arachnidsGrip Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 First of all, hello and I hope you're having a great day so far. I'm new here, and I came to seek advice. So if there's anyone out there who can help me...I don't know what I am. I'm hoping you can help me figure out what I am, because I am honestly just so confused about myself. I'm going to be straight out honest, so PLEASE do not leave any rude comments. Please tell me what you think I sound like! Please, and thank you, friends. ALL but 1 of my crushes were fictional. I've never been sexually attracted to any of them, except for my current one. I don't like real people easily. Not at all. I'm personally turned off by genitalia. But I'm not turned off by my current crush's genitalia. If someone were to ask me on a date with them, I would say no. No because I'm not one bit interested in them. Sexually or romantically. Yet, if my crush was real, I would love to have sexual, romantic, and sensual relations with them. Anyone else is a big no to me. I rarely, and I mean RARELY develop crushes on people. Real and fictional. I've had 7 crushes total in my entire lifetime. And my current one is the only one I'm being sexually attracted to. ​Please help me decide, I'm looking for only what I most sound like to you. You don't have to be certain. And if you are, it's even better, but please just help me decide on something. I'm very confused about myself. Asexual Aromantic? Asexual Romantic? Grey Asexual Grey Romantic, etc? I would appreciate your help! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dawnpaw Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 One thing is that you do sound like you might be demisexual (only experiences sexual attraction towards someone after making a very strong emotional connection with them) since you have only felt it with someone you have a crush on, but you could also be grey-A. If you do experience crushes/romantic attraction, then I would say you are some kind of romantic. Sexual and romantic orientations are about sexual or romantic attraction. Just don't start labelling yourself a certain way because someone says that is what you sound like, it is just a suggestion of what you can look at and think about whether or not that label fits you. I would also suggest that you read some more of the forums and see posts with people of orientations that you might have talking about how they feel. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
element83 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 It sounds to me like you're probably grey-asexual and grey-aromantic, although since you've only experienced sexual attraction once you could probably just go with asexual if you wanted to. As for only having had 7 crushes in your lifetime, depending on how old you are, that might be really, really normal. I've only had 6, even though I'm very, very romantic. But I'm also barely 18. But if you feel your romantic attraction is rarer than it is for most people, grey-aromantic sounds like it could be the description that fits best. Ultimately, it's up to you. I can't tell you how to identify, I can just offer my perspective, and you're free to disagree with that. Try on the different labels if you want to (try saying "I'm [label]" to yourself) and see which labels make you feel most comfortable. And if you later change your mind and want to use a different one, that's fine, too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dawnpaw Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I guess I can jump in with the amount of crushes I have had too. I have had 8 crushes and I am 20 years old. Four on fictional characters and four on real people. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Neu Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Like Dawnpaw said, this is just going to be a suggestion, not an answer. Fictoromantic seems to be the term to mean you are attracted to fictional characters. If you feel you rarely feel romantic attraction, you may be a greyromantic, or if you feel that you feel romantic attraction to those you feel a deep emotional connection to and otherwise don't feel romantic attraction, then you could be demiromantic. Feeling sexual attraction to only someone you have a crush on seems like you may be demisexual (you don't feel sexual attraction unless you form a deep emotional connection with that person). Demisexuality is in the gray-asexuality spectrum, where gray-asexuality means that you rarely feel sexual attraction. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laurens Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 You might be somewhere on the asexual and aromantic spectrum. I find it difficult to tell from your post. How do you see yourself in the future? Do you want to have a significant other or does the idea of having close friendships (and no romantic partner) seem more appealing to you? I'm not sure whether having 7 crushes in your life is really rare though. It depends of course on how old you are. I'm 22 and I've had, I think, 6 or 7 crushes in my life (fictional and real-life). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
arachnidsGrip Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 You might be somewhere on the asexual and aromantic spectrum. I find it difficult to tell from your post. How do you see yourself in the future? Do you want to have a significant other or does the idea of having close friendships (and no romantic partner) seem more appealing to you? I'm not sure whether having 7 crushes in your life is really rare though. It depends of course on how old you are. I'm 22 and I've had, I think, 6 or 7 crushes in my life (fictional and real-life). the idea of close friendships sounds more appealing to me. and to the crush-age thing, im 14, about to turn 15. also thanks for helping out. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
arachnidsGrip Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 It sounds to me like you're probably grey-asexual and grey-aromantic, although since you've only experienced sexual attraction once you could probably just go with asexual if you wanted to. As for only having had 7 crushes in your lifetime, depending on how old you are, that might be really, really normal. I've only had 6, even though I'm very, very romantic. But I'm also barely 18. But if you feel your romantic attraction is rarer than it is for most people, grey-aromantic sounds like it could be the description that fits best. Ultimately, it's up to you. I can't tell you how to identify, I can just offer my perspective, and you're free to disagree with that. Try on the different labels if you want to (try saying "I'm [label]" to yourself) and see which labels make you feel most comfortable. And if you later change your mind and want to use a different one, that's fine, too. i tried the label thing, and i find myself most comfortable with "I'm grey ace and grey-aro" . i guess this closes the case, hahah. and thanks for the advice. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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