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A clue to how to know if your asexual


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I realized this yesterday when I was thinking over an incident that happened recently, and similar that has happened too.

You know when you're hanging out with a friend. Drinking tea, chatting a bit, playing some video games (or whatever you do).

Then later this other friend messages you/you meet next day at work/school/other and says "Did it go well?" and does that hilarious eye-/eyebrow-thingy that makes you realize that the thing that is intended is not if you won the video game, but... uhm... something else. Not like if you did jump directly into the sofa and had hot sex, but if there was this something in the air that maybe tells you that someday there will be some intimacy.

I would totally freak out at least. It is like it hurts ones inner beeing that someone hints that one ever would do someting like that or that the question even would exist.

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I always have this inner dialogue that frustrates me to no end:

Wait, was that just reduced to sex?

Yes.

Do people always have to do this?

No.

Wait, that thing there, she meant sex, didn't she, and I missed it.

Yes.

Is there something other than sex?

Cake?

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Yes, that is partly what I mean. These thoughts can occur in many different shapes in many different situations. And I'm just dreaming of something where this is not on anyones mind. Especially a moment where ther would be romance without thoughts of intimacy involved - which doesn't happen often. (But I guess that romance doesn't happen to sexual people that often either.)

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Guest Lady.Lizard

Know this convo

I always have this inner dialogue that frustrates me to no end:

Wait, was that just reduced to sex?

Yes.

Do people always have to do this?

No.

Wait, that thing there, she meant sex, didn't she, and I missed it.

Yes.

Is there something other than sex?

Cake?

Though I'm more along the lines of

"Errrr.........is there meant to be something else?" (frantic nodding, nudging and winking from the other person until they give in and say "...you know..did he kiss you, snog you...was there 'sexual tension'")

Then I get confused about how that other thing (sex) is meant to fit in...and then I gives up

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Hnnng I think a thing like that happened to me before. I just thought I was hanging out with a friend, but looking back, I wonder if he thought it was a date.... o voa

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I get that. At the middle of last semester I made friends with this guy that lives on campus and was in one of my classes. It was our third meeting outside of class(we usually met for lunch) that I went to his dorm room to hang out with him. Omg I didn't think anything of it until I got there and he was all awkward. Then I realized.

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Know this convo

I always have this inner dialogue that frustrates me to no end:

Wait, was that just reduced to sex?

Yes.

Do people always have to do this?

No.

Wait, that thing there, she meant sex, didn't she, and I missed it.

Yes.

Is there something other than sex?

Cake?

Though I'm more along the lines of

"Errrr.........is there meant to be something else?" (frantic nodding, nudging and winking from the other person until they give in and say "...you know..did he kiss you, snog you...was there 'sexual tension'")

Then I get confused about how that other thing (sex) is meant to fit in...and then I gives up

Now there's something that baffles me... sexual tension. People talk about it and all I can think is eh? But then I am terrifically oblivious...

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In a similar vein, I guess, many years ago when I was a young man a male friend of mine who knew I was going to dinner at the house of a female friend of mine handed me a condom to take along for the evening. While I did have a platonic/romantic crush on her sex was obviously not on my mind.

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