How do you feel about hugs and kisses?

[PurplePr1nc3ss]

I love hugs but I've never been kissed so I don't know but it's fine if you are. repulsed by that kind of thing

[SuchFun]

I like hugs from my close family but hugs from anyone else, including my best friends, make me feel a bit claustrophobic and out of control (that doesn't stop people from hugging me all the time to try and make me like it 😡) I even feel a little uncomfortable when my best friend who I have known since preschool and is like my sister hugs me.

As for kisses, I have never kissed anyone and I really don't ever want to...

[The Ace Otaku]

For me hugging is on a person to person bases with me allowing only a certain few people to hug me, and kissing I like close mouth kissing but hate open mouth (too much fluid for me)

[life_carnival]

Well, I am an Indonesian and I usually kiss cheek-to-cheek when I meet female friends whom I have not seen for quite awhile. But I don't hug easily and I never kiss anyone on the mouth (nor I could see myself doing it)

[Larkaloke]

Hugs are fine with me, especially from family or close friends. I apparently tend to hug in a somewhat awkward way, which leads people to think that I have a problem with it, but I don't. I'm not good at expressing my feelings verbally when I'm actually very sad, or having to deal with somebody else who is, so I tend to go for hugs instead in those cases (except with regards to my brother, who doesn't like being touched).

I don't mind kissing on the cheek or the like (although only from people I do know and care about), but definitely not the mouth. That would just be weird and uncomfortable to me.

[Guest]

I like hugs in my head, fantasy, but in practice I freeze up and may hug back stiffly and awkwardly. I dunno if it's that I just have a strong concept of personal space for both myself and others, or what. And kissing, about the same. If you're a grandmother type, I won't be too bothered. A guy...I would be pretty weirded out.

(Sorta not-so-sexual-sexual here, or perhaps very dark on the gray scale. Or maybe there's a bit of overlap, IDK. Anyways, if you want a bit of demographic.)

[Autumn Season]

I'm kind of glad, that many people in this thread don't like physical contact. It makes me feel less awkward myself.

I don't like being randomly touched, when I don't see it coming. Otherwise I don't mind. If it's friendly hugs, I love them. Cuddling... idk. Maybe I haven't met the "right person" for this. In my head I enjoy imagining myself cuddling with somebody for hours, but when actually doing it, I get so bored.

Kisses are bad. If it's an animal, I can kiss them. But when it's a human being, I don't like them bringing their face close to mine. It feels wrong. Deep kisses are a bit disgusting. Not much, but enough to make me uncomfortable. Kissing for a long time is so boring and exhausting. I keep thinking: "Are we done yet?" On the one hand side I want my partner to feel good. That's why I SHOULD be glad, that they like cuddiling and kissing (with) me so much. On the other hand side I just wished I didn't have to do any of those actions. *sighs*

[Mudlark]

Usually I find hugs and kisses to just be downright awkward apart from anything else. When someone hugs me my body tends to go into stiff scarecrow mode by default, without me even really realizing. I don't mind getting a hug from people I like, but I just don't think I'm a very good hugger in general. Kisses-if it's just a peck on the cheek from close friends and family as a sign of affection, I don't mind much, but to be honest I could just as easily do without. Of the two, I definitely prefer hugs to kisses. That said, if I ever received a hug or kiss from someone I was attracted to in a slightly more intimate, maybe romantic way, I think I might actually like it then, somehow; maybe because I see them as being slightly more intimate gestures than usual greetings, though not in a sexual way.

[Mangosteen]

They're not entirely bad, but I don't initiate them. When it comes to physical contact of any kind, I try to avoid it. However! Funnily enough, I don't mind giving people a kiss on the cheek as a thank you (I'm thinking about my parents here). I'd rather do that than hug them. Being kissed on the other hand, not so much.

[asanaambitions]

I'm pretty touch averse, especially with strangers. If strangers touch me, for any reason, it makes me want to recoil and smack them away. With my best friend I'll give her a hug when we meet and part, but beyond that I have to constantly remind myself that it's a nice thing to do to give a friendly pat (or whatever) because it's just not in my nature. In a romantic relationship I do enjoy hugs, cuddles and kisses (though not much tongue thanks!) but not all the time. My previous relationships were all with sexual people and I just didn't understand their compulsion to be constantly cuddling and desire to be all over each other all the time. Now that I've been single for a while I do miss having the occasional cuddle, but not enough to ever date someone who's sexual again.

[HarleighAnn]

I used to HATE when people touched me. It literally felt as if someone was burning me because that's how hard I would focus on their hands! lol! But now I've gotten to where just my close family and a few friends can hug me and I won't spaz out. I have been kissed, and I can say that I never truly liked it. Just the thought of someone kissing me again makes my skin crawl. I guess it's just a preference.

[Skycaptain]

For me hugs = panic. Even a hug from an older family member just makes me feel really uncomfortable.

Kissing is something I have never done whilst sober, or at all for twenty years plus, and now the mere thought disgusts me.

Mind I am a repulsed aro-ace which may have something to do with this.

[Uranium]

Oddly for an Aspie in particular, I'm actually quite touchy feely with close family. Growing up, plenty of hugs and kisses was customary and I was myself a very physically affectionate kid, so I'm used to that. I'm super awkward about hugs from anybody else though, even best friends, and strangers are just a no-no. Hate people I've just met hugging me without warning.

What grosses me out most is tongue kissing and such things - thanks but no thanks, I want no part in such thorough saliva exchange. Actually, any kind of saliva exchange. Never seen the appeal. :X

[Downwinds]

I do. It basically became a joke at school for people to hug me by surprise because of how much I'd squirm and freak out in reaction. I just don't like being touched. At all. I have a girlfriend now and she is very insecure without *constant* touching - the very opposite of what I want. It's not even been going on for long, us two being together, but it's pushing and grating at me already to the point where I dread spending time together sometimes because I know just how much I'm going to have my personal space invaded. Sure, I willingly experimented with kissing at first because as my first girlfriend, I had no idea whether I'd suddenly enjoy it or not. I didn't. It's gross. I don't like being so close to people's faces and having bodily fluids of any sort all over me. I don't know how it's pleasurable at all for people. Ever since we became 'a thing', we can't even just sit next to each other without her trying to squeeze the life out of me, it feels like. It's as if she's scared I'll run away if she doesn't hold me as tightly as she can so that I can barely move. I have to squirm just to breathe fresh air, it's that uncomfortable. I struggle not to be sick when I have her breathing in my face and I can't move away or turn around. But if it was just a short, gentle hug from someone I liked a lot, and it wasn't constantly happening, I'd probably enjoy it.

[Jaded Princess]

I loves me some hugs, kisses are people specific ie my husband :)

[Cosette Belles-Lettres]

I have been wondering how other people felt about this myself, and I'm interested to read other peoples' responses. Personally, I'm not a big hugger. I'll hug my family, I'll hug my best friend if she's having a bad day, and I'll hug my boyfriend if I have one. But other than that, I'd prefer not to hug people. Even at church, I would rather not be hugged. But I go to a hugging church, so there's really no way of avoiding it without seeming stand-offish. Kisses are special to me. My grandparents are the only people I kiss in my family, and that's a quick peck on the cheek. But when I'm with a guy, I really enjoy kissing him and holding him. I find French kissing to be disgusting, even with someone I had deep feelings for. It just seemed gross. But that's me.

[- - -]

i hate hugs and kisses and dont do either. especially kisses

[b_oat]

Hugs are ok. Kisses are weird... can live fine without them (and have been doing so for 24 years). Even cheek kisses from parents/relatives disgust me.

[Dakow]

I like hugs from people I'm close to. I'll tolerate them from people I'm not close to, but it's just slightly awkward.

Kissing is meh. I don't really see the appeal... The feelings I want to communicate can be communicated by other means (such as hugging and cuddling). And mouth-to-mouth contact is a no-no for me I think. I might be willing to compromise on that if my SO wants it but eh.

[cosmosredshift7]

I 'm touch repulsed, and demi- or gray-sensual, so I only want to touch/hug/kiss someone i've been dating, but only after a number of months.

[TheLycanthrope]

Very very rarely do I not mind a hug and never do I want a kiss. I don't get them anyways and I don't like being touched so this isn't an issue for me ;)

[Guest]

Since it was brought up, I also find French kissing to be gross. But then a friend of mine explained it to me from a biological standpoint, that there are a lot of nerve endings in the mouth and that's why French kissing is pleasurable. Just as there are a lot of nerve endings in certain places on the body, which are connected to sexual pleasure. (Not just the genitals.)

So after I heard that, I might be open to French kissing....if I ever get married. Even then it might still be too gross for me.

[TheLycanthrope]

Since it was brought up, I also find French kissing to be gross. But then a friend of mine explained it to me from a biological standpoint, that there are a lot of nerve endings in the mouth and that's why French kissing is pleasurable. Just as there are a lot of nerve endings in certain places on the body, which are connected to sexual pleasure. (Not just the genitals.)

So after I heard that, I might be open to French kissing....if I ever get married. Even then it might still be too gross for me.

The last times I french-kissed someone (9 months ago(will also be the last time I hope!)) and every time before I felt like my mouth was stinging and that some sick disgusting fire was burning my lips! I worried that this might be oral herpes but, luckily, it isn't. I'm just repulsed by kissing. Some of my friends who do it love it though so I suppose you can give it a shot. You may or may not end up liking it.

[JaySexual]

I wouldn't want a hug or kiss from some random, or even someone I only somewhat knew... but if it was someone who I was close with then I truly believe I'd like to hug/cuddle/kiss.

[Hellcat67]

Unless you're my family or my oldest friends? Don't even try it. I hate physical contact with strangers, or even new friends, it makes me so uncomfortable!

Can't have much of an opinion on kissing, but I guess if it follows the same pattern then I'll have to know them for ages beforehand!

[Yinlotus93]

I don't mind hugs from/to family members. I feel weird about hugging friends or close acquaintances (and typically won't). Not ok at all with the idea of a complete stranger hugging me. I would only be fine if the person genuinely means something to me. And kissing is pretty much a higher level of 'must be someone close and meaningful' for me to do that. I can give cheek kisses to my family members and be fine, and will kiss kids in my family on the face (a lot, I love kids). But as far as non-family I would probably need a LOT of time to know and develop deep meaningful feelings for someone before that's even a distant possibility. (As far as romance goes as well, never romantically in any way ever touched a guy or had my first kiss in over 2 decades of life.)

[furaneol]

I cringe at the thought of hugs. I'm not entirely fond of physical contact in general, and even when hugging my best friend, I can't get entirely comfortable to stay embraced in a hug for more than a second. If a stranger is trying to reach out to give me a hug, I usually tend to step aside, or if I'm too late, I just put one arm around their back and just *pat pat* before breaking away. If it's a friend, I'll give them a hug for a second or two out of politeness. With parents, I'll give them 5-10 seconds max before I call it quits.

Kisses... oh geez. I've never experienced "lip kissing", but even cheek/air kissing alone is quite revolting for me. Even with my parents, I try to avoid cheek kissing them as much as possible... only when they complain do I begrudgingly give them a peck on the cheek. I remember traveling to countries where its a part of their culture to air kiss someone on both cheeks... I know I'm not even making contact with them, but just making the sound alone was fairly unsatisfying.

However, I explain this all in the context of friends/family. I've never been in a relationship, so I can't say the same about kissing/hugging with a significant other... although, there is one person that has been on my mind lately who I long to have as my SO (also officially the first person who I've ever liked). There are dreams where I'm comfortably hugging him over extended periods of time... as if I just wanted to fall into his arms and never let go. Having never hugged him in person though, I can't say for sure if my feelings toward hugging would be different with him...

[Danny_Smith]

It's affection. Showing that you have emotional feelings for a person. It's nice. Nothing wrong with it.

[McPhail]

I am generally touch-averse, because people have taken advantage and touched me without consent in the past. I don't have pleasant associations with social physical contact.

Hugs, only with close family. We aren't very touchy-feeley anyway, but I appreciate occasional emotional support through a hug. Because it happens so rarely, hugs and friendly touch is of high significance to me. When strangers intrude like that it feels rude and uninvited.

Absolute nope to kisses. I resent greetings that involve cheek kisses.

[if-indeed]

Maybe I'm strange here, but friendly hugs and other casual touch from people I trust feel really positive for me. If being "touch-starved" is a real thing then it happens to me a lot. I think I may be a very sensual person without a lot of outlet for it (some of my OCD obsessions make it really difficult for me to initiate any kind of physical contact, so usually I end up hoping other people initiate or asking directly, which can feel weird). Most of the close friendships I've had were with touchy feely type people, but that's probably a chicken-egg situation.