Does being aroused at the sight of people mean I'm sexually attracted to them?

[Anterei]

Hello. I'm sorry for not saying hi on the forums or anything before, but I have a question that I need to get an answer to before I get even more confused.

I've never wanted sex with anyone, but I do find people aesthetically attractive. The thing is that sometimes, not always, when I look at pictures of pretty girls or handsome guys, I get genitally aroused, while still not wanting to actually do anything sexual with them. Does this make me grey instead of 'pure' asexual or is it the urge that qualifies for sexual attraction, not the physical response? Thanks for any help.

[Iago]

I think you can enjoy looking at someone without wanting to do anything. I enjoy the Sistine Chapel but have no desire to hump it!

[Teavana]

I sometimes find myself giggling and getting the butterflies around some people, but I never get genitally aroused by them. I usually giggle around men, but once in a while it's another woman. Do I like them in a sexual or romantic way? No. I guess my giggling is a spandrel for me. There were studies done that women of all different sexual orientations get genitally aroused by people having sex, but it doesn't mean they are all bisexual. It doesn't matter what happens down there, it matters what happens in your brain.

[wishystar]

if you do not want something to do with them, even if you feel aroused by them, i think it is not considered sexual attraction. though i do not know how sexual attraction feels like, as i read about it from people who experiences them, they describe it as like hunger that needs to be sated or something.

i never experience that kind of feeling ever, and i really do not understand. though i can feel arouse, i find it disconnected to a person. it is just my own healthy body responding to something that i really do not understand.

[seekingfurtherillumination]

This is something I've been sort of struggling to figure out lately. The idea of identifying as asexual is still new to me, and while I definitely believe the label fits me, little things like this add to the confusion in my head. I guess lately, I've been more aware of my body and how I react to certain romantic/sensual/sexual stimuli since I'm still trying to figure out my own asexuality. I definitely do feel arousal, but I've never wanted to act on it before. In the past, I thought I did. I thought the fact that I felt arousal meant I wanted to have sex, but when in an actual situation where things could lead to sex I became uninterested. I'm starting to figure out that arousal is just a natural reaction our bodies produce, and it is possible to be asexual and still feel arousal because arousal does not equal sexual attraction. I mean recently, I felt aroused watching two gay men make out in a movie I was watching because I was deeply emotionally invested in their characters and the relationship between them. There was no sexual attraction involved. It was just my body's way of reacting to a stimulus.

I came across a term today: autochoriossexual, which is defined as "A disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies, or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein." I don't really know much about autochoriossexuality, just the little I've read, but it might be something you want to look into. From what I understand, though, it's not a sexuality per se, just a way one can describe their sexuality. Still it is thought to fall under the Asexual/Gray-A umbrella. Also the fact that someone invented a word that describes a bit of what I've been feeling makes me feel better that there are others out there who feel the same way. Anyway, hope this was helpful.

[Glyn]

There is a difference between sexual arousal and sexual attraction. For example, I have heard it being reported that male rape victims have experienced getting an erection, even when they don't want to have sex with the rapist.

Here's a rather personal example - but please bare in mind, there's too much information below:

I have had certain personal problems since my early-to-mid teens with bleeding with my back passage. I have spoken to my local doctor, who has examined me down there (I imagine that kind of examination wasn't one of the better parts of the job - it certainly wasn't one of MY favourite experiences!)

I have no sexual attraction whatsoever with the doctor. Hell, I have no interest in having sex with anyone for that matter - yet during the examination I found I developed an erection.

[Star Bit]

Sexual attraction is desiring sex with someone specific, so only having sexual arousal does not make it sexual attraction. There are asexuals that feel sexual arousal and still identify as asexual/never desire to have sex with anyone.

Autochroissexual is just someone who gets aroused by what they do not sexually desire, which is completely normal regardless of orientation. Some ppl cant tell the difference between libido/masturbation-drive/being aroused by content and sexual attraction, but that can be clarified with proper information.

[Perseus]

Anterei I think I have been going through the same thing as you. I think the first thing to remember is that asexuality can mean lack of sexual attraction or low or absent interest in sexual activity. I think most people think that Asexuality means "you are not attracted to anyone or sexually attracted to anyone".

We have proof that this is not the case. Just look at all the member profiles that show some form of attraction ( sentual, sexual, or romantic). You are not alone. Many asexuals feel aesthetic attraction to men and women. I might also just be a fetish. A lot of asexuals have different kinds of fetishes. I have some myself, but I still consider myself asexual because of the low interest in sexual activity. I also agree with everything Star Bit said.

[Yeast]

I've never had sex, despite my age, but I have what I believe is a romantic attraction to certain pornographic actors in a vast collection of erotic material I've collected over the years. I really dislike labels, especially when they're used as prescribed - to label people. OK, maybe this makes me "Autochroissexual" but I'm unique as a human being and simply placing me in a box and decorating me doesn't mean I taste just like the next Big Mac. The problem with labels is they don't stick forever. My "Autochroissexuality" could vanish in a flash if I ever met any of my favorite actors and we found each other compatible. Does this mean I'm not asexual? I'm certainly virgin after all these years. Still "ace". Yet sometimes I think my world is shaped simply by the fact sexuality is learned and my "antisociality" has worked against me. We need to be taught how to appropriately eliminate bodily waste to keep our house from filling with excrement. Yea, I guess in a sense I never learned how to use the toilet. Of course all one needs is tissue paper in my case and yes, I dispose of it properly. Again, who was there to teach me? In America one assumes it is some 17 year old stranger in the back seat of the car. Barring this - who else? Mom or some other family member? Certainly not where I come from! So there one has it. My "antisociaity" is rapidly eroding now that I'm retired with all the time in the world. I may eventually abandon this society completely when and if my asexuality becomes a thing of the past. Nobody knows what the future holds. One thing is certain though. Despite all the changes in my life I remain myself, no matter what gets stuck to me.

[Tessc]

The key term in your question is that you have never wanted to have sex with anyone. Aesthetic attraction and being physically turned on by people don't equate to sexual attraction. Technically yes, you could label yourself as grey. The fact that you've never felt sexual attraction to anyone definitely makes you some kind of ace, although whether it's grey, demi, ace, or anything else is entirely up to you :)

[WünderBâhr]

I see arousal as biological response to stimuli; like, smelling food and salivating because it smells good or reminds you that you haven't eaten in awhile and might be hungry. Attraction would be where you only get hungry when you smell cake and won't be satisfied until you eat it. Obviously, this is just an analogy. Not trying to say that anyone who eats cake after smelling it is sexually attracted to it.... :p

[WoodwindWhistler]

if you do not want something to do with them, even if you feel aroused by them, i think it is not considered sexual attraction. though i do not know how sexual attraction feels like, as i read about it from people who experiences them, they describe it as like hunger that needs to be sated or something.

i never experience that kind of feeling ever, and i really do not understand. though i can feel arouse, i find it disconnected to a person. it is just my own healthy body responding to something that i really do not understand.

This.

I waffle back and forth between thinking of myself as graysexual or asexual because all the times I can remember, when I've pictured doing something, it was an intentional, experimental decision like hmmm, "what would this be like if," or liking the body sensations it brought up, not an innate mental push I had towards it or something that was automatically springing to mind. Also, when actually doing things, I could stop at any time and not "want" any more. By this definition, I'm asexual, but it's easier to describe the sum total of my experience as gray, because it's flexible, varying, and has no set definition.

[shockkkk]

Most people outside of the asexual community would consider it sexual attraction. Most people inside the asexual community don't. It's one of the big reasons I prefer the definition of asexuality to be "has no desire for partnered sex".

[Augustus]

It could mean that you are sexually attracted to them, but it doesn't necessarily mean that.

Usually, what means you are sexually attracted to someone is desiring to have sex with them. The smell of burrito might make you salivate, but unless you actually feel like eating a burrito, then you aren't attracted to it.

[romantic-woman]

if you don't desire to act on it or don't want/need/ask for partnered sex it is not a sexual attraction

[Tarfeather]

Biological male perspective: Slight genital arousal in random situations is normal. If you get a full erection just from looking at something, I'd say you are probably attracted to it, not just aroused.

[HotSauceBopp]

On 1/26/2015 at 1:25 PM, Augustus said:

It could mean that you are sexually attracted to them, but it doesn't necessarily mean that.

Usually, what means you are sexually attracted to someone is desiring to have sex with them. The smell of burrito might make you salivate, but unless you actually feel like eating a burrito, then you aren't attracted to it.

Burritos. Lol. I laughed at this. Lol. It really is a good analogy though

[Lilihierax]

Sexual arousal (on it's own) is not sexual attraction.  Sexual attraction is more of a mental/psychological thing - when people know in their conscious minds they want to have sex with that person. Of course, arousal can happen at the same time as attraction, but they are two different things.

 

tl;dr:  Yes, you can still count as asexual even with the arousal experience you described.

[Lilihierax]

On 1/25/2015 at 11:33 AM, Glyn said:

For example, I have heard it being reported that male rape victims have experienced getting an erection, even when they don't want to have sex with the rapist.

Yes, female victims too (feeling gential arousal during a sexual assault).  I think it's called arousal non-concordance.