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Has anyone noticed 'asexual' being used as another word for celibacy?


mfc

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"Celibate" seems more like a description one would use for an individual than a couple (cf.1 Corinthians 7:7-9).

I think there'll always be people, even though informed, who still play fast 'n loose with terminology, no matter how important it may be to others. I'd chalk it up to habit more than malicious intent.

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Amoeba-Proteus

I've heard it misused. I've heard things like "I think I'm going to be asexual for now." Or "I'm going to stay asexual till I'm married."

In which case, I've corrected them. Asexual is an orientation. Celibacy is a choice. ^_^

Asexual is also things like budding. But I'm fairly certain nobody wants to follow that route, married or not... :P

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I also hear that a lot, and it kind of bugs me more than it should.

It's especially dissapointing when you hear someone say they're asexual and you think you've found another ace, but then later found out they just meant "I'm not having sex at the moment". Like ugh, stop getting my hopes up! :lol:

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littlepersonparadox

This is something I haven't seen. Asexual in relation to humans I've only seen in relation to the orientation/sexual identity. I suppose people think asexual == no sex (it doesn't but that's a inappropriate idea to argue another time) so they think oh I'm not havering sex therefore it's ok to use this term. The kinda simplify then check out on the fact that "oh yea it's a complex sexuality" that is assuming they heard of asexuality as a orientation before. They could be trying to find a term that describes that choice that's more modern and secularly hip than celibacy. Absence/ abstaining has been a term mixed with so much heated debate, having mixed feelings on useing it personally to describe yourself can reasonably be undesirable for someone.

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romantic-woman

I also hear that a lot, and it kind of bugs me more than it should.

It's especially dissapointing when you hear someone say they're asexual and you think you've found another ace, but then later found out they just meant "I'm not having sex at the moment". Like ugh, stop getting my hopes up! :lol:

right , not only that, i feel the same exactly when i meet someone who says i am asexual and then slowly reveals "well i would like to try sex with you"

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I think there'll always be people, even though informed, who still play fast 'n loose with terminology, no matter how important it may be to others. I'd chalk it up to habit more than malicious intent.

I totally agree with this, but I still think it's worth gentle correcting because I don't like this use of the word. I'd rather my sexual orientation be taken seriously when I mention it, and I don't want people to misunderstand me and think I'm joking or saying I'm not dating at the moment.

Also, some people playing around with the word might actually be ignorant of asexuality, and this way I can get into a fun shouting match rational discussion with them.

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WhenSummersGone

I see posts like this on Twitter sometimes. Someone will say they will turn or become asexual and it bothers me. Celibacy is a better word for those who want a break from sex or whatever.

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People use orientations like they were moods or something. When my friends who identify as straight are having guy problems, for example, they say things like "I may as well turn lesbian." So sometimes when a person isn't getting any right now, they say they're asexual. It's like people I've heard who say, "I haven't had sex in so long, I've become a virgin again." It isn't technically true, of course--they're just exaggerating and being dramatic about their little woe-is-me.

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Yes. I've seen "asexual" used as "intellectually induced asexual" which to me sounds like another form of celibacy. It's always used by males who got tired of females for X,Y,Z reasons. I mean we don't own words and meanings but that one bugs the hell out of me sometimes. It makes other asexuals who define with AVEN definition sound like some kind of pretentious celibate snobs who hate women.

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Sometimes people say "Oh X, Y, Z is SO asexual!" and by "asexual" they mean "a person I wouldn't bang" or "unattractive". :/

It's just... ugh. I swear, next time I hear the word misused like this, somebody will get punched in the face.

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That asexual guy

Many people on here think that the word asexual can only mean a sexual orientation and that is simply not the case at all. The word has been around long before AVEN. It can be used simply as an adjective derived from a- (not) + sexual. People have and will continue to use the word to mean not-sexual because that is the etymology of the word.

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This thread has been moved from World Watch to Asexual Musings and Rantings.

Heart

World Watch Moderator

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As a celibate myself, it already has enough trouble with abstinence, chastity, "involuntary celibacy", virginity, sex-repulsion, religious affiliations, various negative stereotypes. I've yet to see confusion with asexuality and celibacy, but that may just be from the lack of knowledge about it still.

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Yeah, celibacy and asexuality are not interchangable. I think the term they seek is in fact abstinant. Celibabcy is a choice, not an orientation, and celibaby involves a great dealmore than just simply "not having sex". Nothing to get upset about though. People misuse words all the time.

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Language is a thing that naturally evolves and changes. Some people don't know about the concept of asexuality as it's used here, some people misunderstand it, and others just simply don't care because it's not relevant to their life. I think it's a good thing to educate people on the existence of such people as we see around here, but I don't think any one group has the right to invalidate the way another group uses a specific term.

Related: In my teenage days half the people in my class used the term "sexist" interchangably with "making sexual innuendos all the time". It was hilarious and very likely a result of severe misunderstanding, but those people legitimately used the term like that, and so the term actually *meant* that to them. Things like that just happen and you can't stop it.

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Unfortuntely, I notice this often. With increased asexual awareness comes people who hear the word pop up somewhere, but don't bother to learn what it means. The problem is that many people associate the "asexual" with a temporary state of being rather than a legitimate orientation. We have such a long way to go with education.

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I've heard it misused. I've heard things like "I think I'm going to be asexual for now." Or "I'm going to stay asexual till I'm married."

In which case, I've corrected them. Asexual is an orientation. Celibacy is a choice. ^_^

Asexual is also things like budding. But I'm fairly certain nobody wants to follow that route, married or not... :P

No one I know wants two of me, and I don't particularly feel like growing a whole new adult organism and then dividing in half... :P

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YellowElephant

Yes grrrr.

How about "I can't find a girlfriend. It's like I'm asexual but not by choice."

Or "and then they can just choose to be asexual instead"

Me: you mean celibate

"No, celibate is when you don't have sex, asexual is when you choose not to be attracted or have sex."

Yes grrrr.

How about "I can't find a girlfriend. It's like I'm asexual but not by choice."

Or "and then they can just choose to be asexual instead"

Me: you mean celibate

"No, celibate is when you don't have sex, asexual is when you choose not to be attracted or have sex."

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I know what you're talking about. My best friend mistook asexuality for celibacy when I first came out to her. She initially thought it was "great that I could ignore my urges" or something like that until I explained it to her.

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I'm currently reading Facing the Music by Jennifer Knapp (almost done!) and she used the word "asexual" in a similar way. She said something like "I had been living an asexual life for the past 10 years." Might not be a totally appropriate use of the word, but it made sense in context. (She kept very busy with her music career and intentonally didn't pursue any relationships for a long while...then in her late 20s she fell in love with a woman and realized she was a lesbian. I don't think she was implying she actually thought of herself as asexual...more like she was abstinent and didn't think much about sex/orientation at all for those 10 years.)

But I agree, it is unfortunate that some people use the word in the way that they do.

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