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relationship starting advice?


Nex

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So I met this marvellous individual on OkCupid, it turned out we attended the same university, and both of us are asexual and they are fantastic, and I may have a huge crush, we go out for coffee all the time and we've gone out the the movies too. We even held hands once, so I think we're dating, and I think I'd like us to be dating, but i have no idea how to broach the subject, and no idea if we are already dating or how to find out.

Both of us have mentioned, that a kind of queer platoinic deal is what we're looking for, am i just being overly worried about this? They are more shy than I am and in the past other people have always taken charge, any tips or advice would be much appreciated.

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Personally I would go with the flow and not worry about sticking a label on it right away.

But if that doesn't float your boat, I would ask/suggest subtly rather than harassing them about it if they're that shy. Make sure they know you're enjoying your relationship and that you want it to continue, and then maybe go on to ask what they consider it to be... I don't know.

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It would depends on the kind of relationship, but I usually like to know... so I would ask. Also I like honesty, therefore double point for the asking thing, in my opinion. But, you know, this is me.

I agree with dissolved_girl in the meaning of going with your boat, whatever that would mean. Just remember to be nice and kind and I don't see why it should go wrong ^_^

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I agree with dissolved_girl in the meaning of going with your boat, whatever that would mean.

...Floating your boat. It means whatever does it for you.

Maybe you don't have that phrase in the south ^_^

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I agree with dissolved_girl in the meaning of going with your boat, whatever that would mean.

...Floating your boat. It means whatever does it for you.

Maybe you don't have that phrase in the south ^_^

Ahahah so I got it right, good!

I do not have that phrase because I am Italian :)

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They are more shy than I am and in the past other people have always taken charge, any tips or advice would be much appreciated.

Yes, here's my tip: remember those people who "have always taken charge"? Do what they did! What did you like when your date took charge and what didn't you like? Use that info to inform your next moves.

I'm also on Skri's page... if someone can't even answer a question about the status of a relationship, you've got bigger problems on your hand, so asking seems more than appropriate to me.

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Thank you everyone so much for the advice, I ended up talking to them and it went really well, we are now dating and though the conversation was not managed without extensive blushing on both sides I could not be happier. ^_^

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Janus the Fox
just do what comes naturally, then the state of affection may flourish, take it slow, take it easy and be comfortable in each others presence. Do'nt overthink the labels at this stage, its better this way that it clears the mind of any preconceived self-judgement of what you think you may feel, rather than what you're feeling in the moment.
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  • 1 month later...

Thank you everyone so much for the advice, I ended up talking to them and it went really well, we are now dating and though the conversation was not managed without extensive blushing on both sides I could not be happier. ^_^

Aw, good for you! I came too late to tell you to ask them "So, am I your zucchini?" ^_^

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