Hi! (very inspired title)

[Nyew]

Hi and nice to meet you. I'm 22 years old and french (so hello from France!)

I think I discovered that my sexual orientation had a name about 1 year ago so it's pretty new, although I knew I wasn't "normal" (or so I thought) for a long time before.

Oh and I'm heteroromantic, and a woman, and human until proven otherwise!

So! I don't really remember how I came to know about asexuality but it was probably a combination of my best friend and the internet in general. I had a weird, awkward, phase when I knew I was asexual but it was kind of foggy in my head. Like when you know something but it just doesn't seem real enough to truly acknowledge its existence (please tell me I'm making sense) At some point it just strucked me "Oh, it's real." and I made my coming out... to myself. I made it to my bestfriend but that was just a formality since she already knew and to another close friend who already knew too anyway.

And I've tried to come out to some other people but that didn't go so well but I guess I don't need to give you some examples of their answers. (especially since I've had a pretty "bad" experience, convincing them it has nothing to do with it is a little difficult)

I haven't come out to my family and probably never will. It would hurt me too much and I'm not so brave when it comes to asserting myself. I just stick with "not interested" when asked anything related to sex... or relationships.

Also, when I realized I was actually asexual I had that sad thought that I would never be in a good relationship, ever, since all of my previous relationships failed because I couldn't force myself to have sex with my boyfriend. I still think it's true but I have more or less came to terms with the fact that I will be alone forever, I guess.

Woa, that's a little depressing, isn't it? To lighten up things a little here's a smile -> :)

I was wondering, do you feel uncomfortable when people make sex jokes around you?
And also, do you have trouble understanding sexual subtext?

And another smile -> :)

[dash]

Welcome to AVEN!

About jokes: It depends on the joke, to be honest, and the context.

About subtext: Usually not? But sometimes I wish I did. It's so much "I didn't need to know that."

[LeaveOnYourColours]

Welcome!

I think sexual jokes are funny around people who don't/can't mean anything by it. So with my friends, hilarious. With my boyfriend, it makes me really uncomfortable.

I get the subtext almost all the time. I can recall a few instances in which I didn't understand it though.

[Karret]

-wipes away single tear- That intro was just... too inspirational for words. -melodramatically brings the back of hand to forehead-

Welcome to AVEN!

I'm sorry to hear that you've had some troubles about conveying this to other people, but it's good that you've been able to tell two close friends! <3

For your first question - if it's a joke directed at a specific person [mostly me], then I'm like eeehh.. no. But! if it's just general sex jokes/innuendos etc, [things like... "that's what she said" or even this alternate one that me and my sisters have, "sounds like my first time"] I think are pretty damn funny, because I disassociate humor from reality, so it's not like someone's trying to make an advance towards me or anything, it's just in a hypothetical world, mentioning a humorous theoretical situation. Cards Against Humanity is another example. XDa

For your 2nd question - ehhhh sometimes. If ... wait.. :Ua ... gfhdfgklshfb I thought you meant innuendos, so I think yes I probably am very shitty at understanding sexual subtext if I were in a scenario where sexual stuff is intended. If I notice anything, I'd just get awkward and be like eeehhrmmm wat r u doin? stahp this nonsense, human. >:C

[unless you DO mean innuendos/euphemisms, in which case I mostly get them if I've been told them, or the context clues me in, but I usually have to ask or look something up at least once. ]

[Binary Star]

Hey!

Ahh I kind of flipped at my housemates over Cards Against Humanity. Because I refused to play & now they have a whole series of inappropriate in jokes I don't get. ): I'm.. not good with inappropriate jokes usually. Unless I make them, anyway.. xD There have been a few people who have thought it was funny to make me uncomfortable by making inappropriate jokes in the past, they suck. xb

I'm not really sure about the answer to your second question just so you know I haven't ignored it. ^ ^;;

[Karret]

Hey!

Ahh I kind of flipped at my housemates over Cards Against Humanity. Because I refused to play & now they have a whole series of inappropriate in jokes I don't get. ): I'm.. not good with inappropriate jokes usually. Unless I make them, anyway.. xD There have been a few people who have thought it was funny to make me uncomfortable by making inappropriate jokes in the past, they suck. xb

I'm not really sure about the answer to your second question just so you know I haven't ignored it. ^ ^;;

Hmm, well perhaps you could come to appreciate them as time goes on? -shrug- You might not, and that's fine. I don't remember how much I cared for them when I was younger, but my general personality is to find the humor in things, so my sense of humor includes almost everything, or at least some jokes from just about every uhhh.. "genre" of comedy. xDa from the lamest tamest pun, to sex jokes, to black comedy.. So yeah~ Cx

I've had people insist on using pet names for me, which always annoys the crap out of me. = w=

[Binary Star]

Yeah, I joke about pretty much everything else too. So maybe I will. Including many usually unappreciated attempts to lighten situations through humour. xb

[Nyew]

I'm french so I might no use the right words all the time, I'm going to give you some examples then. ^^'

- Situation 1 : My friends are talking about "something" but they actually imply something sexual... like not so long ago some of them were talking about "cooking" and I absolutely didn't get what they were talking about so that just didn't make any sense to me. They then explained to me they were actually talking about sex... Uh riiiiiight. Still don't get it though. I guess that's what you mean by innuendo, right? I dont know, this is confusing.

- Situation 2 : In TV shows, movies, fiction, etc. : "Oh they totally want to have sex with each other!/They're going to have sex" when I just see... well, nothing. I'm not completely blind but most of the time it's not clear enough for me to get it.

[Binary Star]

Situation 2 I totally get. xD I always think they're good friends.

[Xavy]

Welcome. I don't think asexuality stops you from having a good relationship, but it does make it harder.

[Nyew]

Ooooh, I forgot to thank everybody for the warm welcome and the answers!

Thank you!

[Lady Girl]

Hi and welcome! I think understanding sex jokes and even innuendo is partly a matter of exposure and someone to explain...I'm sexual and was kind of naive about a lot, but my asexual husband had been around plenty of guys who said stuff and so I would ask him sometimes and he knew! Anyway, welcome to AVEN and I hope you love it here!!! :)

[Karret]

I'm french so I might no use the right words all the time, I'm going to give you some examples then. ^^'

- Situation 1 : My friends are talking about "something" but they actually imply something sexual... like not so long ago some of them were talking about "cooking" and I absolutely didn't get what they were talking about so that just didn't make any sense to me. They then explained to me they were actually talking about sex... Uh riiiiiight. Still don't get it though. I guess that's what you mean by innuendo, right? I dont know, this is confusing.

- Situation 2 : In TV shows, movies, fiction, etc. : "Oh they totally want to have sex with each other!/They're going to have sex" when I just see... well, nothing. I'm not completely blind but most of the time it's not clear enough for me to get it.

Hey don't sweat it, you're still quite fluent, so you're doing really awesome! <3

- Yeah like... uh Tacos and Sausages or something being an odd euphemism for ... parts. xD yeah. Those depend on the circumstance; if it's some stupid childish thing like "do you want your muffin buttered" that's just like /eyeroll, jesus fuck, grow up [if I catch it - I don't know if I always catch them, but I'm pretty good at it]. When it's a new innuendo I hadn't known, I don't immediately find it amusing, I'm just like 'ah, okay' Sometimes it just doesn't instantly click and you need to hear someone else's giggling to rethink a situation.

- Hmmm yeah, I getcha. I'm worse at it IRL than in movies/tvs/etc, because they use like.. music and lighting and shit to emphasize it, and basically, the movies doesn't seem like reality, so it's like "pfft, of course so and so will fall for so and so, it's the movies, when do they not?" It takes some time to understand the cues, and even then, sometimes they slip past ya. xDa [Though I think this is likely true of anyone. :U]

[Nyew]

I've never been confronted to that kind of situation IRL... I guess? It's not like I would pay much attention anyway.

I'm really bothered by TV Shows because, you know, fandom. Like I hear sooooo many people say "THEY TOTALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX" and I'm like "what? They're just talking to each other". It's not like I don't want to understand their theories, it's just that I always feel like they're overinterpreting (is that even a word?) what they see.

[Lone Ranger]

Hi Nyew

Welcome to Aven :)

[Nyew]

Caaaaaake! <3

[Karret]

I've never been confronted to that kind of situation IRL... I guess? It's not like I would pay much attention anyway.

I'm really bothered by TV Shows because, you know, fandom. Like I hear sooooo many people say "THEY TOTALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX" and I'm like "what? They're just talking to each other". It's not like I don't want to understand their theories, it's just that I always feel like they're overinterpreting (is that even a word?) what they see.

XD I think I was in like middle school a little bit, if I recall correctly. That was a while ago, though, and I've slept since then, so I don't remember for sure.

Eeh, with fandoms, as I understand it, they just... eventually everyone gets paired with everyone else. Crack shipping [where shit doesn't make any logical/canonical sense], uuhh... other... kinds of shipping? And yeah. It just happens. People are dumb sometimes. XD That's how I rationalize it. [they just I guess read into a relationship, or consider the dynamics of each character's personality and how they would play off each other, and what it would be like if they were dating or romantically/sexually involved, and then work to figure out how it would make sense, or be cute or something... I think...]