to those types of questions (and I did respond to that one), but you do understand that I have a life outside a dating site, that I'm probably busy with other important shit, and I probably can't answer people immediately because I don't have a smartphone with the OKC app? If I'm reading that the wrong way, my bad, but...Sounding impatient is not really a good first impression, bro. Link to post Share on other sites
Agape Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Strikes me more as he realized that's a pretty dang personal question, and maybe he was a little out of line asking it so he was trying to backpedal a bit. In other news, off to go have dinner with an Ace girl from OkCupid, so... here goes with that... Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 Strikes me more as he realized that's a pretty dang personal question, and maybe he was a little out of line asking it so he was trying to backpedal a bit. In other news, off to go have dinner with an Ace girl from OkCupid, so... here goes with that... I'm hoping it was that...I did reply back pretty politely too, by just saying I was busy with work and I answered the question. But it's hard to tell online these days. :/ Good luck! c: Link to post Share on other sites
Spence Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Seems he was thinking you were being impatient, though I'd say you were just trying to be tactful. I think his reply was more indignant than impatient. Without any sort of voice tone or inflection, it can be difficult sometimes for one to get their point across with text alone. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 Seems he was thinking you were being impatient, though I'd say you were just trying to be tactful. I think his reply was more indignant than impatient. Without any sort of voice tone or inflection, it can be difficult sometimes for one to get their point across with text alone. How was I being impatient...? But that's true...It's why I can't always detect sarcasm online. It's hard to tell these things without any tone of voice. Link to post Share on other sites
Spence Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I don't believe you were, but by his reaction he seems to have interpreted "if you don't want to answer, I understand" as something like "I see you still haven't responded yet". I don't know why, but I wouldn't really worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I don't believe you were, but by his reaction he seems to have interpreted "if you don't want to answer, I understand" as something like "I see you still haven't responded yet". I don't know why, but I wouldn't really worry about it. I'm pretty sure that was something HE said, not her. You have the two people mixed up. Strikes me more as he realized that's a pretty dang personal question, and maybe he was a little out of line asking it so he was trying to backpedal a bit. That's also how it comes across to me too Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 I don't believe you were, but by his reaction he seems to have interpreted "if you don't want to answer, I understand" as something like "I see you still haven't responded yet". I don't know why, but I wouldn't really worry about it. He said that to me, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Mx.Jekyll Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I've been on the site for a few months or so now and have over 600 likes. Out of those, I think I've matched with maybe 10 people and only 3 or 4 actually messaged me. I was pleasantly surprised by a few people. One person who seemed like the complete opposite of me was actually one of the most pleasant and respectful, but never asked or questioned the asexual thing. I also met someone I got off extremely well with and I still occasionally talk to. He lives near by. However, I have definitely received a lot of inappropriate messages. I received many messages from people asking what asexual meant. It was nice they were open minded and wanted to know, but most often I had people respond with "you just haven't had sex with me yet" or "that doesn't make sense" or something along those lines. I also got the people that were completely oblivious to my profile and just sent sexual pick-up lines. Also douche canoes saying I should smile more or if I look at their profile and don't respond they think I owe them a response and get snippy. But...if we're looking at the overall results and such, I've had much more positive responses. I was asked out a couple times, exchanged numbers with a few people, had some really philosophical conversations. It's not the worst dating app out there. Just gotta learn to ignore the bad ones. And I definitely agree that the male experience is different than the female. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Is there some kind of search filter on OKC that will let me block profiles of non-asexual women? Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 Is there some kind of search filter on OKC that will let me block profiles of non-asexual women? I dunno...? I'm pretty sure you can just block people... Link to post Share on other sites
funnyhousemate Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 165 likes in one day? *jaw drops* I know, right? That's crazy... For what it's worth, noticed the asexual option a week or two ago on OkCupid. Have gotten a handful of likes since... I get the feeling the male experience on OkCupid is wildly different than the female experience... Ha! No, the thing that does make the difference is whether you are looking for a man or a woman. Men take initiative, women usually do not. Just that. If you are a woman looking for another woman you soon realise it. I don't mind taking initiative though, it's better than having to turn down people. Anyway the number of "likes" is as meaningful as in Facebook (that is, zero) and the matching algorythm is blatantly a joke, which is why I simply ignore the match % and judge by myself. My greatest success thus far is that no male ever messaged me. Yep, *not* having a pic of myself does work! ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 The "enemy" percentage on okcupid works, as far as telling me whether or not the person is going to make me really irritated in a political discussion for instance. But as for a high match, I've never found that it really has anything to do with finding the right romantic partner, and few seem impressed by a really high match. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruqiah Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 165 likes in one day? *jaw drops* I know, right? That's crazy... For what it's worth, noticed the asexual option a week or two ago on OkCupid. Have gotten a handful of likes since... I get the feeling the male experience on OkCupid is wildly different than the female experience... Ha! No, the thing that does make the difference is whether you are looking for a man or a woman. Men take initiative, women usually do not. Just that. If you are a woman looking for another woman you soon realise it. I don't mind taking initiative though, it's better than having to turn down people. Anyway the number of "likes" is as meaningful as in Facebook (that is, zero) and the matching algorythm is blatantly a joke, which is why I simply ignore the match % and judge by myself. My greatest success thus far is that no male ever messaged me. Yep, *not* having a pic of myself does work! ^_^ I bet if OP took her photo off and replaced it with the generic no avatar option, her number of likes would go down drastically. Also agree that likes are meaningless. Conversations, on the other hand, are a better indicator of things. But it would be interesting experiment to take your photo down and try the site without it. It'd prove that people only care about looks and not the text you actually put in the profile (which I've done before, and why I choose NOT to have a picture up). Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 165 likes in one day? *jaw drops* I know, right? That's crazy... For what it's worth, noticed the asexual option a week or two ago on OkCupid. Have gotten a handful of likes since... I get the feeling the male experience on OkCupid is wildly different than the female experience... Ha! No, the thing that does make the difference is whether you are looking for a man or a woman. Men take initiative, women usually do not. Just that. If you are a woman looking for another woman you soon realise it. I don't mind taking initiative though, it's better than having to turn down people. Anyway the number of "likes" is as meaningful as in Facebook (that is, zero) and the matching algorythm is blatantly a joke, which is why I simply ignore the match % and judge by myself. My greatest success thus far is that no male ever messaged me. Yep, *not* having a pic of myself does work! ^_^ I bet if OP took her photo off and replaced it with the generic no avatar option, her number of likes would go down drastically. Also agree that likes are meaningless. Conversations, on the other hand, are a better indicator of things. But it would be interesting experiment to take your photo down and try the site without it. It'd prove that people only care about looks and not the text you actually put in the profile (which I've done before, and why I choose NOT to have a picture up). Hmm...I might actually take you up on that experiment. :T It'll be curious to see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
awkwardfeminist Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Is there some kind of search filter on OKC that will let me block profiles of non-asexual women? When you're browsing matches you can choose which orientations to show (though not everyone fills out asexuality as their orientation, I found some aces that mention it in their profiles and then have straight/bi/pan/gay as orientation, rather than filling out both) but other than that I think the only possibility is to block individual users, you can't hide yourself (only from straight people). Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 I think I'm going to postpone this social experiement for a bit...I just got a little creeped out today by a guy that I met at a school-function last week, who decided to drop obvious hints that he wanted to be more than just "new friends" in the movie theater, and I'm suddenly not in the mood to be talking to any random guys on any dating sites right now. I thought this was going to be a casual "hang out with a new friend at the movies" outting today, so I can get some fresh air and step away for a few hours from my film-work. ...I didn't think that meant pulling unwarranted hand-moves on me. That's not how I get to know new people, bro. It's no wonder I got lost during the second half of the Spongebob movie. Link to post Share on other sites
Antonnotna Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 How do you get to see exactly how many likes you have received? When I click to see how many likes I have it just says ''With A-List you'll see everyone who likes you on okcupid'' Does that mean only people with paid subscriptions can see how many likes they have?? Link to post Share on other sites
artandceramics Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 UGH I was on OKC for about two weeks and it was very disappointing. I signed up as asexual, had a decent but not frightening age range, and filled in a bajillion questions to get a higher 'match' percentage. Some use that did me. The 'like' system is pointless, as the only useful likes are when you find out someone 'likes' you back. I got so many dumb messages from people who didn't even bother to read my profile. I blocked so many people just for that. Someone who can't be bothered to say something mildly nice is not the kind of person I want talkingn to me. I did the whole 'educating people about Asexuality' thing for maybe about five people before realising how useless it was. I met one ace guy in my area but we never got around to meeting up... And then there were people who weren't total creeps at first and ended up being total creeps, so I blocked them. What else? Oh god I actually met two people off the site. So. Disappointing. One was a fedora-wearer, who was ok online but a horrible person in real life. He other guy was just kind of boring. No chemistry. All in all, terrible site, would not recommend for asexuals. Link to post Share on other sites
thatmusicdork Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Off topic (but relevant to your response): How did you like SD? I currently live here and I went out to Anza-Borrego two weekends ago and had a blast! Anyway, I looked into OKC again for experimental purposes (but I did fill everything out pretty much if I was taking it seriously). So far, so good. I think the fact that I put asexual, demisexual, straight as my orientation is guiding the pervs away (so far) but you never know what could happen. Since I'm moving back to PA in June, I set my location to anywhere instead of just near me because I'm up for making friends too. I'm not looking for a relationship per say but if it happens unexpectedly, I wouldn't oppose it. The most annoying thing is the lack of creativity when it comes to intro messages. Stop just saying 'hello'. A parrot could say that. If you look at my profile and want to message me, message me with something in my profile that stood out. I did that for a few guys and I've gotten responses back so far. Friendly banter but hey, it's better than nothing right? Did you answer a lot of questions? I'm not exactly sure how many I've answered yet. Also, are you paying for A-list or do you just know how many likes you have? I have 170ish but I refuse to pay for anything in terms of online dating when I have rent/bills to worry about lol *GIANT GASP* You're from San Diego?! c8 My parents live there and that's my hometown! We always like to go camping out near Anza-Borrego/Ocotillo Wells/Superstitions/Salton Sea...and the Buttercup sanddunes for Thanksgiving. c: I've gotten 1 perv so far (if you saw the earlier post about the 41 year old), but other than that, my OKC experience has been okay so far. I actually have gotten a few creative responses, besides the usual "hello" greetings. Some guys who have actually read my profile have pointed out some parts they found interesting and started the conversation that way, which I agree is definitely more engaging for me. The ones who just say hi are usually conversations that turn a bit dull rather quickly... I think I've answered about 100 so far...Enough to really flesh out my personality section. But no, I'm not paying for that A-list thing...I feel like it's kinda pointless to pay for features on a dating site. <_< No I'm not from San Diego. I'm not from California at all actually lol I'm from Pennsylvania but I spontaneously moved out here in August (unfortunately due to the cost of living and other reasons, I will be returning to the Keystone State in June.) Yea I saw that post. Ugh that's what turned me off to online dating after I tried so many. A friend of mine met her current bf through Plenty of Fish which I've also tried multiple times (this isn't the first time I've used OKC either). She said you just have to be patient and weed through the perverts. I got too impatient and annoyed so I gave up. Currently I've been messaging a couple of guys. One can't seem to hold a conversation which is annoying, the second is a bit interesting and the third is extremely intellectual and interesting to talk to so far. I'm not necessarily actively looking for a relationship but if this 'experiment' leads to something (considering emotions can't be controlled) I wouldn't be opposed. Where in SD are you? You can private message me if you want to answer this question. Maybe if you're close, we can meet up for some coffee or something? I've never actual met another asexual, etc. person before. Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I've always thought it might be fun to join a site like OKCupid since finding friends sounds nice. Then I realize that most probably aren't just looking for friends and I also remember when I used to have a chatango account. Here are two covos which made me quit: -Person01 has started chatting with you!- Person01: Hello, I'm a lesbian. Me: Hello, I'm not. Person01: Oh, that's too bad. Me: Sorry. Person01: Wanna cam? Me: No, I don't cam. -Person01 has ceased chatting- -Person02 has started chatting with you!- Me: Oh hi! Person02: Hey wanna see me *censored*. Me: Nope. o_O -I ceased chatting- Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.