Is the aesthetic attraction you feel related to gender?

[Francoise Wang]

I'm heteromantic asexual, and I'm aesthetically attracted to men much more than to women. Although I deeply appreciate the beauty of both gender, but the appreciation is just like appreciating the beauty of a cute animal or a fine art. But the "aesthetic attraction" I experience is different than that, it feels like "being attracted to", not just "appreciating" (It's hard to describe, but I just know it has some difference).

So for people here who also feels aesthetic attraction towards people, are ypu obviously aesthetically attracted to one gender than another (such as, only aesthetically attracted to men, or to women)?

I saw people described aesthetic attraction as "just like looking at a beautiful painting", so according to this description, aesthetic attraction should be totally unrelated with gender, and also unrelated with human or not human. But at least to me, I don't think it works this way. I think that's just aesthetic appreciation, not "attraction". And aesthetic "attraction" is another thing.

[Starbogen]

I know exactly what you mean, I've felt that for men since I was like 10 but then years later I started feeling it for women too. So now I don't even know what to call myself :/

[Zapstileon]

To me it is totally unrelated to gender. Which is why I specify with the ´Pan´ in my description. I think if it has something to do with gender you can specify that. But "just like looking at a beautiful painting" doesn´t mean it´s not related to gender. I love works by Pollock and da Vinci, for example, but I´m not such a fan of Picasso. It´s a different type of beauty. A Pollock painting is beautiful in a very different way to a da Vinci painting. Same as masculine aesthetics are very different to feminine aesthetics. An androgynous person is beautiful one way, while a male is beautiful in another way. But I agree that it is appreciation, at least to me. I´m not attracted. I just find the person pretty.

[Kmas]

99% yes. 1% no.... I am sorry but David Bowie Is just perfection in so many ways.

[Starbogen]

99% yes. 1% no.... I am sorry but David Bowie Is just perfection in so many ways.

I like this comment so much <3

[Perseus]

I get what you mean. I find both genders aesthetically attractive but I find men more aesthetically attractive that women.

[Bhakti]

I think there can be a difference between generic aesthetic appreciation and aesthetic attraction. It might be linked to one's romantic orientation. Like, while one appreciates or is drawn to certain aesthetic qualities of any gender, one can be aesthetically attracted to one particular identity, e.g. male, more than others. This might cause one to want to become connected to that person more in some way, get to know them more, be close to them, in a way that might not occur with people of other identities.

[Bronte]

Attraction for me is wanting to feel connected to whoever the person is, so I would say aesthetic attraction is much more than appreciation because personally, I think there is some detachment when appreciating something like a painting.

In terms of aesthetic attraction being gender related, I think it can be, for me anyway.

[9Lives]

In a way, yes. I am generally more aesthetically attracted to feminine women. Not exclusively, though, and I'm pretty sure I would also be aesthetically attracted to a person who looked like a feminine woman but turned out to identify as any other gender. I feel a bit shallow about this, to tell you the truth. The only thing I can say in my defense is that romantic attraction and aesthetic attraction are two completely separate things to me. I would describe none of the people I have been romantically attracted to so far as particularly beautiful, but that was utterly unimportant to me.

[deltaX]

I have been aesthetically attracted to people from multiple genders, so although I do feel aesthetic attraction to males slightly more than I do to females, I would probably identify as pan-aesthetic if I were trying to label it.

Interestingly, this is completely opposite my romantic orientation (I'm aromantic), so it's not just me feeling aesthetic attraction to people I am also romantically or sexually attracted to.

Although, just because my aesthetic attraction isn't necessarily gendered, I dont see why it could be that way for other people. Some people just have preferences for one gender or sex over others, and there's nothing that can really be done to change that.

[Philip027]

I do think one sex is generally... easier on the eyes, than the other (an opinion which is in line with my romantic orientation) but I do not really experience aesthetic attraction.

At the very best, I could be considered a demiaesthete (generally speaking, my opinion on how someone "looks" has little to do with how they actually look, and more to do with how I feel about the person). Even then, it's difficult for me to call it "attraction" because appearance isn't ever what necessarily draws me toward a person. I interpret the term "attraction" rather literally. >_>

[Viridzen]

I think, for me, it's similar to seeing a painting or poem that inspires me and makes me feel happy inside. I can't describe it that well, but I'd say it's something more than, "Oh, that looks nice." I've seen it described as someone's appearance being "inspiring", and I'd say that fits very well. I personally do find some gender presentations to be more aesthetically attractive than others, but my romantic orientation may have an influence on that. I think the two are intertwined for me.

So, you could find some genders more aesthetically attractive than others while still appreciating them in the same way as a painting or landscape. We discriminate between different landscapes when thinking about which ones we find pretty, so it should only make sense that people would do this with people's appearances.

[The Wreyck]

Well, all forms of attraction based upon appearance become a bit complicated for me. I experience omni-aesthetic attraction. I aesthetically appreciate and am at times feel aesthetic attraction to all forms of gender expression. I have a preference for androgynous expression and slightly femme masculine expression most often. But sensually I am demi, and it's not overly connected to their appearance so much as how I feel about the person themself. Sensually I still consider myself omni but with a preference for female and androgynous expression. And then I have a physical attraction that isn't quite sexual but is mote or not the same as sensual, and that is solely towards females.

My romantic orientation, though, is omni with a preference for males. So how it all ties in is difficult to determine, but I would definitely say that we can easily have a gender preference in aesthetic attraction, and it may or may not be tied to our romantic attraction more than our other attractions. It does seem to be at least for me.

[wintermint]

Interesting question, I'm not really sure. I really like female beauty and I see many females in everyday life who I think look really pretty and beautiful. It's a lot rarer that I see a man who I'd consider really good-looking, but I am more likely to feel romantically attracted to men than women

[bananadan]

I've found many genders aesthetically pleasing, but I personally find females much more attractive than any other gender. It's not that I'm more attracted to females more than other genders romantically, it's just something about the female form that catches my eye.

[WintersWhite]

I feel aesthetic attraction towards cute people but I notice I feel much more aesthetic attraction towards other males. I think girls are cute sometimes but for the most part I have a preference to other males.

[Tos]

For me, aesthetic attraction does not depend on gender at all. However, I have found it is very similar to sensual attraction. I see these two kinds of attraction as very closely related since they both involve an appreciation of physical characteristics. Pretty much the only thing that distinguishes the two from each other--in my case at least--is whether or not I want to appreciate those characteristics from a distance (aesthetic) or up close and personal (sensual).

[The Wreyck]

For me, aesthetic attraction does not depend on gender at all. However, I have found it is very similar to sensual attraction. I see these two kinds of attraction as very closely related since they both involve an appreciation of physical characteristics. Pretty much the only thing that distinguishes the two from each other--in my case at least--is whether or not I want to appreciate those characteristics from a distance (aesthetic) or up close and personal (sensual).

That is very interesting. For me it is different, though. Aesthetic attraction to me is this idea of of I'd have to look at someone all day long, I'd rather them look this way than that. Just a general preference if forced to make a choice. Or if there is a crowd of people, my eyes will gravitate towards one type of person over another. My sensual attraction is not tied in Amy way to physical appearance as far as I'm aware. It's solely on my feelings. That could easily be because I'm demi, though. I only experience secondary sensual attraction.

[EggplantWitch]

Aesthetic attraction for me isn't limited to gender... in fact, I tend to be more aesthetically attracted to female celebrities than I do to male ones, despite being heteroromantic. I'd much rather look at a conventionally beautiful woman than a conventionally attractive man, possibly because my idea of an attractive man isn't very conventional but I don't care all that much about women as I'm not interested in them, so I don't apply the 'does he look like this, does he have these features' thing to them.

I like the term 'aesthetic appreciation'. That's pretty good.

[Ashmedai]

Since I'm hetero, finding women aesthetically attractive is natural. It's the only concrete attraction I seem to have, or at least understand at the moment.

[Fire & Rain]

I don't experience it often but when I do, it seems to be genderqueer and genderless people.

[marchpie]

I think I still don't have a good grasp on what constitutes "attraction". I can determine whether someone is aesthetically appealing regardless of their gender (in the same way that I can determine whether someone is tall, average, or short), but I feel no urge or impulse to act on it whatsoever.

On the other hand, in the past, I have been romantically attracted to guys whom I had become particularly close to or known for ages. And appearance was never a factor, because one of the guys I fell for was an online friend whose picture I'd never seen; and the first boy I fell in love with was, in my mother's words, "the ugliest boy she'd ever seen." (Nicest guy in the world, though.)

Anyhow, is it accurate to say, then, that I have (1) aesthetic appreciation for both genders, (2) aesthetic attraction for neither gender, and (3) romantic attraction for the opposite gender?

[cheeringselenator]

I'm aesthetically attracted to both men and women. Probably 70% to females, 30% to males.

[AceEnergy6]

I identify as panaesthetic, but I tend to feel more aesthetically attracted to females or people who look/are androgynous. While, the opposite is true romantically (leans towards males).

[WünderBâhr]

Moved to the Romantic and Aromantic Orientations forum.

Bipolar Bear

Asexual Q&A Mod

[RHD95]

I am like that too, I feel a strong aesthetic attraction towards women, which for many years I confused with sexual attraction when it wasn't.

[deltaX]

I am like that too, I feel a strong aesthetic attraction towards women, which for many years I confused with sexual attraction when it wasn't.

I think a lot of asexuals confuse aesthetic attraction with sexual attraction. I know I interpretted by aesthetic attraction to guys as me being heterosexual.

Interestingly, when I was aesthetically attracted to girls, I recognized it for what it was, but when I was aesthetically attracted to guys it was like I wanted it to be sexual so I could be normal, so I lied to myself. Does anyone else have an experiences like this, where the same attraction meant different things with different genders, because you were trying to force yourself in some sort of box?

[Tos]

For me, aesthetic attraction does not depend on gender at all. However, I have found it is very similar to sensual attraction. I see these two kinds of attraction as very closely related since they both involve an appreciation of physical characteristics. Pretty much the only thing that distinguishes the two from each other--in my case at least--is whether or not I want to appreciate those characteristics from a distance (aesthetic) or up close and personal (sensual).

That is very interesting. For me it is different, though. Aesthetic attraction to me is this idea of of I'd have to look at someone all day long, I'd rather them look this way than that. Just a general preference if forced to make a choice. Or if there is a crowd of people, my eyes will gravitate towards one type of person over another. My sensual attraction is not tied in Amy way to physical appearance as far as I'm aware. It's solely on my feelings. That could easily be because I'm demi, though. I only experience secondary sensual attraction.

I can understand that. I mean, while I can and have found people of many different gender identities aesthetically attractive, the actual features I am attracted to vary greatly depending on the gender of the person. I find some people within a group more aesthetically pleasing than others in that same group, but those people might not have much in common appearance-wise with the people I find attractive in a different group.

[Janus the Fox]

For the little real terms aesthetic appreciation/attraction/etc... That I do feel has no direction in terms of gender but feels subtlety different between different people. The feelings of aesthetics feel different between physical sexes, but also different between each person.

[Draconos]

In general I consider myself panaesthetic but I would say that I like feminine and androgynous people more than masculine people. Since I'm an aromantic Ace my aesthetic attraction doesn't really correlate with anything, well except maybe how huggable a person seams because I love hugs xD