Nex Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 So I met this marvellous individual on OkCupid, it turned out we attended the same university, and both of us are asexual and they are fantastic, and I may have a huge crush, we go out for coffee all the time and we've gone out the the movies too. We even held hands once, so I think we're dating, and I think I'd like us to be dating, but i have no idea how to broach the subject, and no idea if we are already dating or how to find out. Both of us have mentioned, that a kind of queer platoinic deal is what we're looking for, am i just being overly worried about this? They are more shy than I am and in the past other people have always taken charge, any tips or advice would be much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Personally I would go with the flow and not worry about sticking a label on it right away. But if that doesn't float your boat, I would ask/suggest subtly rather than harassing them about it if they're that shy. Make sure they know you're enjoying your relationship and that you want it to continue, and then maybe go on to ask what they consider it to be... I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Skri Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 It would depends on the kind of relationship, but I usually like to know... so I would ask. Also I like honesty, therefore double point for the asking thing, in my opinion. But, you know, this is me. I agree with dissolved_girl in the meaning of going with your boat, whatever that would mean. Just remember to be nice and kind and I don't see why it should go wrong ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I agree with dissolved_girl in the meaning of going with your boat, whatever that would mean. ...Floating your boat. It means whatever does it for you. Maybe you don't have that phrase in the south ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Skri Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I agree with dissolved_girl in the meaning of going with your boat, whatever that would mean. ...Floating your boat. It means whatever does it for you. Maybe you don't have that phrase in the south ^_^ Ahahah so I got it right, good! I do not have that phrase because I am Italian :) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 They are more shy than I am and in the past other people have always taken charge, any tips or advice would be much appreciated. Yes, here's my tip: remember those people who "have always taken charge"? Do what they did! What did you like when your date took charge and what didn't you like? Use that info to inform your next moves. I'm also on Skri's page... if someone can't even answer a question about the status of a relationship, you've got bigger problems on your hand, so asking seems more than appropriate to me. Link to post Share on other sites
MaxAmoeba Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Don't panic or worry. Take time for things to slow down. Link to post Share on other sites
Nex Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thank you everyone so much for the advice, I ended up talking to them and it went really well, we are now dating and though the conversation was not managed without extensive blushing on both sides I could not be happier. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 just do what comes naturally, then the state of affection may flourish, take it slow, take it easy and be comfortable in each others presence. Do'nt overthink the labels at this stage, its better this way that it clears the mind of any preconceived self-judgement of what you think you may feel, rather than what you're feeling in the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
ayuki Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Thank you everyone so much for the advice, I ended up talking to them and it went really well, we are now dating and though the conversation was not managed without extensive blushing on both sides I could not be happier. ^_^ Aw, good for you! I came too late to tell you to ask them "So, am I your zucchini?" ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
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