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ace-phobic sayings?


in-the-neighbourhood

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Sorry for the double post, this is not really ace-phobic, but I was just watching a music video that brought up a memory of the ex I mentioned in my post above.

Once (before I figured out I was asexual..) we were at a convenient store and I bought a lollipop, a little later that day he was trying to get me to give in and I kept telling him I wasn't in the mood for anything and then he got angry with me saying he couldn't believe I had bought a lollipop and did not think it wouldn't get him excited, I was so shocked!! It also took me ages to realize what the lollipop was a symbol for!

Do all sexuals think this way?

I did know two sisters once who referred to women they fancied as 'lollipops'. Took me ages to get the reference...

To women? Maybe I am thinking of a different sexual lollipop reference!

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"biology says reproduction is the meaning of life"

"you can't be in a truly close relationship if you haven't had sex"

Biology also "says" that once you have kids you have done your job and can now die, and that the only meaning of sex is to reproduce.

I imagine sexual people would also have a slight problem with such interpretation of "biology" ">>

Well, human infants need a LOT of care. So I don't think human biology says that someone who has had a baby can now die because the babies wouldn't survive.

Octopi are like that, though.

And praying mantises are... interesting.

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How about the not-mean-but-didn't-think-it-through response: "Oh, that must make your life so much easier!"

Yeeeeah not really.

XDa You know... I kind of had that from a friend who kept talking to me about her relationship problems and I just kept saying "well don't date then; dating's dumb" and she said something along the lines of wishing to be more like me in this regard, and I was actually like 'I don't blame you" XD I think in my case, I was the one who was urp... not thinking it through/being careless. fysgdfkgdflksf This was I believe before I actually figured out about asexuality and was just running around thinking people who dated/had sex were silly/dumb. XD In my case, it's actually better for others that I learned about asexuality, so I won't unintentionally try to push my asexuality on them anymore. sklad fkgdfkgsg

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Stupid girl: "What? You're asexual? You just need to get raped. I'm going to rape you. Actually, (friend that everyone thinks I'm in love with) should do it."

Stupid boy: "But then it wouldn't be rape because she'd* enjoy it." *Female pronoun for me because pre-trans-coming-out.

Me: (But, it would still be rape, even if I enjoyed it. But, rape is traumatizing. But, I don't have sexual desires for said friend. But, but, but... Agh!)

Would it be considered self defense on my brain and conscious if I shoot them? Because I totally would have. ><"

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"But you're such a perv." AND "You're still young and naive." <--- See how they contradict each other? lol

"You're not asexual if you have a sex drive OR if you're into BDSM and fetishes OR if you get aroused OR if you have sex OR if you watch porn OR if you masturbate OR if OR if OR if OR if OR if OR if OR if " XD

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"But you're such a perv." AND "You're still young and naive." <--- See how they contradict each other? lol

"You're not asexual if you have a sex drive OR if you're into BDSM and fetishes OR if you get aroused OR if you have sex OR if you watch porn OR if you masturbate OR if OR if OR if OR if OR if OR if OR if " XD

"You're not asexual if you have genitals" :rolleyes:

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I'm not a virgin so of course I had the "you can't be asexual you've had sex" one.

"He just wasn't good enough" often followed by "you'll find a guy". Yeah right, I can't wait.

"Nah I don't believe you, asexuality doesn't really exist" with some variations like "I still think it's something else" (after hours trying to explain)

"That's because you've been abused" How thoughtful to remind me of that.

When I asked my last boyfriend why people could have sex buddies but couldn't have cuddle buddies he told me that was because "it's arousing"... so hugs are arousing, good to know.

I don't think it's the case in english but in french we have two words : "asexuel" which means asexual, and "asexué" which means you don't have genitals (not exactly but that's what people mean) and I constantly have to remember some people to use the right word because yeah, I have genitals.

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Can I just "like" this entire thread? I've heard so many of these...unfortunately from people I am or have been close to, since I've come out to very few people so far. I actually do understand that sex is very important to some people and that they can't imagine life without it...but it still doesn't make these kinds of comments any less hurtful.

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As a demisexual, I am already happy, if people believe, I exist. "Demisexuality isn't a thing!" "Demisexuality doesn't exist."

(Sorry, if my English is bad, btw... I'm not a native speaker.)

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  • 3 weeks later...
freewill-gray

"You're trying to deny pretty perverted desires to yourself, aren't you ?"

"Don't deny your desires, you're gay, accept it."

"So that's why you have dogs ! You're into animals !"

"Oh, a virgin, it's exciting. Come to the restroom with me, I'll show you something."

Oh, wow. I think you win the "most disturbing comments" competition OO whoever said that is seriously creepy

My frist reaction to the last pattern-text: you son of a bitch!

My second, and mannered reaction: why do they think, they are sooo good in the bed?! ridiculous!

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freewill-gray

"Nah I don't believe you, asexuality doesn't really exist" with some variations like "I still think it's something else" (after hours trying to explain)

It can really make me angry that they immediately get into denial "no, you don't" "it's just a phase".

Why can't they accept?! Why can't they get along with someone, who figured it out his/her on identity, and he/she is happy with it?!

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"Their faces in the pictures looks so withered, apparently life without sex have made them aging fast and looks lifeless"

:lol: I must say this one is hilarious. Asexual zombies !

I could show them my picture. I'm 30 but from what people say, on average, I look 18 and I got answers ranging from 15 to 21 :D

I've been told i look between 15-17, act like someone in there 40's. Not gonna lie, I kinda do. In reality, i'm 14, 15 in a matter of 2 weeks. Some say I'm a party pooper or what have you, if that equates to zombie like.

I'm 20, and have had kids at work saying I look 11 (although that's probably because of my height). I've also been stopped at cinemas and pubs. So yeah, faster aging? Pft.

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I'm not a virgin so of course I had the "you can't be asexual you've had sex" one.

"He just wasn't good enough" often followed by "you'll find a guy". Yeah right, I can't wait.

"Nah I don't believe you, asexuality doesn't really exist" with some variations like "I still think it's something else" (after hours trying to explain)

"That's because you've been abused" How thoughtful to remind me of that.

When I asked my last boyfriend why people could have sex buddies but couldn't have cuddle buddies he told me that was because "it's arousing"... so hugs are arousing, good to know.

I don't think it's the case in english but in french we have two words : "asexuel" which means asexual, and "asexué" which means you don't have genitals (not exactly but that's what people mean) and I constantly have to remember some people to use the right word because yeah, I have genitals.

I still can't get the meaning of asexué. We all have something down there, right?

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First reaction when I told my Mum was "you just haven't found the right person yet".

Second time we spoke about it she said "I hope you're wrong" and when I asked why she said something like she hoped for my sake so that I could experience falling in love, etc. She doesn't get that a) I really don't care, and b) just because I don't want sex doesn't mean I can't fall in love.

Also, I've had the reaction of "What, like snails?" -_-

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I'm not a virgin so of course I had the "you can't be asexual you've had sex" one.

"He just wasn't good enough" often followed by "you'll find a guy". Yeah right, I can't wait.

"Nah I don't believe you, asexuality doesn't really exist" with some variations like "I still think it's something else" (after hours trying to explain)

"That's because you've been abused" How thoughtful to remind me of that.

When I asked my last boyfriend why people could have sex buddies but couldn't have cuddle buddies he told me that was because "it's arousing"... so hugs are arousing, good to know.

I don't think it's the case in english but in french we have two words : "asexuel" which means asexual, and "asexué" which means you don't have genitals (not exactly but that's what people mean) and I constantly have to remember some people to use the right word because yeah, I have genitals.

I still can't get the meaning of asexué. We all have something down there, right?

Yeah, humans do, that's the point. (I should have said that in another way)

"asexué" means something that can reproduce on its own, like some plants for example. (therefore, people just use it to say "no genitals")

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Granted I was on an anonymous form and they did not know my age I was told that "I probably just have not finished going through puberty yet"

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I was recently asked if I can get hypnotized to not be ace anymore.

Meh, hypnosis is way overrated. I tried it once, only to find out that I've actually been doing that to myself for years in order to do my homework efficiently over long periods. It's basically just being really concentrated.

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EmotionalAndroid

Well I recently watched an episode of New Girl where one of the characters said the following: "If you're not having sex, it's not a relationship. It's just a girl you buy stuff for."

So there you go. *growls*

Yikes. That makes it sound like relationships are just bribery.

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TooOldForThis

Well, when I was a teen I told my mother I didn't intend to have sex, and her reply was "What a shame! I feel bad for the ladies out there, because you have a hot bod!"

In addition to the heteronormativity, and the objectification, she is my mother. Why is she commenting on my 'hot bod?!' Needless to say I was mortified.

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Well I recently watched an episode of New Girl where one of the characters said the following: "If you're not having sex, it's not a

relationship. It's just a girl you buy stuff for."

So there you go. *growls*

Yikes. That makes it sound like relationships are just bribery.

i'm thinking schmidt might have said it

anyway i had an argument with a person on another forum, and i found his arguments to be very insulting in that he kept saying the only reason was either abuse, disability or religion and wouldn't listen to my explanation of him confusing asexuality with celibacy or abstinence.

i posted videos from youtube (the dearlie song and a video blog from another girl), to these he made the point "oh those are europeans. if it were real, americans could describe it better" so his argument verged then onto xenophobia and then various other videos to point out how annoying it, when i said that was insulting like "stuff people say to asexuals" and the asexual bingo card, he replied he didn't see what was so insulting about it and his big argument "can't be real, i've never met an asexual"

i found it infuriating.

the person is a liberal politically.

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Well I recently watched an episode of New Girl where one of the characters said the following: "If you're not having sex, it's not a relationship. It's just a girl you buy stuff for."

So there you go. *growls*

Wow, that's so off-base. o_o

I've had a few relationships before, and I never had to buy things for any of those girls!

My boyfriend keeps buying me stuff, and it's kinda annoying actually. Seriously, I love fantasy books, but what the hell can you do with a tiny Rob Stark doll? And how the hell am I supposed to maintain my diet if he keeps giving me chocolate every time we meet? I try telling him that but he just doesn't get it, and other people are making fun of me for complaining because it just seems sweet to them, while to me it just looks weird.

I guess some people don't see it as a relationship if the guy doesn't buy stuff for the girl. Yet another crappy relationship "rule"...

For me, my ex would buy me a bunch of manga or anime merchandise. I liked it, but we were only in high school and neither of us was exactly rich. It was the start of my manga library, but I feel bad for letting him spend money on me when I couldn't really reciprocate.

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"Their faces in the pictures looks so withered, apparently life without sex have made them aging fast and looks lifeless"

:lol: I must say this one is hilarious. Asexual zombies !

I could show them my picture. I'm 30 but from what people say, on average, I look 18 and I got answers ranging from 15 to 21 :D

Lol I'm mistaken for a teenager all the time too, and have always been able to pass for about 5 years younger than I actually am.

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"Their faces in the pictures looks so withered, apparently life without sex have made them aging fast and looks lifeless"

:lol: I must say this one is hilarious. Asexual zombies !

I could show them my picture. I'm 30 but from what people say, on average, I look 18 and I got answers ranging from 15 to 21 :D

Lol I'm mistaken for a teenager all the time too, and have always been able to pass for about 5 years younger than I actually am.

Passing as younger than you are is awesome. Saves a lot of money on vacations (-; I can pass as down to (or up to?) 5 years younger than I am. When I was 18 a security personnel in an airport in the US thought I was below 13- she came and asked me how old I am, and got all embarrassed when I told her I'm 18. I then spotted a sign saying kids below 13 don't need to take their shoes off xD

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Well I recently watched an episode of New Girl where one of the characters said the following: "If you're not having sex, it's not a

relationship. It's just a girl you buy stuff for."

So there you go. *growls*

Yikes. That makes it sound like relationships are just bribery.

i'm thinking schmidt might have said it

anyway i had an argument with a person on another forum, and i found his arguments to be very insulting in that he kept saying the only reason was either abuse, disability or religion and wouldn't listen to my explanation of him confusing asexuality with celibacy or abstinence.

i posted videos from youtube (the dearlie song and a video blog from another girl), to these he made the point "oh those are europeans. if it were real, americans could describe it better" so his argument verged then onto xenophobia and then various other videos to point out how annoying it, when i said that was insulting like "stuff people say to asexuals" and the asexual bingo card, he replied he didn't see what was so insulting about it and his big argument "can't be real, i've never met an asexual"

i found it infuriating.

the person is a liberal politically.

When an argument gets this low, it's the sign to leave the conversation- no reason to pick up a fight you can't win.

We have a saying that you can never win an argument with a stupid person, because they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience...

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PinkEagleSoaring86

"Their faces in the pictures looks so withered, apparently life without sex have made them aging fast and looks lifeless"

:lol: I must say this one is hilarious. Asexual zombies !

I could show them my picture. I'm 30 but from what people say, on average, I look 18 and I got answers ranging from 15 to 21 :D

Lol I'm mistaken for a teenager all the time too, and have always been able to pass for about 5 years younger than I actually am.

Lol, oh wow! I just turned 29 on the 6th and I'm often mistaken for 20-25.

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"Look, I know asexuality is a 'real thing,' but no offense, but I just don't care about it. And I don't really think you are, anyway. Please don't talk about it." - said by my former best friend (that's not what ended our friendship, by the way, but it was one of the reasons)

Also, "If you're going to be that jaded then no one is ever going to want to be with you."

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"Their faces in the pictures looks so withered, apparently life without sex have made them aging fast and looks lifeless"

:lol: I must say this one is hilarious. Asexual zombies !

I could show them my picture. I'm 30 but from what people say, on average, I look 18 and I got answers ranging from 15 to 21 :D

Lol I'm mistaken for a teenager all the time too, and have always been able to pass for about 5 years younger than I actually am.

Lol, oh wow! I just turned 29 on the 6th and I'm often mistaken for 20-25.

From what I read on this thread, I believe I'm older than anyone here, (let's just say it's above 45 yrs old). And people have told me I look like I'm maybe 35 yrs old.

I actually think having sex makes one look older, due to all the physical and mental stress it puts on the human body!

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Oh man:

"How can someone without sexuality be a sexual minority?"

"You're just cis, straight, celibate people invading our space!"

"They'll die out since they won't reproduce" (The last 100 000 years weren't enough? just a few more years, is it?)

Every "they just want to invent new words" and "special snowflake" comment, ever.

"Sex is essential"

"Adolescent silliness"

And of course someone follows all of these up with the classic:

"Its not like asexuals have it hard"

It seems to be the same people who say we have it so easy that also say we're broken, need fixing or we're (and I quote) "not human."

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