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Is it worth bringing in a title for people who know me?


Snao Cone

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I've only very recently considered exploring the spectrum of asexual categories to describe my own sexual disposition. I'm aromantic and not particularly impressed by sex with people, though I can get aroused and satisfied through masturbation on a fairly regular basis. There have been very few times I've tried to get into a "relationship" but they've never amounted to anything because of my lack of enthusiasm for the status and responsibilities, without any sexual incentive.

My friends who have known me forever know my track record and how that reflects me. They haven't pestered me about finding a partner in a very long time. My family is similar. I don't talk about many things in my personal life (platonic and individual matters included), so it's implicit that I won't be bringing a partner with me for a family dinner and nobody tries to set me up. I feel like I've lucked out a lot with this.

Even coworkers, in the job that I started 16 months ago in a 90% woman environment, don't ask about my romantic life. I don't try to hide the fact that I enjoy being single, and that's generally respected.

So, given that there isn't any hostility or pressure, how much does it really matter for me to bring up new words or labels with people? I fall into the Grey-A area, but I don't plan on wearing a badge for it as part of an outward identity. I'm neither lying nor hiding. Should these conversations still happen?

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Depends. Do you want to 'get the word out'? That's a noble enough reason to have the sort of conversations that would bring up your grace-ness. At the same time, just because you're grace doesn't mean you have an obligation to announce it to the world. While we need more exposure, not so much for us, but for those still in the dark, you owe yourself happiness first, the world happiness second.

That's my feeling on it anyways.

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I'm already a very vocal supporter of LGBTTQIA* awareness. Part of what would make this awkward to close friends and family is that I've been clearly aware of asexuality for a long time, but have never identified myself all this time. I don't think I would have a problem explaining what Grey is and using myself as an example if it ever came up. But...as asexuality is widely still unheard of, what are the chances of conversation organically steering that way? If I do use myself as an example, will people close to me feel like they've been untrusted with this information all this time?

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Have you been aware of being Grey for a long time? If you haven't that's part of the conversation right there, if you have well it's your closet and if they're supportive they should understand you had to wave your hand from it at your own time. You don't want to make a big deal about it because it's not a big deal to you is what I'm getting. I say if it comes up organically great, if you feel more personal pressure to 'come out' then choose one person to start.

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