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How do you feel about hugs and kisses?


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I am wondering if there are asexuals who feel weird about hugs and kisses? I never realized this until my mother told me, but she said that it seemed like whenever people gave me hugs or kisses, I seemed pretty repulsed by it. I never felt this way consciously, but the more I think about it, I am not very crazy about such physical contact.

Does anyone else feel this way?

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Amoeba-Proteus

Not a fan...

Only kissed one person in my life. I didn't mind it once in a while. Other times I wasn't very fond of it... Now that I think about it, I'd prefer to never kiss anyone again. It kinda grosses me out. And besides the act itself, I find saliva really disgusting.

As for hugs. Similar deal. I liked hugs with that person, but I'm not fond of them with anyone else. Haven't been hugged in a long time for that reason. I don't particularly like being engulfed by people...

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Hugs are the absolute best. Especially since I had a shitty day today, and the number of people who offered hugs was very, very nice, and helped me feel better.

Kisses... eh... not so much. They're kind of weird. I appreciate the fact that someone thinks I'm special enough that they want to kiss me, but the actual physical sensation makes me feel a little weird. And being kissed on my lips would be even weirder.

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EquationWorthSolving

I get quite weird about hugs and kisses, particularly with the latter. My friends are very touchy-feely so I'm less prone now to cringing when I get hugged or when an arm drapes itself around my shoulders (I used to jump away and glare at people for a few seconds), but I still get uneasy. It's not quite repulsion, but I don't really know what else to call it, discomfort maybe. There are one or two exceptions to that, but overall... Yeah.

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If I feel comfy with you then you can pretty much hug me all you want, as long as it is an appropriate time for hugging.

I'm not going to go kissing strangers, but if we're close then it might be alright.

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Hugs are amazing :D Always liked em.

I used to be more like you, regarding kisses. Never understood the appeal. Since getting to know my current partner, though... all of a sudden, I get it. We haven't even met in person yet. It really is like someone threw a switch o_O

Generally speaking though, kisses are a more intimate/personal thing that I probably wouldn't just do with anyone >_>

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I could hug a lot but with very limited people. Ironically, I am not a hug-initiator. Also, I can hug children no matte their gender, age, religion, nation etc. in spite of me being not fond of them.

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If I'm stressed, tired or angry, the last thing I want is for someone to touch me, even if it is a hug or a head scratch. At times like these I just want space.

I can initiate hugs most of the time, but I'm not really a fan so much of kissing. At the beginning of my relationship kissing and hugging came easily, but I think I'm only open to kissing as a means of affection when the new relationship hormonal drugs are in effect. After that, kissing just makes me feel weird.

Maybe my kissing seems to be linked to my desire for a romantic relationship, once that is established it sort of fades away and a strong desire to kiss is replaced by repulsion.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

I love hugs and kisses! They're probably my favourite way of showing and receiving affection :wub:

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I've never liked hugs or kisses. They just do nothing to me. They give me no pleasure, and they usually leave me feeling very awkward and uncomfortable. Another reason I despise holidays is the amount of hugs family usually give you throughout the days. My friends all tell me I should hug people more, but what's the point if I'm just gonna feel uncomfortable after? I know hugs are supposed to make you feel loved and safe, and it's a form of comfort, but hugs have no effect on me in that way. I'm actually jealous of people who can constantly hug people, and enjoy it. I wish I liked hugging. I wish I could show my affection with hugs. I wish hugs and kisses made me feel loved and safe and comforted like they're supposed to, but to me it's just normal body contact. A hug from my mom feels the same as a random tap on the shoulder by a stranger asking for directions, and that knowledge makes me feel wrong and cruel.

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IceHurricane,

That last sentence is something I understand feeling. When my mom told me that it felt like I did not like hugging her, I was shocked even though deep down I knew it was true. However, I know that the lack of physical affection in no way is a lack of actual love. So I am sure that your mom knows you love her, even if your physical affirmation does not show it.

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Someone once told me that I give hugs the equivalent of the dead fish handshake. Apparently you're supposed to squeeze back a bit? I'm basically pretty awkward with anyone getting in my personal space. Kisses? NO. *grumpy cat face* I pretty much always want to hug cats when I see them, though.

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I don't like them especially kissing, apart from the whole swapping saliva thing which is gross I feel claustrophobic and panic if someone tries, same with hugging I can give a quick hug to somebody else and some people I know who have serious mental health problems expect hugs but I do it very quickly and I've noticed I tend to keep my body out of contact with theirs. It's a quick arm around the shoulders a pat on the back and that's all I can manage.

Even with my children i struggle and I have to try to make sure I initiate a hug with them rather than them hugging me which makes me feel very cruel but they've never noticed as I do give them lots of hugs...just in my own way.

My mum once told me that as a very young child if she hugged me, picked me up or sat me on her knee I would tolerate it for a few seconds but would then quickly move away.

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Might sound weird.

I used to think I liked hugging and kissing my partner.

It fade away every year.

Now it comes to "only when I want to" which is pretty egoistic.

I do not have a partner right now so I do not hug or kiss people and I am not missing it.

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romantic-woman

Hugs make me feel safe and warm, that someone is there for me giving me strength but only with people i love

I also relax or reduce anxiety

Kisses are nice too (with people i love only)

but nothing more than these

I stay away from people that i am not emotionally close to them, i feel weird when random people or friends wanna hug me, even relatives

I need to have feelings and trust the person besides me unless i don't do anything

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I love to hug and be hugged, if I trust the person doing the hugging.

I also love kisses, but for humans it needs to be someone I am aesthetically attracted to. I kiss and hug my cats all the time, but they really don't appreciate it much.

But then again I am also very touchy-feely with people IF I am sure they are comfortable with it. With strangers, I follow the "standard Western male social protocol" which is "handshakes OK, only."

To me, touch expresses affection and love (any kind really), so for example I would kind of require it in a romantic relationship.

In general, to me, a feeling expressed through words or touch has a lot more intensity and depth than a feeling I just need to assume is present.

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LadyWallflower

I do not like kissing at all. I do hug people occasionally, but if feels very awkward to me. And cuddling? Just no.

Physical contact in general just seems weird to me.

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crazypimpernelfan

I don't like hugging and kissing, like, AT ALL. I never like to hug anybody unless they are close to me, BUT they have to be girls and it can only be a quick hug or two. And I don't like kisses (except from my Mom, and only occasionally!) In fact, I don't like touching in general. However, I usually don't include this as part of my sexual attraction because otherwise people assume that ALL asexuals have to hate being touched. If I had thought all asexuals were like that, I'd have reconsidered calling myself asexual. But since there's quite a variety among asexuals, it's cool with me. :P

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I enjoy hugs, but don't usually initiate them unless someone I know pretty well is obviously upset. Even then it's the arms wide 'would you like a hug, would this help?' Stance. Kissing? The last time I felt comfortable was when i was ten. Coming from a somewhat French family means i feel pretty awkward when I see my aunties, andeven kissing my newphew goodnight had to be made into a joke for me to feel okay about it.

Can i please just give you all hugs? ;__;

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Up until I was about 15 or 16 I was really awkwrd about hugs. It's not that I didn't like them--I was pretty indifferent at that point--it's just that I didn't really know how to respond. In high school I got a friend who literally tackle-hugged me every day, so I got used to it and now I adore hugs.

I have absolutely no experience with kissing, so no opinion there. I'm interested, though.

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I'm apprehensive about hugs. They sound nice, but I'm fairly averse to touch, and I'm not good at giving them. Kissing, or being kissed on the cheek, is barely tolerable for me, but am disgusted by kissing, or being kissed on the mouth.

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Breathing....

A hug from my mom feels the same as a random tap on the shoulder by a stranger asking for directions, and that knowledge makes me feel wrong and cruel.

.

I got told by a family member that I gave 'defensive hugs' I dont often allow them but when I say this person they always expected one (close family) and I usually wanted to be able to comfortably give one back but I always put my arms between my body and theirs so only my arms would touch their front. This person, didn't seem to take offence but found it a 'peculiar habit'.

In general as a family we don't hug or kiss, I'm not very fond of it at all. I have, in the last few years relaxed slightly and will allow 3/4 friends to hug me. I freeze if a stranger (usually a friend of a friend, distant family member etc) tries.

I have never been kissed, tho I suppose 2 friends have taken to occasional forehead kisses if I'm having a bad day and I don't mind that really, but even the thought of mouth kisses freaks me out so I can't imagine I'd be too happy about it.

I can cope with children hugs, cuddles and kisses perfectly fine tho, infact enjoy them and find them (or cats) great if I'm having a bad day.

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I don't like either at all. I'm going to have to explain to my relatives about the constant need to hug because it's bothering me. I just avoid people that are over tactile and explain firmly that if they want to see me there will be no hugging or kissing. I've never been in a relationship either so that's out of the question.

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LookingGlassAlice

When I was younger and when I was a kid I felt really awkward with hugs but now I don't mind them, maybe I got used to it because now I have a lot of friends who like to hug. I also don't like being touched by people I don't know well and I sometimes will jerk away or jump if someone touches me, it's like an automatic response. Some of that may be because I have fibromyalgia though and it causes touch sensitivity where it can actually be painful if someone touches me, say if someone taps my shoulder to get my attention or something that can hurt a lot (it varies).

I don't mind kisses on the cheek from friends but I don't like actual kissing like in a romantic way. It makes me really nervous if I think someone might try to kiss me, my anxiety goes way up and then I just think about saliva and get grossed out.

So I guess for me I am fine with them as long as they are platonic?

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Beyourownspotlight

I love them!

(provided there's no tongue involved in the kiss--- I just don't like certain textures in my mouth, and other tongue is one of them ---I'm weird with food textures too).

But I love hugs, and kisses. I am down for hugs off of just about anyone, and everyone.

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I don't mind hugs, but I don't really like kisses all that much. It's just kinda germy and gross.

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Hugging...don't mind. Kissing....can't really speak from experience as I've never been in a relationship that went that far but I don't know if I'd be comfortable with it. :unsure:

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