DentChan Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Someone to love without having sex, it's fine whether is if that person is asexual or not Link to post Share on other sites
PatheticGirl Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 To be my best friend... someone I understand and someone who understands me... rest everything is secondary for me... Link to post Share on other sites
ozzythefabulous Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 For me just someone to hang around with and watch endless hours of the same shows that also has a good sense of humour ^_^ Physically a lot of cuddling and hand holding with a little bit of kissing but no sex. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexPeyton Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I basically just want a best friend who I can travel the world and be cute with :) Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 As long as she doesn't start seeing some other guy I'm actually pretty okay with just about anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Relz Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 23 year old aro-ace here. I want a best friend who I can spend lots of time with and maybe even hug. I'm looking for mutual trust, respect, and communication. Maybe we'll live together (with separate beds), maybe not. Basically we'd be BFFs who are a little bit too attached to each other, haha. They don't HAVE to be ace, but it would be ideal/preferred. I don't filter my friends by their sexuality. I just can't see myself having this kind of relationship with an allosexual--they would most likely have a romantic/sexual partner whom they'd love more than me. And that's not okay. I want to be someone's absolute favorite, and they'd be my absolute favorite. :3 Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kam97 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I want friendship and a spark which leads to a very sucessful relationship and yes no sex or french at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I want a guy that I have a powerful mental, spiritual, and emotional bond with. Link to post Share on other sites
Jarndyce Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I would want someone to be mentally close with and to team up on life with. Someone whose interests and hopes are mine, just because I want to see them happy and successful.Edit: I'm 23 years old. Link to post Share on other sites
CNGB Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 For the most part, asexuals want what everyone else wants in a relationship (that is to say, lovey-dovey feelings). Just without the sex. :3 Link to post Share on other sites
Prairie Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I don't want to be in a relationship where someone is serving as half of me. As with all relations with people, I want to have opportunities to grow. Primarily this means the person listening to me talk about things that come up. It also means being able to contribute to their growth and well-being. I don't know whether I consider anything romantic as contributing to my growth; I think that feelings for someone else are a reflection of something going on for me, so would use that as a path to self-examination. I see feelings for someone else as similar than feelings for material things that I like and collect. To me it would be indulging in a likely illusion to treat someone else as the source of it, rather than a catalyst. So any relationship I was in would be between two independent people each getting something beneficial for themselves. I don't know whether I could make any kind of commitment to limit myself in a significant way for someone else, whether I could view such a thing as being healthy in the long-term.But that's just how I choose to live my own life. I know others view their own lives differently and have no problem with them being in relationships of whatever kind are good for their own growth/needs. I appreciate that this world allows peaceful coexistence :) Link to post Share on other sites
JSML Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 In a nutshell, I feel like I'm Sherlock mixed with a bit of Mycroft and Jim and I need a companion who's a combination of John and Molly. 1. I want to find my soul mate. "It's a.. Well, it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don't make you a better person... you do that yourself-- because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens.. you'll always love them. Nothing can ever change that. Make sense?" - Dawson's Creek 2. I want to always be respect them and be respected. I want our differing opinions to be fun grounds for a healthy debate and to come out of it appreciating their worldviews and personality even more. 3. Intelligence, both academic, natural, and moral. Deep conversations are fun. Being intellectually-stimulated by a person's presence does wonders. At the same time, 3. Able to be a little silly and have a great sense of humor, especially sass or sarcasm. No humor = boring. 4. Trust and honesty and good communication. 5. Be assertive to some degree (the individual I had my last relationship with was NOT at ALL and it was kind of aggravating) 6. ...but also sensitive to other people's thoughts and feelings. Along those same lines, be intuitive towards what I'm thinking as well. I understand that in addition to the centuries old debate of guys and girls just not understanding each other, I've been told that I'm difficult to read, but I want my significant other to know me well enough that if I'm spouting bull crap, they not only are aware of such but are not afraid to point it out at the appropriate time. 7. Be ambitious. Having big dreams and goals is awesome but it's even better when you're going to work hard to accomplish them. Link to post Share on other sites
Barylambda Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 It would be nice to have someone who would just be there for me, ride a bike with, or maybe just watch a sunrise/sunset with. Someone willing to visit the Medusa Cascade with. Link to post Share on other sites
Annapox Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I'm 21. I don't care how alike or different my partner and I are. My boyfriend and I are practically polar opposites, and we're great together. The traits I look for in a partner: Kindness, honesty, respectfulness, and a sense of humor. The things I want to do in romantic relationships (in no particular order): Laugh. Support each other through the hard times and celebrate the good times. Sit down to watch a movie and ACTUALLY WATCH THE MOVIE. Cuddle. Have discussions about absolutely anything without it getting awkward. Disagree without stressing out about it and learn from each other's perspectives. Dance badly, on purpose, just because we can. There are probably a lot more, but it's bedtime, so I'll leave it at that. So basically my description of a romantic relationship looks like a close friendship, except that I'm open to certain sensual/sexual-ish activities that I absolutely would never participate in with friends. Link to post Share on other sites
jimerman Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 i want a person who is not governed by there emotions, and doesn't want sex. i may be really picky but I'm okay being alone so i will not settle for anyone under my expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
Ghizwiz Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 If I ever know what I want in a relationship, then maybe I will actually pursue one. Ha, I was going to post exactly that! I'm 48 and still not sure what I want in a relationship - haven't had enough experience in the few relationships I've attempted & certainly never had a successful long term one, so how would I really know? My guess: I want to have most of all the good aspects of being part of a couple that I see & envy from the outside, with as few of the negative aspects I see couples struggling with, as possible! As far as sex, starting out with it off the table! But as we get to know each other over a long time, allowing for the possibility that feelings may change over time. Each of us willing to revisit the topic every few years or so & hear one another out, and decide together where to go from there. No pressure, just open minded discussions. They couldn't be far right religious conservative or we'd probably kill each other lol. I'm an animal lover so I think they couldn't be totally indifferent to animals for us to click. Other than that? I could try to put together a list... but if I'm honest I'd still be guessing. I've been thinking of attempting the OK Cupid thing, I'll report here too if I have any success. Good luck to all of us in finding what we seek! Link to post Share on other sites
Theoryal Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I can't speak for everyone, but here's my personal list: 1) Emotional sharing and openness, empathy, someone who will laugh with me and cry with me, sharing a deep understanding of each-others feelings and values 2) Commitment and a sense of unity, working together, living for each-other, knowing we're going to be there through thick and thin, being willing to work through misunderstandings, disagreements, and difficulties and willing to make personal sacrifices for each-other's well being. Also wisdom in making choices that will benefit and reinforce our relationship - thinking ahead as a unit, not as two separate people who just happen to be in the same place right now. 3) Cooperation, not competition, a feeling of always being on the same team. Being able to both feel important and needed. Nobody feeling like the parent of the other, but both of us having ways we really rely on each-other. 4) Great conversations about ideas, theories, imagination, being able to have a good Mental connection, tracking with each-other easily and finding similar things interesting to think and talk about 5) Respect for and acceptance of each-other's differences, being able to have patience and an encouraging attitude, not being pushy or judgemental. Being able to be genuine, to just be ourselves together and never feel self-conscious 6) Lots and lots of cuddling and general affection, sweet, tender kisses, and romantic moments with absolutely no sexual tension at all, never getting taken over by lustful feelings, never moving towards sex, just being able to be really intimate in ways that people might typically associate with a sexual relationship but it never leads to that, never having those expectations. And along with that not feeling pressure to keep someone sexually attracted, not feeling pressured to steal the show from all the sexy bodies paraded before your partner's eyes everywhere they look in the media. 7) Plenty of affirmation and reassurance of our love and appreciation for each-other. No guessing games, or leaving it just understood that because you're still here you must love me, I like a constant flow of loving communication, whether it's through affectionate touches, or compliments, or saying I love you, positive feedback is really important, I don't want a relationship where the good is taken for granted and only the bad stuff gets pointed out. 8 ) Being able to enjoy comfortable silence together, to just BE together even if we're lost in our own thoughts or doing our own thing in the same room. 9) Being playful and silly together 10) Being able to share almost everything, clothes, shampoo, food, etc. I'd love to share a bed but I've come to realize that I'm just too much of a blanket-hog, and toss-and-turner and need everything arranged just so, so realistically I'm much more comfortable with my own bed, but sharing a room is still good. I think my bed is kind of my main personal space, so while I'm okay having very special somebody's visit my bed for a cuddle i kinda like it still being my bed, my pillows, my blankets. I have almost no personal space bubble, but my bed is sort of my sanctuary. 11) Sharing a circle of good friends but being extra specially close with each-other 12) Feeling like part of each-other's family and the possibility of raising children together. Basically what I've always wanted in a 'relationship' is a Best Friend with Lifetime Commitment and extra Cuddles and Emotional Intimacy. Link to post Share on other sites
yomo Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Personally I think I would want something closer to a queerplatonic relationship (at least right now). I don't like a lot of sensual touching or kissing (though kisses on the top of my head etc. are fine as long as it's not constant), but I do like the idea of falling asleep in another person's arms and holding hands sometimes and having a close bond. Link to post Share on other sites
funnyhousemate Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I would like to share a bit of everyday life, and the feeling that we complement and mean a lot to each other. To be able to show my affection through actions, and the occasional cuddle or non-sensual kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
funnyhousemate Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 23 year old aro-ace here. I want a best friend who I can spend lots of time with and maybe even hug. I'm looking for mutual trust, respect, and communication. Maybe we'll live together (with separate beds), maybe not. Basically we'd be BFFs who are a little bit too attached to each other, haha. They don't HAVE to be ace, but it would be ideal/preferred. I don't filter my friends by their sexuality. I just can't see myself having this kind of relationship with an allosexual--they would most likely have a romantic/sexual partner whom they'd love more than me. And that's not okay. I want to be someone's absolute favorite, and they'd be my absolute favorite. :3 I agree, I don't filter my friends by their sexuality either. Only I would be perfectly fine not being someone's favourite. As long as my mate doesn't live with her romantic partner and has some time to spend with me too, I'm fine. It would be great if my mate was asexual too, that would make things definitely easier, but it would be just a stroke of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
nicknack12 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I want someone that I will love unconditionally, and they will love me in return. I really don't care what type of love it is (romantic, platonic, somewhere in between...) I just want to once again experience the kind of love that I've felt and adored in the past Link to post Share on other sites
animanova Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Affection, because I crave it and it's embarrassing, shh. Where I don't have to worry about being dumped because "x is prettier and can have sex" or just pressured into sex, even though I've clearly said no, I won't. I'd also prefer not being called a tease, because I'm not trying to be. I get that the cuddling and things I want are generalized to be more sexual, but can't I just be with someone and not worry that if I touch them, they'll want me? I hate being seen as a sex toy, and "playing hard to get" when I'm not. Ah, wishful thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Barylambda Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I think many of us here do need love and affection to some degree, myself included. Not all of us, of course, but there is a number of us. On the other, we see the positive side of relationships that couples show in public. Many relationships do have serious problems and conflicts. And, some relationships are downright abusive. I have seen the dark side of love many times in my friends as they tell me the problems they are having. In fact, two of my friends are going through divorces right now this year. One involved infidelity on the part of my friend's spouse, and the other friend had a spouse who was emotionally and verbally abusive. 50% of marriages today end in divorce. That being said, I think many of us on here would make wonderful romantic partners. We seen mistakes made by others and had time to figure out what we want in a relationship. Plus, I would think a woman would want to date an asexual man. Think about it, you would have a wonderful evening of enjoying each other's company without worrying about him constantly trying to get into your pants. He would actually see you as a human being rather than the next sexual conquest. Of course, this all just my humble opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Barylambda Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 And, I forgot to add; we would accept our romantic partners or deep personal friend for who they are. I mean everything about them. I would not want to change the things in a person that made them special in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
funnyhousemate Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 ...Plus, I would think a woman would want to date an asexual man. Think about it, you would have a wonderful evening of enjoying each other's company without worrying about him constantly trying to get into your pants. He would actually see you as a human being rather than the next sexual conquest. Of course, this all just my humble opinion. Sounds totally natural to me, regardless of orientation, and yet so far I've never met in real life a woman who would agree with us. They may think this way on a day when they are down or fed up, but the next day they'll be again looking eagerly for that "thrill". Link to post Share on other sites
brightberry Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Cuddling and a conversation partner - preferably someone who has most of the same interests as me and is quite knowledgable in said interests. Link to post Share on other sites
Barylambda Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 funnyhousemate, that does seem to be truth. Unfortunately, I think this more a product of the messaging of our society and, in particular, bro culture. But if '50 Shades' is any indication, the dynamics between men and women today are totally off the rails. Link to post Share on other sites
123cosmo Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Though kissing and sex are not on my list i would like a otherwise normal relationship, one with emotional feelings. I would date a sexual person as long as they accept my feelings on sex. I see myself with a guy but if im meant for a lady than thats all good too Link to post Share on other sites
trixyd Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Age: 27 Don't most people want the same things from a relationship? (obv minus the sex here) A partner in crime, someone to share my life with who understands me and cares for me. Someone who shares my humour and interests and will always be there for me. Someone to travel with, laugh with and do silly things with. Someone to cuddle up to at night. ^^ I'm 34 and this :D Although the older I get without being in a relationship, the more I find it doesn't actually bother me. Link to post Share on other sites
*a*rteest Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 I just want someone to help me pay the ^%$#ed bills!! Link to post Share on other sites
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