I had to break up.

[g_squidman]

I've known this girl for a little over a year, she was kind of desperate at the time and so we started fast. I just jumped into the relationship thinking that I didn't really care how things ended up, as long as I got to know someone new. That's still true, I'm glad it happened.

Thing is, she was pregnant at the time. I tried not to let it bother me, she had her kid and she's not really mothering him, someone else is, so it's not like a huge responsibility or anything. It's a weird situation I guess.

As you'd imagine, someone like this has a long history of life issues. Other things I try not to think about. Her house burned down when she was young, she's been the victim of everything from rape to just being taken advantage of, to just being in relationships out of self-resentment. I'm not normally fond of people like this but I don't get to talk to a lot of people and I was bored and lonely. I didn't take it seriously but she grew on me I'd say.

The actual relationship lasted nearly four months. She started talking to a lot of other guys, just as friends, but I got jealous and the thing sort of fell apart. We still liked each other a lot though, she said she's never felt love like she has for me and I am grateful for that.

Anyway, I have this other friend I've known for years. I'm not social so of course both of these people are long distance online relationships. But my girlfriend was convinced my other friend liked me as more than a friend for some reason and at the time I was kind of angry with her so i stopped talking to her.

Now a year later, inevitable and regrettably I've gotten back with my girlfriend. We both just liked each other too much and one day we were finally honest with each other. It was a good thing.

My friend though, I started talking to her again for the first time in a year. I found out she, who I honestly thought was even more asexual than I am, has since had sex with NINE guys. She lost her virginity and everything. It's really devastating for me.

It made me realize how strongly I feel about sex though. I am always fighting this crusade against it. And as much as it broke my heart to find this out I also realized that as a person I can't take my friend seriously anymore. And as for my girlfriend, I never really did. As much as I love them both in so many ways, sex ruins everything.

So I just got off the phone with my girlfriend. It was really hard but I dumped her. I'm glad I did it right, it would have been so much easier to do it over text. I'm sure she's really messed up right now. Life is tough. I feel so alone. I just wanted to rant I guess, write this out, and then maybe find a distraction so I don't have to think about it. I tried not to write too much cause I know I could go on forever.

[Eva]

Distraction -->

[Midnight Star]

Good on you for being strong enough to make the decision you did. I'm sure that it wasn't easy for you.

[g_squidman]

Thanks. I hate not having someone though. I don't mind being single really it's just that when everyone close to me has lost their virginity in horrible ways it makes me think about them differently and I don't care about them as much as I could. I probably couldn't afford to though.

[pinkroses]

so im not sure im understand right. why was your friend having sex deveastating? you broke up with your girlfriend why ? because your friend has sex?

after being sleep depreived, I got up from a long nap and I still kinda out of it.

did your girlfrined want to have sex? what did you both need to be honest about ?

[Batman's Ace]

:cake:

That kind of decision is really hard to make, but sometimes it's for the best.

[Perseus]

Dude I feel bad that you went through that. I agree with you that sex does just messes things up. I get not wanting to be alone either. I hope things get better for you man.

[g_squidman]

so im not sure im understand right. why was your friend having sex deveastating? you broke up with your girlfriend why ? because your friend has sex?

after being sleep depreived, I got up from a long nap and I still kinda out of it.

did your girlfrined want to have sex? what did you both need to be honest about ?

I anticipated a lot more questions like this. Cause... well, everyone always asks questions like this.

My friend had sex, like a lot of it, all of a sudden. :/ it's really devastating. I tried to pretend for a year that sex didn't bother me the way it did but when that happened it just made me realize how terrible it is.

My girlfriend was fine with not having sex as far as I know. I know she wanted to though. What we were honest about a year ago was that we liked each other a lot and that breaking up the first time was stupid. And it was, it was just me being jealous then.

[Frigid Pink]

I found out she, who I honestly thought was even more asexual than I am, has since had sex with NINE guys. She lost her virginity and everything. It's really devastating for me.

It made me realize how strongly I feel about sex though. I am always fighting this crusade against it. And as much as it broke my heart to find this out I also realized that as a person I can't take my friend seriously anymore. And as for my girlfriend, I never really did. As much as I love them both in so many ways, sex ruins everything.

"Asexuality" isn't about whether or not you're sexually active, how many sexual partners you've had (if any), or whether or not you're "anti-sexual."

[Member54880]

That she had sex doesn't have to destroy your friendship with your friend, but I understand how you feel to some extent. That she had sex, when she for a long time showed no interest, made your concept of her come crashing down.

Sometimes sex gets in the way of relationships, when someone values their sexual partner over all of their friendships and other relationships, and tosses them aside. Were you concerned that was going to happen to you?

[Lydian]

I don't understand why you suddenly can't take someone seriously because they had sex which is a perfectly normal thing for most people to do or what that has to do with your girlfriend at all. You're only bound to cause yourself trouble trying to "crusade" against perfectly normal and natural behaviour on most people's part. It'd be one thing to break up with someone because you felt they wouldn't really be happy without sex or because they needed it for the relationship and you didn't want it but this whole thing just seems sort of muddled to me.

[Karret]

^ I gotta agree with that.

When my former best friend [we naturally drifted, but we're still on good terms and I hang out with her and her family from time to time. They're a super adorable family and I love when I get to see 'em], told me how she had had sex, my opinion of her faltered, but I didn't suddenly revoke any credibility she had with me. Her personality hadn't changed, and it honestly still hasn't, she just had sex. The fact that we can hang out and have fun is what matters to me.

Did you break up with your gf because you thought you would get jealous of her talking to other guys again? Or because she had had sex and you never took her seriously from the start? [Or something else?]

[g_squidman]

I admire that you guys can see past a person's sexual history, really. I can't. I checked, I know what asexuality means and I know what it means for me. I broke up with her because I realized I never took her seriously from the start.

That she had sex doesn't have to destroy your friendship with your friend, but I understand how you feel to some extent. That she had sex, when she for a long time showed no interest, made your concept of her come crashing down.

Sometimes sex gets in the way of relationships, when someone values their sexual partner over all of their friendships and other relationships, and tosses them aside. Were you concerned that was going to happen to you?

I wasn't necessarily concerned that her interest in sex would take over our friendship. It's just that her having had sex made her a different person to me, someone much less genuine somehow. In a way it has destroyed our friendship because there's some connection that is no longer there anymore, even though I intend to talk to her more again and be her friend if I can. I wish I could do the same for my girlfriend after breaking up with her but I've already witnessed how talking to her after a break up would affect her and I can't do that to her. It's just terrible losses upon terrible losses. And more crap someone else would have to dig through if they were worthy of being truly close to me.

[Rising Sun]

And why an interest for sex should make a person less genuine ? Do you realize that your hate of sex makes you treat your friend as if she had a contagious disease ? I don't think that she deserves being treated like that. She's not a monster !

[romantic-woman]

I admire that you guys can see past a person's sexual history, really. I can't. I checked, I know what asexuality means and I know what it means for me. I broke up with her because I realized I never took her seriously from the start.

I wasn't necessarily concerned that her interest in sex would take over our friendship. It's just that her having had sex made her a different person to me, someone much less genuine somehow. In a way it has destroyed our friendship because there's some connection that is no longer there anymore, even though I intend to talk to her more again and be her friend if I can. I wish I could do the same for my girlfriend after breaking up with her but I've already witnessed how talking to her after a break up would affect her and I can't do that to her. It's just terrible losses upon terrible losses. And more crap someone else would have to dig through if they were worthy of being truly close to me.

i have the same opinion as you, i don't know why but when my previous sexual friends described to me how they did sex i was like "omg", it seems that for me everyone around me is a possible asexual person and i feel sad when i see that they are not. Plus that i don't like sex at all so i can't imagine my friend or best friend doing sexual activities.

[g_squidman]

And why an interest for sex should make a person less genuine ? Do you realize that your hate of sex makes you treat your friend as if she had a contagious disease ? I don't think that she deserves being treated like that. She's not a monster !

..... I'm sorry, let me change my sexuality for you.

Yeah, that's exactly what it's like Romantic Woman

[Karret]

And why an interest for sex should make a person less genuine ? Do you realize that your hate of sex makes you treat your friend as if she had a contagious disease ? I don't think that she deserves being treated like that. She's not a monster !

..... I'm sorry, let me change my sexuality for you.

Yeah, that's exactly what it's like Romantic Woman

Having no desire to have sex with anyone has NOTHING to do with thinking someone is "less than human" because they do.

That's you being bigoted.

It's on par with being totally fine friends with someone.... until you find out they're black, then you just can't take them seriously or feel like they're a "genuine" person, w/etf that's supposed to mean.

Your treatment of your friend and ex has NOTHING to do with your sexuality. It has everything to do with an ignorant and intolerant perspective, even though neither were trying to pressure you into having sex. It's kind of fucked up, and what you identify as has abso-fuckin-lutely nothing to do with it.

Like I said, when I hear people have had sex, it disappoints me a bit, but I would NEVER think of them as less than genuine simply because they enjoy an activity that I don't. I would never hold that against someone; I would never stop talking to someone because I learned they had sex. Yes they are different from you, but you are also different from them... and actually every single person is different from every single other person, so does that mean no one is "genuine" to you because we are all different? Are you the only person who's "real" since you can't be different from yourself? Sorry to burst your bubble, bro, but you aren't. And to act that way is elitist and intolerant of other people's differences and it's wrong. You can be sex-repulsed and still not think other people are suddenly "not genuine" because they had sex. It just means you think the idea of sex is gross, not that the people who engage in it are.. what, shallow? Vain? Superficial? That opinion you hold has ZERO connection to your sexuality, so do not confuse the two again, please.

[Stained Glass]

And why an interest for sex should make a person less genuine ? Do you realize that your hate of sex makes you treat your friend as if she had a contagious disease ? I don't think that she deserves being treated like that. She's not a monster !

I don't think that was their intent. I.m sure they are frustrated with how they naturally feel

[g_squidman]

And why an interest for sex should make a person less genuine ? Do you realize that your hate of sex makes you treat your friend as if she had a contagious disease ? I don't think that she deserves being treated like that. She's not a monster !

..... I'm sorry, let me change my sexuality for you.

Yeah, that's exactly what it's like Romantic Woman

Having no desire to have sex with anyone has NOTHING to do with thinking someone is "less than human" because they do.

That's you being bigoted.

It's on par with being totally fine friends with someone.... until you find out they're black, then you just can't take them seriously or feel like they're a "genuine" person, w/etf that's supposed to mean.

Your treatment of your friend and ex has NOTHING to do with your sexuality. It has everything to do with an ignorant and intolerant perspective, even though neither were trying to pressure you into having sex. It's kind of fucked up, and what you identify as has abso-fuckin-lutely nothing to do with it.

Like I said, when I hear people have had sex, it disappoints me a bit, but I would NEVER think of them as less than genuine simply because they enjoy an activity that I don't. I would never hold that against someone; I would never stop talking to someone because I learned they had sex. Yes they are different from you, but you are also different from them... and actually every single person is different from every single other person, so does that mean no one is "genuine" to you because we are all different? Are you the only person who's "real" since you can't be different from yourself? Sorry to burst your bubble, bro, but you aren't. And to act that way is elitist and intolerant of other people's differences and it's wrong. You can be sex-repulsed and still not think other people are suddenly "not genuine" because they had sex. It just means you think the idea of sex is gross, not that the people who engage in it are.. what, shallow? Vain? Superficial? That opinion you hold has ZERO connection to your sexuality, so do not confuse the two again, please.

How can you claim that everyone is different, and that I should accept other people for who they are, and that not accepting the things that make them what they are is bigoted, ignorant, and intolerant, when saying that is not being very accepting of who I am. This isn't a choice for me. I hate that I come here to be accepted for my sexuality and people like you always act like I'm a horrible person... in a place dedicated to accepting people that are normally treated horribly.

I am frustrated with how I feel naturally. I definitely did not want to break up with anyone. I still want to be friends with both of them if I can. They were really important to me at one time.

[GwendolynAngel83]

Hm, I can't understand you're inability to take people who have sex seriously, since having sex doesn't change who a person is, but then again I don't really understand people being attracted to others either. I can see that your friend being different would change your opinion of them though.

I respect that you were willing to break it off with you're girlfriend when you realized that you didn't respect her. It wouldn't be fair to her or you to keep a relationship like that.

[g_squidman]

Hm, I can't understand you're inability to take people who have sex seriously, since having sex doesn't change who a person is, but then again I don't really understand people being attracted to others either. I can see that your friend being different would change your opinion of them though.

I respect that you were willing to break it off with you're girlfriend when you realized that you didn't respect her. It wouldn't be fair to her or you to keep a relationship like that.

Exactly, you don't have to understand it to accept it, that's nearly the whole point of this website.

[Karret]

How can you claim that everyone is different, and that I should accept other people for who they are, and that not accepting the things that make them what they are is bigoted, ignorant, and intolerant, when saying that is not being very accepting of who I am. This isn't a choice for me. I hate that I come here to be accepted for my sexuality and people like you always act like I'm a horrible person... in a place dedicated to accepting people that are normally treated horribly.

I am frustrated with how I feel naturally. I definitely did not want to break up with anyone. I still want to be friends with both of them if I can. They were really important to me at one time.

Being ace is totally different from being sex-repulsed, though. It has nothing to do with your attitudes towards people who have sex, it has to do with whether you experience sexual attraction or not. These things are not one and the same.

I'll admit that I have thrown my personal opinions into the matter, which I should probably not do and I apologize for my harshness, but you are confusing your sexual orientation with your opinion of sex, and they are not one and the same. I'm not saying you can't be both ace AND sex-repulsed, just that to be ace, one isn't GUARANTEED to be sex-repulsed or unable to take people seriously when they have had sex, and you shouldn't merge your sexuality and opinion of sex together as if the two things are interchangeable.

[To clarify here, I am also sex-repulsed when it comes to thinking about myself in a sexual situation or thinking about it happening with anyone I know. I just ignore it/let it go when it's not about me, though, because what other people do behind closed doors is their business and that aspect of life isn't what makes us friends, and what does has nothing to do with one's attitudes towards sex/sexual orientations at all, so it doesn't matter.]

I suppose I was being harsh on you, I just ... the thought of excluding someone for something that to me is ultimately inconsequential seems dumb. It'd be like if someone stopped being friends/broke up with another person because they found out they hadn't gone to college [or had gone to college], listens to a type of music the first person really don't like or has a shitty taste in movies. Sure, the opinion of them could lower a bit, but to break off communication with them seems extreme. Do you see where I'm coming from?

[Frigid Pink]

Nobody has to accept anyone or their behavior (aka "rejection"). I certainly don't accept everyone! I also don't support certain views or attitudes. Also, AVEN doesn't accept or support "elitist" or "anti-sexual" attitudes.

[g_squidman]

How can you claim that everyone is different, and that I should accept other people for who they are, and that not accepting the things that make them what they are is bigoted, ignorant, and intolerant, when saying that is not being very accepting of who I am. This isn't a choice for me. I hate that I come here to be accepted for my sexuality and people like you always act like I'm a horrible person... in a place dedicated to accepting people that are normally treated horribly.

I am frustrated with how I feel naturally. I definitely did not want to break up with anyone. I still want to be friends with both of them if I can. They were really important to me at one time.

Being ace is totally different from being sex-repulsed, though. It has nothing to do with your attitudes towards people who have sex, it has to do with whether you experience sexual attraction or not. These things are not one and the same.

I'll admit that I have thrown my personal opinions into the matter, which I should probably not do and I apologize for my harshness, but you are confusing your sexual orientation with your opinion of sex, and they are not one and the same. I'm not saying you can't be both ace AND sex-repulsed, just that to be ace, one isn't GUARANTEED to be sex-repulsed or unable to take people seriously when they have had sex, and you shouldn't merge your sexuality and opinion of sex together as if the two things are interchangeable.

[To clarify here, I am also sex-repulsed when it comes to thinking about myself in a sexual situation or thinking about it happening with anyone I know. I just ignore it/let it go when it's not about me, though, because what other people do behind closed doors is their business and that aspect of life isn't what makes us friends, and what does has nothing to do with one's attitudes towards sex/sexual orientations at all, so it doesn't matter.]

I suppose I was being harsh on you, I just ... the thought of excluding someone for something that to me is ultimately inconsequential seems dumb. It'd be like if someone stopped being friends/broke up with another person because they found out they hadn't gone to college [or had gone to college], listens to a type of music the first person really don't like or has a shitty taste in movies. Sure, the opinion of them could lower a bit, but to break off communication with them seems extreme. Do you see where I'm coming from?

How can you claim that everyone is different, and that I should accept other people for who they are, and that not accepting the things that make them what they are is bigoted, ignorant, and intolerant, when saying that is not being very accepting of who I am. This isn't a choice for me. I hate that I come here to be accepted for my sexuality and people like you always act like I'm a horrible person... in a place dedicated to accepting people that are normally treated horribly.

I am frustrated with how I feel naturally. I definitely did not want to break up with anyone. I still want to be friends with both of them if I can. They were really important to me at one time.

Being ace is totally different from being sex-repulsed, though. It has nothing to do with your attitudes towards people who have sex, it has to do with whether you experience sexual attraction or not. These things are not one and the same.

I'll admit that I have thrown my personal opinions into the matter, which I should probably not do and I apologize for my harshness, but you are confusing your sexual orientation with your opinion of sex, and they are not one and the same. I'm not saying you can't be both ace AND sex-repulsed, just that to be ace, one isn't GUARANTEED to be sex-repulsed or unable to take people seriously when they have had sex, and you shouldn't merge your sexuality and opinion of sex together as if the two things are interchangeable.

[To clarify here, I am also sex-repulsed when it comes to thinking about myself in a sexual situation or thinking about it happening with anyone I know. I just ignore it/let it go when it's not about me, though, because what other people do behind closed doors is their business and that aspect of life isn't what makes us friends, and what does has nothing to do with one's attitudes towards sex/sexual orientations at all, so it doesn't matter.]

I suppose I was being harsh on you, I just ... the thought of excluding someone for something that to me is ultimately inconsequential seems dumb. It'd be like if someone stopped being friends/broke up with another person because they found out they hadn't gone to college [or had gone to college], listens to a type of music the first person really don't like or has a shitty taste in movies. Sure, the opinion of them could lower a bit, but to break off communication with them seems extreme. Do you see where I'm coming from?

I see where you are coming from yes. Trust me I do. But the fact is that you don't get to be the one who defines asexuality. No one person does. My OPINION on sex is very negative but my reactions to these people having sex have nothing to do with my opinion. Sex-repulsion is not an opinion.

And once again, I really don't appreciate that I come to this website dedicated to people who are judged and shunned by society for being asexual just to have a bunch of people here tell me I'm not asexual and judge and shun me. It drives me nuts!

Nobody has to accept anyone or their behavior (aka "rejection"). I certainly don't accept everyone! I also don't support certain views or attitudes. Also, AVEN doesn't accept or support "elitist" or "anti-sexual" attitudes.

And on that note, yes, AVEN's stance on certain parts of the asexual spectrum tend to be very exclusive. I remember reading something about the origins of AVEN and how when it first started there was another Russian group of asexuals and anti-sexuals. There was some kind of falling out I guess where AVEN basically didn't allow them to be part of the asexual community. So there's been a history from the very beginning.

[Guest]

Mmm, I have not commented here specifically because I do not see how having sex should lead to a break up of friendship or relationships. However, I chose not to comment BECAUSE my not getting it doesn't matter. I am not the OP, so how I feel is not relevant. If one feels something, it is hard to say "don't feel it". And, honestly, I know people that break up / choose partners based on things like what music they like. So, it's not as if seemingly silly reasons are not pretty common... but what is silly to one is important to another.

The OP isn't insulting sexuals, but expressing a personal emotional reaction to the knowledge of their loved ones being sexually active/interested. And, emotional reactions don't need to be logical. Or fair. Why stay with someone you aren't comfortable with anymore, just because it's an unpopular reason to end it? That's a bad reason. It would be unfair to keep it going if OP can't be emotionally invested and comfortable with the relationship. And you can't just tell your emotions to stop because you don't like them, either.

[Karret]

I see where you are coming from yes. Trust me I do. But the fact is that you don't get to be the one who defines asexuality. No one person does. My OPINION on sex is very negative but my reactions to these people having sex have nothing to do with my opinion. Sex-repulsion is not an opinion.

And once again, I really don't appreciate that I come to this website dedicated to people who are judged and shunned by society for being asexual just to have a bunch of people here tell me I'm not asexual and judge and shun me. It drives me nuts!

I wasn't the one who defined it. The generally agreed upon definition via AVEN itself, wikipedia and virtually everyone else says that it's a lack of sexual ATTRACTION/DESIRE. It simply means when you look at a person [or anything else], you don't think "I'd tap that." Sex repulsion is not an orientation, it's an attitude, a mindset. A person can have sexual thoughts about another and be disgusted with themselves for it. That's entirely possible. That would be a person who ISN'T asexual, but IS sex-repulsed. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU PERSONALLY ARE OR AREN'T ASEXUAL, nor am I trying to tell you you are one or the other. By your "definition", the asexuals who have had or do have sex [for compromise or whatever] wouldn't count as asexual, but that's incorrect, because they don't have the innate urge for partnered sex.

I'm not saying you're only sex-repulsed and not asexual. I've said one's opinion of sex has nothing to do with your orientation. I'm not saying you aren't ace. If you don't feel a desire to have sex with anyone, you are asexual*. But your opinion that sex is disgusting or the fact that a person has sex makes you lose respect for them IS your opinion. That part of you is opinion. I find the idea of having sex gross, and that's my opinion. I cannot imagine myself having sex without shuddering and .. just no.

But that isn't what makes me asexual. What makes me asexual is the fact that I've never looked at a person, no matter how hot or whatever gender, and thought about having sex with them. There are PLENTY of asexuals on here who are able to have sex and do, despite their indifference, and that doesn't make them not asexual.

You don't have to be neutral to sex or even positive; you can be grossed out by the thought of it, I'm not harping on you about that. I'm saying that your opinion of sex is not your orientation. If you don't look at people and think about or want to have sex with them, then that would make you ace*. But that doesn't have ANYTHING to do with your hatred of sex. Those are two different things entirely.

Your brand of sex-repulsion is more akin to [Antisexuality], not [Asexuality].

I'm not saying you can't be both. I'm saying Antisexuality IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM Asexuality. Those are two different things, and the one is not mutually exclusive or dependent on the other.

Please understand that I'm trying to help you understand this difference, not tell you whether you are or aren't asexual.

*: Assuming it's not caused by another thing like being symptomatic of another condition, or being sudden/causing you distress, blahblah those other possibilities

[Karret]

Mmm, I have not commented here specifically because I do not see how having sex should lead to a break up of friendship or relationships. However, I chose not to comment BECAUSE my not getting it doesn't matter. I am not the OP, so how I feel is not relevant. If one feels something, it is hard to say "don't feel it". And, honestly, I know people that break up / choose partners based on things like what music they like. So, it's not as if seemingly silly reasons are not pretty common... but what is silly to one is important to another.

The OP isn't insulting sexuals, but expressing a personal emotional reaction to the knowledge of their loved ones being sexually active/interested. And, emotional reactions don't need to be logical. Or fair. Why stay with someone you aren't comfortable with anymore, just because it's an unpopular reason to end it? That's a bad reason. It would be unfair to keep it going if OP can't be emotionally invested and comfortable with the relationship. And you can't just tell your emotions to stop because you don't like them, either.

Eh, yeah, I suppose I can see that, and I have taken back my pushing my opinions on him, but he also seems to misunderstand the actual widely accepted definition of asexuality to be instead the definition of antisexuality, as if the two are related, or that antisexuality is actually a sexuality... it's an opinion, a hostility towards sexuality, just as racism is hostility towards a different race, but apparently OP thinks asexuality is antisexuality when it's not. Antisexuality is not about who you are or aren't attracted to, but an antagonistic view of sex/sexuality, which makes it not a sexuality at all, but an opinion - a viewpoint - on sexuality. It's a belief, an attitude. Being anti-metal music does not mean that "anti-metal" is your favorite genre of metal, because there is no logical way for such a thing to exist.

[Frigid Pink]

"Sex repulsion" and "anti-sexuality" aren't the same.

[Guest]

"Sex repulsion" and "anti-sexuality" aren't the same.

No, they aren't. But, if someone becomes uncomfortable in a relationship, for whatever reason, it's only fair to break it off. No matter if it's a reason people like or not. One cannot have a healthy relationship if one has a negative emotional reaction to the other person in it. The OP hasn't said their ex or their friend are awful people, merely that the relationships were not healthy due to their own emotional reaction to something, so they had to end for now. There is no way to "force" the OP to be comfortable and if they aren't, they shouldn't have these relationships. Not good for OP or for the other people.

[njosnavelin]

I admire that you guys can see past a person's sexual history, really. I can't. I checked, I know what asexuality means and I know what it means for me. I broke up with her because I realized I never took her seriously from the start.

I wasn't necessarily concerned that her interest in sex would take over our friendship. It's just that her having had sex made her a different person to me, someone much less genuine somehow. In a way it has destroyed our friendship because there's some connection that is no longer there anymore, even though I intend to talk to her more again and be her friend if I can. I wish I could do the same for my girlfriend after breaking up with her but I've already witnessed how talking to her after a break up would affect her and I can't do that to her. It's just terrible losses upon terrible losses. And more crap someone else would have to dig through if they were worthy of being truly close to me.

i have the same opinion as you, i don't know why but when my previous sexual friends described to me how they did sex i was like "omg", it seems that for me everyone around me is a possible asexual person and i feel sad when i see that they are not. Plus that i don't like sex at all so i can't imagine my friend or best friend doing sexual activities.

This is totally me.

I have pinned the emotional feeling to envy and jealousy. On the surface I don’t care; however, these feelings come from a deeper primal spot. I can’t control. It happens.