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Coming Out On Facebook


AngelinaTheHobbit

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AngelinaTheHobbit

I'm considering coming out as asexual on Facebook. Part of me is really proud of what I am and wants people to know, another is a little of what people are going to say.

My parents, boyfriend, and a few close friends already know. I'm not really sure what to do here and am talking to several different people about this before I make a decision.

What do you guys think? What are your experiences coming out?

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It's not something I would ever do myself, but if you feel the need and aren't worried about a potential backlash then go for it.

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I've been considering this as well! I'm super excited that I'm figuring out my sexuality and I feel like once I've gotten to telling everyone I'm close to that I'll want to do that, but part of me is a little hesitant just because my Facebook is a mix of people I actually care about and people I don't particularly interact with anymore so it's a little weird to me having them know. I'm not worried about backlash per se, but if so-and-so who I met once a few years ago knows it's a little odd.

Maybe this is an opportunity for me to clear out my friends list xD

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If you're already out to the most important people in your life (I don't know if you are or not...), then their acceptance and support might give you the strength to face whatever potential negative reactions you might get. And you might find that people are more accepting than you anticipate. That said, there is always a risk in coming out, and if you aren't feeling ready, you can always wait until you feel more ready, but if you come out now, you can't exactly un-come-out.

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GwendolynAngel83

I'm agreeing with element, if the people who matter the most to you already know and accept it then their support would likely make any potentila backlash easier :)

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I did that a while ago. I got plenty of mixed responses, but most weren't too bad. It's a good way to find out who your real friends are.

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I 'come out' as it were to every one I have the chance to without it being awkwardly shoehorned into the conversation...basically whenever talk turns to romance, sexual desires, sexual fetishes or oddities, and talk of marriage, I bring it in. I've yet to have a reaction worse than some one legitimately being unable to fathom it. Most people take it great, and I love putting it out there for people to think on. Yesterday I came out to a new coworker, which eased her mind greatly as she's bisexual and in a sort of open relationship, so she was worried I'd think she was a freak, until I told her 'nope, mine is still weirder'. I love the reactions I get from telling people I'm ace, and if I was on social media like facebook, I'd probably do this in a heartbeat. I think its a great Idea, especially since those close to you, who might ask 'why didn't you tell us this in person? Why did we have to find out this way?!' already know and won't be caught off guard.

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If I can give some useful advice, choose well who you're going to come out to. Because if your coming out is 100% public, if you have a job, or in the future, your boss and coworkers will see it, and I don't think that you would want to see the possible consequences. I would rather recommend to come out to selected groups (friends and family) so not absolutely everyone can see what's on your wall. It's safer this way. I've never come out on a social network, but if I did, it's the startegy I would choose anyway.

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AngelinaTheHobbit

I forgot to add that my facebook is private, so only my Facebook friends will see this.

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I came out on Facebook on Coming Out Day and blocked all the adults I didn't wanna tell yet from seeing the post. I got a very good response! 19 people liked it, and I didn't get any negative comments. Only my brother and 2 friends knew in advance.

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Ive changed/manipulated my facebook profile around just enough to show off I'm asexual but not enough to give too much away. No one has noticed, for me its not worth the trouble of coming out. No one even knows asexuals exist where i live were all rednecks :D

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AngelinaTheHobbit

Thanks for all of the replies!

I decided to play it safe and instead of posting it publicly on my wall (don't really want to lose my job/future job opportunities), I sent out a group message to the friends I hadn't told yet but still wanted to know. Overall I told about 30 people. The few who have come back have all been really supportive and one of my friends called me up to tell me he was transgender. I'm still a bit giddy over taking the last step out of the closet.

Now I just have to wait for my pastor's reply and hope I haven't shot myself in the foot with that one.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I told my parents first, and then thats exactly what I did. I came out on FB, because... Well, Why not? I dont really understand the discrimination about Asexuality, just due to the fact that it is not a big deal, who people choose to have sex with, or choose not to have sex at all.

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If you're going to come out, then be sure that everyone who's close to you that deserves to know before everyone else knows. It sounds like you've done a good job of that.

After that, I say go for it. :)

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Good luck with your pastor's response. Talking to religious people about this kind of thing is tricky.

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I hate the idea behind Facebook etc.

My dad once told me: "Don't write love letters (to a crush)! - She'll end showing them to a friend and they'll giggle over them. - There are moments / feelings better left unrecorded. - rely on the spoken word.."

Facebook is surely worse.

I don't know it (forgot my login stuff & never bothered much...) - I heard some bosses appreciate getting befriended on FB? - Aren't you supposed to "like" your employer there? - Can you do such as *Name with private profile*?

What about the vanity of your potential partner, later? - If you come out to a broad public you'll drag them out too!

Think at least twice before you post anything not considered CV-polish on FB.. - My 2ct.

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