Am I Really Asexual?

[mysteryxd]

I realize that there are quite a bit of these on here and I'm sorry for adding to pile but I really just want an opinion or assurance I guess.

I'm a 21 year old male and I've never actually liked anyone or ever wanted to do anything with anyone. I mean the most I've ever thought of was "Oh man, I wanna be friends with you" to both genders. Over the past couple years I began to wonder if maybe I was actually gay since I've never had any feelings for a girl but I was just left with the same result and now I think I'm asexual.

I do "relieve" myself once in a while but thats more for destressing I guess and I'm not sure if it's important but I find anything like having a conversation about a hot girl for example to just be really uncomfortable, I just don't think of people like that.

I don't want to be asexual because I want a wife and kids one day and while I'm used to being alone I guess I just really want to not die alone. So all in all I guess I just want an opinion as to if you guys think I'm asexual. I think I know the answer but I just want to hear it.

Thanks and sorry for making another post for an opinion.

[Gizamaluke]

I can't say if you are or are not asexual, I'm afraid that's something that you need to figure out for yourself. In terms of what you want in life, don't worry, you can still be asexual and have a family, while many people on AVEN will say 'ew, no way' there's still a large sum that want a family, of their own, through normal methods or adoption. There's even one woman who just loves being pregnant on this site, because she loves her husband and having a large family.

There could be many reason as to why you've not found a girl attractive, maybe you don't know them well enough, maybe you're too distant, have very high standards or are simply not willing, at this stage, to enter into any kind of commitment. This could be all in your mind, you might be feeling pressured into having sex, a girlfriend and a 'normal' life so the fact that you haven't achieved any of that as recently as you assumed may have you feeling sore, lost or upset.

Reflect on yourself and other people, not in private, but in public, you don't need to ask them things, just simply look at them and try to understand your relationship to them, your feelings for them and how this fits into your personal image of yourself. You might get an answer, you might not, but there's no harm in soul searching.

[Karret]

I think there's a strong possibility you could be.

HOWEVER! Don't worry, you can be asexual and still get a wife and kids if you want them. The two are not mutually exclusive!

It'll just require some open, honest discussion with whomever you think might be a good person to spend the rest of your life with or what have you. There are plenty of aces here who have worked out a compromise with their SOs and they will have sex with them for their SO's benefit out of love, and there's a mutual understanding there, even if one is an ace and doesn't sexually desire their SO. That'll need to be a thing you work out with your SO, whenever you meet her, but it is an entirely possible route for you to take.

[mysteryxd]

Thanks for the advice guys, it really helped put things in perspective :)