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Sexual attraction only with porn


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This might be a bit weird for some.

When I was a kid, I never really 'explored' my body or thought about others in a sexual way. But some girl randomly said some porn site and I went to it at home. This was the first time I came in contact with anything related to sex. I was repulsed at first, but I saw some guy touching his penis so I tried that. To my surprise, it felt good. So I started masturbating for the first time, which was the first time I watched porn. I feel like me feeling nice to those videos made me like those videos. The interesting thing is that those thoughts disappear if I don't do it for a day. My explanation is that I linked masturbation to porn, but I feel no inclination to actually fuck someone and my 'fantasies' are mostly romantic stuff with someone I'd have a crush on, which can escalate to cuddling and kissing, but nothing more.

I hope this is a bit clear? Where would that put me? I think I'd be asexual because I feel no sexual attraction to other people nor do I feel like those videos are sexual attraction but more like associating the feeling of me masturbating to those videos or grey-sexual (is that the correct term?) since I do masturbate to porn...

Thank you for reading this far. I know it's early for me to be sure about my sexuality since I'm 15 but it's something I'd like to discover.

PS: I'm Belgian, I'm sorry if some sentences were hard to read or if I made any spelling errors :)

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Libido, or sex drive ≠ Sexual attraction

That being said, there are asexuals who masturbate, and just because you masturbate to porn doesn't make you any less of an asexual.

I think I'd be asexual because I feel no sexual attraction to other people nor do I feel like those videos are sexual attraction but more like associating the feeling of me masturbating to those videos or grey-sexual (is that the correct term?) since I do masturbate to porn..

If you don't feel sexual attraction to people then that's what makes you asexual, not how often you masturbate or how you feel about sex. As for where it puts you, only you can say for sure, but just because you masturbate doesn't immediately make you gray-asexual.

If you DO NOT feel sexual attraction to people EVER, then you are asexual.

If you feel SOME sexual attraction to people (or you're somewhere between totally asexual and allosexual), then you are gray-asexual.

If you only feel sexual attraction to people after developing a strong emotional connection to people, then you are demisexual.

Hopefully this gives you some outline on the basics of asexuality.

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Unless you're sexually aroused by the people in the porn, and not solely from what they're doing in it, as well as desiring sex with them (which would be fictosexual), then what you're most likely experiencing is just arousal. In the same way watching gay porn does not make a straight person gay (or visa versa), watching porn (or being aroused by any other medium) does not make an asexual become sexual. People can also have aesthetic and or personality preferences for their erotic content.

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Yes, there are many ace who masturbate and watch porn. You look as if you were autochori ace. It's only my opinion.

What do you mean by this? Never heard of 'autochori' before :)

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Welcome to AVEN. It sounds like you may be autochorissexual. Autochorissexuality is a asexual person that masturbates and is not interested in sexual intercourse. Masturbation is normal and healthy. You might also be just asexual with a sex drive. When you look at porn is it the acts that arouse you or the person. If it is the act you may just have a fetish for that and no sexual attraction to the person, which means you fall on the asexual spectrum.

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Unless you're sexually aroused by the people in the porn, and not solely from what they're doing in it, as well as desiring sex with them (which would be fictosexual), then what you're most likely experiencing is just arousal. In the same way watching gay porn does not make a straight person gay (or visa versa), watching porn (or being aroused by any other medium) does not make an asexual become sexual. People can also have aesthetic and or personality preferences for their erotic content.

Welcome to AVEN. It sounds like you may be autochorissexual. Autochorissexuality is a asexual person that masturbates and is not interested in sexual intercourse. Masturbation is normal and healthy. You might also be just asexual with a sex drive. When you look at porn is it the acts that arouse you or the person. If it is the act you may just have a fetish for that and no sexual attraction to the person, which means you fall on the asexual spectrum.

This is bullshit. It makes no sense to say someone who is turned on by people can't be asexual, but someone who is turned on by people fucking can be. Either both constitute sexual attraction or neither do.

To the OP: Most people in the asexual community don't consider what you feel sexual attraction. In fact the definition of sexual attraction here (for better or worse) is basically a feeling that causes a desire for partnered sex.

Also, fuck these other labels. If you're asexual who masturbates to porn, you're still just asexual.

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This is bullshit. It makes no sense to say someone who is turned on by people can't be asexual, but someone who is turned on by people fucking can be. Either both constitute sexual attraction or neither do.

To the OP: Most people in the asexual community don't consider what you feel sexual attraction. In fact the definition of sexual attraction here (for better or worse) is basically a feeling that causes a desire for partnered sex.

Also, fuck these other labels. If you're asexual who masturbates to porn, you're still just asexual.

thank you, this clears up a lot :)

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Agree with shockk. An asexual that masturbates to porn is simply an asexual with a libido (notice the non-libidoist in my profile, not all asexuals are non-libidoist, actually we seem to be more of a minority).

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Yes, there are many ace who masturbate and watch porn. You look as if you were autochori ace. It's only my opinion.

What do you mean by this? Never heard of 'autochori' before :)

By Autochroi they mean Autochroisexual; it means someone who cant differentiate between arousal from content and arousal due to a person. (much betterly termed as Quoisexual) Essentially its just an asexual who masturbates, but that's normal and still asexual. They may also find masturbating sexual, but it's not.

Unless you're sexually aroused by the people in the porn, and not solely from what they're doing in it, as well as desiring sex with them (which would be fictosexual), then what you're most likely experiencing is just arousal. In the same way watching gay porn does not make a straight person gay (or visa versa), watching porn (or being aroused by any other medium) does not make an asexual become sexual. People can also have aesthetic and or personality preferences for their erotic content.

Welcome to AVEN. It sounds like you may be autochorissexual. Autochorissexuality is a asexual person that masturbates and is not interested in sexual intercourse. Masturbation is normal and healthy. You might also be just asexual with a sex drive. When you look at porn is it the acts that arouse you or the person. If it is the act you may just have a fetish for that and no sexual attraction to the person, which means you fall on the asexual spectrum.

This is bullshit. It makes no sense to say someone who is turned on by people can't be asexual, but someone who is turned on by people fucking can be. Either both constitute sexual attraction or neither do.

To the OP: Most people in the asexual community don't consider what you feel sexual attraction. In fact the definition of sexual attraction here (for better or worse) is basically a feeling that causes a desire for partnered sex.

Also, fuck these other labels. If you're asexual who masturbates to porn, you're still just asexual.

I apologize about the confusion/apparent contradictory. You display my opinion of Autochrois quite accurately. But the reason there is a difference between being turned on by a person and being turned on by porn is because, as i said, most asexuals are turned on by what they're doing in the material, not the people; if it's a fetish then there may be a sexually suggestive link, but watching normal sex simply suggests the G spots being hit; their own G spots react/say hit me too. It's not because of a person. For me I've deducted sexual attraction as needing both genital arousal due to a person and the desire to have sex. Simply put, arousal + desire = attraction. People who are turned on by others but don't desire sex can be considered asexual; it is not fully sexual attraction/just arousal. Either of them by themselves is not attraction; i would not call wanting sex the same as finding someone sexually attractive, even if they had standards. Or switching attractions around and it's where romantic attraction is not the same as just wanting to cuddling or wanting to make out; liking the sensation. The word sex-drive is also misleading because it is a synonym of libido; which we obviously use to mean masturbation-drive. Even if the OP was fully sexually attracted to the people in the porn, they could still identify as asexual if they do not desire to have sex with them irl. Though that would fall under fictosexual, they can still identify as asexual if they like. What's the point of fictosexual and lithsexual then? Simply pride/this doesn't make them a freak.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wow , when you said about the 'fantasies' of kissing and hugging people that is kind of like me , well until I realised most people are dckhheads which is a real turn off , yeah it's like I want to touch people as long as clothes stay on , I'm a similar age to you , so I know how you feel in that sense , I'd say your asexual but you also happen to like porn which is perfectly normal Especialy if you have urges which you need to get out of your system!

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